Hey guys.
I'm really down, because... I would say "I've been trying to lose this weight for a year now." but I have not. I feel like I have not been trying.
Last year around this time I was about 135lbs and I was not happy with my body since I'm only about 5"3.
Right now I'm still 5"3 and I am 160lbs. A couple of months ago I was 155lbs.
Now about my problem(s).
I always seem to start dieting and exercising but I CANNOT last longer than a week! I would work my butt off too, but I just kind of... stop. For no reason at all. The most I lost was I think 10 lbs in 2 weeks (AND I didn't even stick to the diet and exercising that badly) and I looked better and felt better too! Then I just kind of stop.. I would go home and eat bad food, skip exercising or eat badly at school (whenever I get a salad, I always get some ******* "Hey Rumi, trying to lose some weight? Hahaha.") and then after that I just stop with the whole thing.
Sometimes I would randomly have those moments of "I can do this! I have to!" and I would find myself thinking "I wish this feeling would last..." But it just doesn't.
I've only been dealing with being "fat" for about a year now, and it's horrible! Especially in high school. I'm bigger than ALL of my friends, even the friends that use to be bigger than me! I cannot fit in most of their clothes anymore, I find myself wearing big jackets and hoodies ONLY! Do you know how many friends would come look through my closet, jealous. Asking me why I never wear all of my cute clothes? A lot. Do you know how many friends that I use to be smaller than I see, and I just think 'I wish I had her body'? All of them!
Also, another thing. There is a gym RIGHT next to my school. My mom is offering to let me join in the summer, with somebody else from my family. Of course I was excited. But then I started thinking.. There are a LOT of people from my school that go there, some who don't exactly like me either.. :/ I don't want to try working out and have somebody snickering and giggling as I walk in, or try to work out... Whenever I go outside running, it also always has to be at night, when it's dark. Because I don't like it when people watch me, or even see me, especially people from school.
I really want to lose weight! You guys have no idea how much guys use to like me and give me compliments.. I have not had a guy ask me out for, you guessed it, this year! ): I know it's stupid because I'm complaining about this after just a year, and most of you guys have struggled with weight for ages, but please tell me how you finally did it, and what got you motivated.
And it's not that I don't come on here lurk around, see pictures, stories and of COURSE I go "I CAN DO IT! I'm gonna be healthy for myself." then it just disappears... Even if I see results. :/
I think (and I have been told) that I have great potential. Before I use to do really bad in school, and then I realized. I'm smart, and I'm basically just wasting all of that away. So I did better in school, I did it for myself and I'm doing good now! And I really do have a great figure and body shape, and I feel like I'm wasting my BODY by letting it get bigger and bigger.
And I keep thinking about it. Before I was 135, I was 120...
Now I'm 160.
That's 40lbs and it didn't take a long time. If I keep doing the same mistake... I'm going to be 200LBS soon! ):
Ok, first of all, you need to calm down and focus. Rome wasn't built in a day -- it took time to gain the weight, and it's going to take time to lose the weight.
Motivation will only get you so far. If you really want to accomplish any kind of goal in life, you need to come up with a detailed plan. You mentioned how you used to not do so well in school but that you turned that around. How did you turn that around? You probably starting doing things like taking an hour a day to study, sitting with a mentor, being coached by your parents, etc. That is an action plan to do better in school.
Weight loss is no different. You need to come up with detailed action items. Take a good look at yourself. What behaviors have led you to gain weight over the past year? For example, have you noticed that you have new snack times or that you eat more of certain foods that you used to? Once you realize the things that have caused you to gain weight, you can take specific action steps to reverse those trends. For example, if you notice that you usually come home and eat 6 oreos every day, change that habit and have a handful of walnuts and an apple instead. And then DO it, every day.
Baby steps. Do your best to take your friends and peers out of your weight loss journey. It's your life, your health, and your happiness.
Hey RockingBird! Okay, so I'm about 10 years older than you, but I totally could have written your post back when I was in high school. (not trying to scare you, there's seriously no reason at all you need to get up to as high a weight as I did!)
My problem was that I had plenty of motivation to lose weight, I really wanted to and kept trying, but I just didn't understand what I needed to do, really. I saw all the commercials for weight loss stuff, and now with shows like The Biggest Loser it must be really messing up your idea of what's good and normal for weight loss, cause all those commercials and TV shows are TOTALLY FAKE. I mean, yeah, people on The Biggest Loser do lose a ton of weight, but a "week" isn't even a week for them, it's like 10+ days! So there's a ton of fake crap involved that makes it totally unrealistic.
Anyhow, so back in high school I did end up joining the gym around the corner, and I worked out every day after school for like 2 months, but I didn't lose any weight at all... because I didn't know that weight loss is only like 20% the exercise you do, and like 80% about the food you eat. So I'd go work out a ton, then come home and eat a bunch of doritos and mountain dew. Oh, and I remember one time I saw this stupid movie about anorexia in health class, and I was like, "I know, I'll just stop eating, like her! Then I'll be thin!!" which lasted for maybe half a day, then I was so hungry I ate like 3,000 calories in one meal. Dumb. I didn't know that I had to eat a reasonable amount of food, like 1,500 calories a day, to keep myself losing weight but also not starving, because if I got really hungry I'd just break down and eat a TON, every time.
So yeah, there's a lot of stuff to learn about what's good to eat and what's not, and how many calories exercise actually burns, and water retention, and how your period affects your weight loss, and on and on, and of course they don't actually teach any of this in high school, which is crap. If your parents are up for it, you might check out a Weight Watchers meeting near you on the weekend, which yeah is going to have a lot of old ladies like me, but usually a lot of younger women too, and they have a TON of info and support on what to do to lose weight, you really can't go wrong with them. And if you can't do that, I'd maybe check out a website like www.livestrong.com/thedailyplate, and learn more about how many calories you should be eating a day, and use it to keep track so you know you're not over or underestimating.
And finally, if you want to go to the gym, do it!! I know it's seriously hard to accept when you're in high school and the most self-conscious you'll ever be in your entire life, but SERIOUSLY, everyone else is SO self-absorbed in their own problems, they're really not going to give a crap about what you're doing. And if they do notice you? So what? You'll survive, I guarantee it. And it'd be way better than running by yourself at night, which is really a pretty good way to end up in some real trouble (I know, I've done it, and had some pretty sketchy run-ins with guys pulling up alongside me in their cars. Yeah, not good.)
So yeah, good luck! Sounds like you've definitely got the strength to change your habits and make this work! And you've definitely found a great resource here at 3FC, this community is awesome.
Exercise is part of the key. The other part is your eating habits.
You have to stop thinking of food as a "diet" because it means you'll eventually resort back to your old eating habits that got you at 160 lbs in the first place.
You need to find an eating lifestyle that fits you, that'll help you lose weight and that you know can continue on eating after you hit your target goal.
There's a lot of eating plans out there... My favorites are the Mediterranean Diet & French women don't get fat (the book is by Mireille Guiliano ... she has her own website too that you can google).
If exercising at the gym is too stressful for you, I recommend some dvds to help you exercise at home to drop those pesky pounds:
1. Jillian Michael's "Thirty Day Shred" & "No More Trouble Zones" & "Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism."
2. Jackie warner's "one on one training with jackie"
There's tons of different cardio exercises you can do
I'm just guessing, but you say you really work hard and then you stop. That makes me think that you are swinging to extremes. If you're on, then it's like less than 1200 calories and long hours on the exercise machines or DVDs. That's a perfect plan--for burnout! No one can sustain a program that is too difficult, that requires too much exercise and not enough food.
So, I'd suggest you look at some of the tracking programs on line, like FitDay or The Daily Plate or SparkPeople--there are lots out there. Choose one, and use the tools to set a reasonable goal of 1 to 2 pounds a week. 10 pounds in a week at your size is TOO FAST. Think in terms of months, not weeks. Exercise 5 or 6 days a week for an hour. Plan your foods, at least make sure you have the foods you need to have good meals and snacks. And then go to it. But take it easy. You'll be more likely to sustain your effort that way.
You can do this! But it certainly isn't easy, especially when you are trying to live a lifestyle that is different than everyone around you. We are surrounded by high calorie density food, and our society has become very sedentary. It all comes down to calories in / calories out. It's simple -- but never easy.
Maybe you're trying to change too much at once. Start with little things that will decrease calorie intake and increase calorie burn. If you can tip the balance by 500 calories per day, that's 1 pound per week. If you even just STAY THE SAME, it's an improvement over what you are seeing now. You have to accept that this is a slow process. And the only thing that will work permanently is to establish a healthy lifestyle, one that you can stick with for the long term. That means no fad diets, no extreme deprivation -- no quick fix. But if you approach it this way, you may not reach your goal next week, but probably you can by next year -- and stay there forever.
You have to make these changes for you ... not to look attractive for someone else or to please anyone. Who cares what anyone else thinks, one way or the other? If someone gives you a hard time for eating salad, just tell them that you LIKE salad, it's great stuff, what's wrong with THEM? For that matter, you don't owe them an explanation at all, it's your business.
Find people that support your weight loss program and that can help reinforce your efforts. Weigh in with them, work out with them. Lift each other up when you're struggling and celebrate the little victories. Weight Watchers is a very good program for this, but you can also create your own group. When you get discouraged, having an accountability buddy to talk to can make the difference between staying on plan and bingeing.
Above all, keep trying, don't give up! We all fall off the wagon sometimes, the difference is that successful "losers" get back on and keep going. Don't beat yourself up for being human, just start again. (You are probably the age of my kids, so listen to Mom).
I really agree with JayEll. Don't try to make big changes all at once it is just gonna be too overwhelming and set you up to fail.
I really think the key is baby steps. It can be frustraiting because it seems too slow, but I remember reading a quote that says something like a year from now you would wish you had started today! So taking your time and having success is better then trying to rush and failing.
Start small with adding in some healthier foods. If your mom was gonna let you join the gym she might be supportive to help with buying healthy foods. Switch to whole wheat bread and pasta if you can. Eat lots of veggies and fruit. Then once you start doing that start to learn portion control. Maybe start a food diary and/or count calories. Sparkpeople or thedailyplate are great sites for that. Then next add in small bits of exercise. DVDs are great. I am like agoraphobic so just taking a walk is so difficult for me. I love Leslie Sansones walking dvds. They are great for just starting out but there are tons of great dvds out there and you can mix it up and try new ones. and they are not that expensive either.
And I think the best part of taking baby steps is that every week or two you are adding in new small changes. So you always feel encouraged and rewarded that you did it!
Your body is NOT going to care about any particular individuals or jerks at the gym. Your body IS going to care if you put in the cardio/resistance workouts into losing weight.
If you have to, wear earplugs or just turn up your cd walkman or ipod
High school can be tough.hang in there.But, think positive.You are young.Very good time to change you lifestyle to a healthy balance of diet and exercise.Trust me, its a lesson I wish I would have learned at your age.Because I did not, I have spent 20 years yo-yoing.Welcome to 3fc.
The others are right -- if you think of your eating as a diet, that means that in your mind it's temporary. Instead, think of building a new way of eating (and moving) that's going to last you the rest of your life.
I know it's easy to be impatient, to see your results, like, NOW! But, truly, you do better when you think long-term. Instead of looking at how much weight you want to lose this week or month, or how quickly you want to get to your goal, think about where you'd like to be 5 years from now. You want to be maintaining a healthy weight while living a healthy lifestyle. Resolve yourself to the fact that the way you have been eating and living are not going to be possible in the future if you want to lose weight and maintain it.
Also, remember that motivation is an emotion. You cannot depend on it to stick around and carry you through. What you have to have instead is a plan -- a plan that you will work every day. There will be times you don't feel motivated. Guess what? You have to do it anyway to achieve the results you want. Motivation can get you started, and it's a great boost when it's there, but in the end it's a fickle friend. Eating right and exercising have to become things that you do because that's the right thing to do, not because you "feel like" doing them.
Can't get motivated.. Always "stop"
And it'd be way better than running by yourself at night, which is really a pretty good way to end up in some real trouble (I know, I've done it, and had some pretty sketchy run-ins with guys pulling up alongside me in their cars. Yeah, not good.)
