How do I get myself out of this cycle?
 

So, I have no idea why I agreed to this, but I agreed to do a 24 hour fast with my friend, so she would be more likely to not cheat since we'd be accountable to each other. Nothing but water. It wasn't too bad, and I wasn't even really that hungry. Anyway, now, for the last couple of days, I can't bring myself to eat more than 600 calories a day. Like, I'm hungry and I want to eat, but I feel like if I eat, I'm going to gain a lot of weight since I did that fast. Yesterday I only had 50 calories. It was horrible. I know it's irrational, but I just can't seem to force myself to eat. What should I do?

Cammie -

I think it's time to get yourself to see an eating disorder specialist. You're quickly developing an unhealthy relationship with food. That, coupled with your unrealistically low goal weight, is a red flag that you need to stop and get treatment before the problem spirals more out of control.

I'd really encourage you to talk to a doctor, nurse, or mental health professional...they can point you toward resources to get you back on the right track.

What you are saying is sending up HUGE red flags for me. Huge ones. I really think that you need to see someone about a possible eating disorder before this spirals more out of control.

*hugs*

*hugs* Seek help. You really need to see a health professional.

I agree.Your posts have been concerning.I dont have any advice other than to see a specialist.Take care.

I want to congratulate you for being honest with us about what's going on with you. That is a huge step, because people having trouble with eating disorders often lie about it. :hug:

You know that you're going in the wrong direction, and I agree that you should consult a professional and get some help. There are many people recovering from this, and you could be one of them!

Obviously, don't do any more fasting. You know that was a bad idea--don't kid yourself. Second, you have to get back onto a schedule of eating. Remember, it's about planning your meals and snacks so that you take in a decent amount at each of them--not more, not less. If you follow your planned eating, you will feel more secure.

Please look for resources and get some assistance!

Here is just one place to start:

http://www.eatingdisorders.com/eatin...-recovery.html

:hug:

Jay

Thank you everyone for your support.

I know I probably should be talking to someone, but I'm a bit wary. I suppose you could call me paranoid. I'm in a HUGE custody battle for my son, who's over a year old now and I haven't seen since he was 3 days old and I'm worried that the other people will find out if I talk to someone, and will try to use it against me, because they've already tried doing that with my mental health info from when I was 14.

Maybe I can find a support group though and talk to them? Does it have to be formal treatment? Can I just talk to my Primary Care Dr. or does it have to be a mental health person? Thanks.

I would say, but I really know nothing, because of patient doctor confidentiality, they couldn't use this against you. It's not like you are forcing any other person on a lack of eating diet.

Hey! Yes, you could start with your primary care doctor. Be sure to tell her or him exactly what's going on with food and that you are afraid and need some support. And if the doc doesn't give you any referrals or help, go somewhere else! Keep looking! There are many support groups around.

I think it's very important that you get yourself some help now. I understand your concerns about your son, but I would say focus on you at the moment.

:hug:
Jay

Surely there has to be a phone number with an anonymous helpline.

Unfortunately, Cammie is right to be concerned about the information being shared. Yes, there is patient confidentiality but judges can order records as they see fit in relation to the case.

I've had eating issues as well as mental health issues, and I can see why you're concerned. There really is still a huge stigma surrounding both of these issues. When I went to see my family doctor about eating issues I had been having he told me that all girls my age did that kind of thing and put me on an antidepressant that made me sick. If you can, I recommend talking to someone who specializes in eating disorders, since they'll have the experience to treat it seriously.

Cammie, I have been through this. I was fortunate in that my employer at the time had an employee counseling program that was free for the first few sessions & completely confidential. They referred me to someone after that, whom I worked with for two years. (Not everyone needs to go as long as I did -- I had been suffering for some time with my problem before I accepted it & sought help.) You might also try looking into those resources.

I think the advice others have given to start with your primary care doctor is also quite sound. There are a lot of Internet and Yellow Pages resources that you can look into, depending on your region.

I'm glad you can talk about this. I was in denial when I had my problem. Also, the Internet didn't exist in the form that it does today. I felt completely alone & really strange & odd, in a bad way, as if no one for miles & miles around me had ever experienced those difficulties. I hope you do not feel that way & that all this technology can help you get the assistance you need.

Cammie - yes, you should talk to your primary care physician. You could also consider getting a dietician... a dietician would be able to work with you and create a meal plan for you that would keep you healthy, without it looking like a mental health issue. In fact, it might look really good to someone who might be analyzing your actions, because the knowledge you learn from a dietician could be used to also create balanced meals for your son, if you end up getting custody back. Either way, you really need help. If you spiral out of control, not only will your body suffer, but then your problem will become more noticeable. Nip it in the bud now, before it gets any worse. We all care about you here, and we want the best for you! :) :hugs: