Losing steam...defeatist attittudes and staying motivated!
Hi chickies,
In mid-January I hired a personal trainer who I had a love/hate relationship with (who doesn't? lol), and saw a lot of results. Not on the scale, but in terms of inches... I lost 7 inches in the six weeks we worked together and saw leaps and bounds in my overall ability to do things like workout intensely for 45 minutes. I saw muscle growth, became way more in shape, and so on. It was awesome.
Well, DH and I couldn't afford the $600 to keep going so the trainer and I parted ways at the end of February and I've been working out on my own for a few weeks. I guess one of the biggest advantages of a trainer is the accountability...someone counting on you to show up and keep yourself in check during the times you're not meeting. Anyway, working out on my own has been going well until this week. I haven't run since Sunday, and today I got a new workout DVD so I popped it in... I think I made it through about 20 minutes before giving up.
I have been working long hours to meet a project deadline, so by the time I get off work, I can barely make it to the front door before passing out from exhaustion. And then there is dinner, and a sick husband, and errands to run, and.... you know, life.
I just feel like I'm losing steam. I feel so out of shape and like I can't do this for another 60 lbs. Then the perfectionist in me kicks in and says "well since I can't keep a workout schedule then I might as well thrown in the towel." I am discouraged that I couldn't even finish this video that's only 30 minutes long. Discouraged that exercising is turning into a chore instead of something I have come to enjoy. Something that seems impossible instead of something just a week ago, I could accomplish and feel proud of doing.
I guess I just need someone to tell me, yeah life gets in the way, but it's no reason to stop!!! How do you stay motivated when life throws you extra projects and overall exhaustion?
I think the very thing that need to happen is the person losing the weight has to get their mind right. If their mind is not right then all the trainers in the world will not help.
About 2 years ago I tried a personal fitness trainer that had a private studio. I went 3 times a week at $60.00 and hour for 6 months and I might have lost 25 pounds.
After a while (6 months) I realized it was not working so I quit and when I quit I gained 65lbs in the next year and a half (yeah I was eating up a storm! LOL)
I have thought about WHY this didn't work for me many times since then. I am not rich and that was a LOT of money for me to spend (approx $4,300.00) and not get any results.
I now know that the reason was because I went into it half heartedly.
I didn't keep a food diary, I didn't count my calories, I didn't know how many calories I was consuming a day. I didn't give a 100% to my work outs.
I thought the trainer would motivate me and hold me accountable. I thought the trainer would do everything FOR me.
I have since come to the conclusion that it is not motivation and accountability that will get you through... it is commitment.
Stick-to-itiveness you could call it. Also the realization that I WILL slip and fall off the wagon along the way.
It is commitment that will get you right back on track after you have slipped and ate something you shouldn't.
NOW my mind is right and I have NO DOUBT I will reach my goal. I have slipped a couple of times already but no matter I KNOW if I keep trying and never give up I will reach my goal of a healthy weight.
By my estimates I will reach this goal around Sept of this year. And then I will start my mantainance program because I also know the work is not over when I get down to the weight I want.
It's the eye of the tiger... you have to be hungry for it (pun intended)
I guess I just need someone to tell me, yeah life gets in the way, but it's no reason to stop!!! How do you stay motivated when life throws you extra projects and overall exhaustion?
I think the key is to just do the best you can sometimes. Thinking that we have no choices between "perfectly on plan with food and exercise" and "completely throwing in the towel" is a big mistake, but I think we've all made it at least once or twice! Is there any way that, for now, you can just stay on plan as best you can with your food and then fit in walking, maybe during breaks at work?
A dietician once told my mom that the key to eating healthy is to strive for being good at least 80% of the time and, if she were to do that, her health would be greatly improved. So that might be a place to start. I have had to fight against the type of discouragement that you're talking about from time to time and I have to constantly remind myself that sometimes it's OK to be "good enough" and not perfect. Any little improvement you make is good.
I started going to the gym in December. I have had a couple weeks where I only get to go 2 days a week - not my usual 4 or 5, or I miss my favorite classes, etc...
Its easy to get down and want to give up. And life DOES get in the way. Just don't worry about what is over and done with. You can't change what has already happened...But you can put one foot in front of the other until you reach your goal. Everytime you try to talk yourself into not going to work out, or giving up before your workout tape is over, remind yourself of that goal at the end. Remind yourself of all the work you've already done!
Just keep going!!! Don't Stop. Don't worry about yesterday...Just keep going!!!
I think the key is to just do the best you can sometimes. Thinking that we have no choices between "perfectly on plan with food and exercise" and "completely throwing in the towel" is a big mistake, but I think we've all made it at least once or twice! Is there any way that, for now, you can just stay on plan as best you can with your food and then fit in walking, maybe during breaks at work?
Yeah, that's the mistake I keep making... either I have to be perfect, or I throw in the towel. I am working slowly on realizing that not exercising for two days is not the end of the world, BUT at the same time it can't be a pattern that continues. The food has not really been an issue except on the weekends. I just seem to be someone that needs structure and routine, and when that gets messed up, I start to feel like it's all slipping out of my control.
First of all, do not give up !! Just modify..... I was about to give up last year too.. and ended up eating myself into oblivion over the 2008 holidays... but then GERD reared it's ugly head again and I just felt uncomfortable all the time. It was getting difficult to even roll over in bed.
So, I got on my knees and asked for divine intervention... and just decided to do it and do it for good this time around. I am nearly 66 and don't have a whole lot of years ahead of me. I started forcing myself t walk a mile every day in January. I missed a few days because of weather issues, but it helped. I took those walks as "Me and God" time... a date with Him if you will. There were some days when I really really did not want to go and could come up with a kazillion reasons not to... but I forced myself to just walk to the mailbox... then to the bend in our road.. then to the next road over, and now I am walking every day to the bridge down at the very end of or country lane.. a mile and a half evey day.. rain, shine, sleet, and snow.. (but not during storms involving lightning)
I altered my eating habits too. I take in a certain number of calories, and that's it. Plus vitamins and mineral supplements. No fad fat diet junk. Just good healthy food. Plenty of veggies and a minimum of simple carbs. So I keep away from diet sodas, sugar, white rice, potatoes. I eat fresh fruit, lean pork, fish, chicken and turkey... Any sausage or bacon I eat is made from turkey. The only bread I eat is Low fat, low calorie wheat bread. I loosly follow a basic WW plan... I don't count points, but I do keep a food diary at www.fitday.com and that really helps me a lot.
Sounds simple eh? Not really !! I have to keep cakes, pies, high calorie food around for him.... he has emphysema and needs a minimum of 3000 calories a day just to maintain his 150 lbs. of weight.. any less and his weight drops like a rock. He is nearly 6 feet tall... So, the temptations are there... I have gotten to the point where I can take a smidgen of cheesecake or whatever his is eating and just sample a tiny taste and be satisfied. This never happened before..... but I truly believe that when I enlisted God into helping me with food temptations, and actually trusted Him to be there to remove the desire to indulge in food that is wrong for me, that is what makes it work.
So don't give up... just modify... and find what works for you. Self discipline can be difficult, but not impossible...
Lose the "all or nothing" mentality and you'll lose weight
I would venture to say that a lot of us probably have that "all or nothing" mentality. I'm either really healthy or not healthy at all. I used to say.... "well, I already screwed up in not working out so I mind as well eat bad." What! That's crazy. That's a double-whammy instead of just a small mistake. But now, I started teaching myself that you can still have success even if you're not perfect in your attempt to lose weight .... as long as you're striving for improvement, you will succeed!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Pants
Yeah, that's the mistake I keep making... either I have to be perfect, or I throw in the towel. I am working slowly on realizing that not exercising for two days is not the end of the world, BUT at the same time it can't be a pattern that continues. The food has not really been an issue except on the weekends. I just seem to be someone that needs structure and routine, and when that gets messed up, I start to feel like it's all slipping out of my control.
Wow, great advice flatiron! You put into words exactly what I need to hear. Fat Pants I know you will get thru this. I have felt exactly as you have. It helps to hear how others have worked thru it. I have learned not to just give up but to keep on keepin on!
Losing steam...defeatist attittudes and staying motivated!
