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MY BF says I am obsessed!!!!

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Old 03-27-2009, 09:46 AM   #1
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Default MY BF says I am obsessed!!!!

I am NOT obesessed. He said that my whole revolves around WL and running and 3FC adn I don't pay him any attention. I work the whole day and when I get off I head to gym and then I get on 3FC to post my progress! I am on 3FC about an hour in the evenings. He recently lost his job (jan) and to make sure he didn't gain any weight back (he lost 140 lbs) He went to the gym twice a day for a total of 8 HRS a day. By the tiem I get home he has done all the things he wanted to get done ...so now I am obsessing because I have a job and have to extra - curricular things AFTER WORK??? I mean caaamon! Yes I started running in Nov and Dec on and off and more seriouslly in Jan. I have signed up for 5K's and I talk about it alot because I am soo excited and proud of my self!!! I don't wanna talk him to death so I get on 3FC!!! When he first started lifting weights and losing weight my ear practically bled listening to him. And when I first started WW's he told I wasn't losing as fast because I needed to workout like...well duh I am and now there is another problem// ARGH!!!!! I needed to vent. He is ot taking my progress and pride from me I won't let that happen!! I enjoy working out, being healthy and sharing experiences on here.
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Old 03-27-2009, 09:59 AM   #2
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My DH says the same thing - I try very hard not to obsess but I think at some level we have to.
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:10 AM   #3
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Do what you need to do for yourself. Treat yourself well, and love yourself. Going to the gym and getting support on 3FC to improve your health is treating yourself well and loving yourself. So keep up the good work. And in the immortal words of RuPaul: "Honey, you better love yourself, because if you can't love yourself, how the heck are you going to love somebody else? Can I get an AMEN???"
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:14 AM   #4
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It's all in the perception. One of my sisters complained to the other that I was obsessed (and annoying) because I read all the labels at Trader Joe's when we were there together. My perception is that I avoid talking about weight loss with her because she is much larger than I am and she isn't doing much about it.
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:14 AM   #5
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Yep, I get the same comments from my hubby too..not often, but they do come. He is even making the comments for me "not to lose anymore!" OMG! This is soooo about ME. This is not about him and not about anything or anyone external. Yes, I do indulge and take part in 3FC probably more than I should--for now anyway. I need this site. It helps me stay on track. It gives me an outlet to discuss this issue that has plagued me for so many years. I don't want to discuss this with those in my real time life--nothing is worse than hearing about weightloss when you aren't into it--I have been on the receiving end of that and hated it--so I come here.
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:14 AM   #6
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Is he still out of work?

Men have a hard time not being "producers." This more likely not about you spending too much time working out and on 3FC. It's about him not having work all day and an equally busy evening.

I suggest you continue to work on yourself and make some time for your boyfriend to make him feel like you prioritize your time with him, as well.

If there's one thing I know, it's men. ;-)
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:15 AM   #7
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Amen
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:16 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nada View Post
It's all in the perception. One of my sisters complained to the other that I was obsessed (and annoying) because I read all the labels at Trader Joe's when we were there together. My perception is that I avoid talking about weight loss with her because she is much larger than I am and she isn't doing much about it.
Yes, exactly Nada. I don't discuss it either for the same reason you don't. I don't want to offend anyone or shove this stuff down someones throat. I have a friend that did that (when she lost weight and now she is heavier than ever) and she almost lost my friendship over it.

I read labels too. I don't care to waste my money on chemicals or things that are crap. There are too many choices that I love that are actually things my body NEEDS, won't get me offplan and won't give me cancer!
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:20 AM   #9
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My bf says basically the same thing and makes comments because before I eat things I look at the nutritional and use my points finder to see if I have enough points, and I also look at the ingredients. He says who cares about the points potatos arent going to make you fat or porkchop isnt going to make you fat with the eye roll (drives me crazyy but I just ignore him). Helloo I care and I will eat them just smaller portions that I would normally. He is very thin, eats whatever he wants and doesnt gain an ounce so when he is eating junk he always offers it to me and when I say No you know I'm on a diet it makes me obessed. But if obsessed means sticking to my plan and losing weight its alright with me!!
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:22 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rachinma View Post
Is he still out of work?

Men have a hard time not being "producers." This more likely not about you spending too much time working out and on 3FC. It's about him not having work all day and an equally busy evening.

I suggest you continue to work on yourself and make some time for your boyfriend to make him feel like you prioritize your time with him, as well.

If there's one thing I know, it's men. ;-)
He actually starts his job on Monday. But we spend time together which is why a lot of the time I think it is BS! I don't get on EVERY weeknight I skip a few and we also hang on the weekends. Oh I don't work 8 hr days I work like 10 hr days...remember he didn't have a job.... Thanks for you advice

Thighsbegone - me too. I thought i was doing him a favor not talking him to absolute death ya know. This site really helps me. He's just a big a** baby!

ggg - and yes I feel we do have to some point or we will end up where we started all over again!

Nada - it always seems like people are knocking us (being dieter and maintainers) for how we stay healthy and fit just because they are not...IDK but seems like Haterz to me!

Kira -
Quote:
"Honey, you better love yourself, because if you can't love yourself, how the heck are you going to love somebody else? Can I get an AMEN???"
I love that! And I am gonna have to keep in mind!!
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:24 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caleighsmommy View Post
My bf says basically the same thing and makes comments because before I eat things I look at the nutritional and use my points finder to see if I have enough points, and I also look at the ingredients. He says who cares about the points potatos arent going to make you fat or porkchop isnt going to make you fat with the eye roll (drives me crazyy but I just ignore him). Helloo I care and I will eat them just smaller portions that I would normally. He is very thin, eats whatever he wants and doesnt gain an ounce so when he is eating junk he always offers it to me and when I say No you know I'm on a diet it makes me obessed. But if obsessed means sticking to my plan and losing weight its alright with me!!
OMG that is exactly whai he does. He is not very thin and does gain weight but he works out os long and hard what he eats isn't really effecting him. WHat i don't get is he obsesses to a point about it himself so why criticise me????
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Old 03-27-2009, 11:13 AM   #12
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Heh heh. You don't understand. It's all in the speaker's perception. It's basically like this:

I have interests and hobbies.
You have obsessions.

I am attentive and dedicated and hard-working.
You are compulsive. You are obsessed.

Now do you get it?
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Old 03-27-2009, 11:47 AM   #13
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My hubby says I'm obsessed too. I'm not even concerned. If I'm doing something that makes me happy, that makes his life a little easier. We've called a truce: he lets me talk on and on about weightloss, nutrition, and calories; and I will nod and make acknowledging grunts when he goes on and on about sports, his hockey pool, music, tv shows, etc.

I'm sure it'll get a little easier once he's back to work. Just keep doing what you're doing because you sound like you're making great progress.
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Old 03-27-2009, 11:57 AM   #14
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I also think for a lot of us a factor in what makes us fat was spending too much time thinking, doting, caring for other people and not ourselves.
It is a shocking situation when your fat partner takes a turn and suddenly spends genuinine time on themselves. I can understand how that may create a perception of an obsession or that they have gone nuts with this new diet and don't spend enough time with loved ones.

I have observed though, that some of my healthier friends spend a considerable amount of time exercising (jogging, yoga, gym etc) without their spouses. I have yet to hear one of their spouses complain. I think it is because they came into the relationships with a different balance and a different set of expectations. It was always clear to their partners that their health and body was a priority.
I think over time it becomes clear that it is not an obsession, rather a normal part of self care. And I don't think spending a certain amount of every day on 3fc is weird You sound pretty in control to me, CakeBatter.
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Old 03-27-2009, 12:20 PM   #15
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Every time he says something, just calmly ask how much time he spent at the gym the past 7 days. He's being a bit ridiculous if he is spending hours at the gym.
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