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Confidence Issue

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Old 03-08-2009, 02:56 PM   #1
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Default Confidence Issue

I always see girls that are heavier then me but theyre fun, and everyone loves them, and i wonder why i cant be like that. and ive realized its because theyre confident. I'm not. Even in a group of people i know really well and am good friends with, i still do nothing but stare at the skinny girls and compare myself to them, then i get really insecure and i dont talk much and thats really just not me. im outgoing and fun but... i just lack so much confidence. and i just wonder how to get that back.
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Old 03-08-2009, 03:35 PM   #2
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1. Start small. In each social situation set a small, attainable goal.
2. Self-affirmation. Every day, look in the mirror and recite three things that you LIKE about YOU. Try to make them different things each day.
3. Visualization - lay back, close your eyes, and see yourself in a social situation where you are confident. How do you move, act, speak, laugh? Practice makes perfect.
4. Keep reminding yourself that confidence has absolutely nothing to do with size. Losing weight will not necessarily help you be more confident.
5. Act confident, even if you don't feel confident. Pretend you are, and behave accordingly. Eventually, that will translate to real confidence.

You may want to start in familiar social situations with friends you are comfortable with. In this way, you will feel more secure.

You CAN do this!
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Old 03-08-2009, 04:42 PM   #3
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Counting Down is right. Self confidence is something I always struggle with, alot of it has to do with that I'm very shy. But in addition to what CD mentioned, what helps is learning to love yourself as you are right that moment.

Along my weight loss journey, I learned that weight loss is more than calories in vs. calores spent. It's about rediscovering who you are, the type of person you want to be and becomeing mentally strong and knowledgeable about your body

As CD said, one situation at a time. One moment at a time. It gets easier! I promise!
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Old 03-08-2009, 05:48 PM   #4
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CountingDown gives some great advice. I'll have to try that as well.

I can definitely relate though. I do talk and am usually pretty sociable, but if there are a lot of thin people around, I feel out of place, and inferior in some way. I think we just have to work on it and eventually we'll get our confidence to where it needs to be. I heard the whole "fake it til you make it" has something to it as well.
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Old 03-08-2009, 05:49 PM   #5
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thanks, ill def. try those things. ill let you know how it goes of course
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Old 03-08-2009, 05:51 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Violin Jenn View Post
Along my weight loss journey, I learned that weight loss is more than calories in vs. calores spent. It's about rediscovering who you are, the type of person you want to be and becomeing mentally strong and knowledgeable about your body
YES! Absolutely agree.
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Old 03-08-2009, 05:52 PM   #7
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I heard the whole "fake it til you make it" has something to it as well.

Yes, I totally agree.
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Old 03-08-2009, 09:14 PM   #8
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I know how you feel, and I agree with the other posters on here. I too have trouble with groups of skinny friends, or in unfamiliar social situations. I've also heard that you have to 'find yourself' again as a thin person. I'm not quite there yet, but I admit I'm always up for some soul searching! Just keep on smiling!
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Old 03-09-2009, 01:28 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xpinkglowx2 View Post
I always see girls that are heavier then me but theyre fun, and everyone loves them, and i wonder why i cant be like that. and ive realized its because theyre confident. I'm not. Even in a group of people i know really well and am good friends with, i still do nothing but stare at the skinny girls and compare myself to them, then i get really insecure and i dont talk much and thats really just not me. im outgoing and fun but... i just lack so much confidence. and i just wonder how to get that back.
Hi pinkglow! A couple of thoughts:

Never, ever compare yourself to others when the outcome is you feeling bad about yourself. There will always be thinner, smarter, more successful, more educated, wealthier, etc. people than you. (Conversely, their will always be people with the opposite traits i.e., heavier, poorer, etc. so don't look down on them either.)

Always be YOU. Cultivate your interests and hobbies. Become good at what you have natural talents for and you will be interesting and fun to be around. Do lots of different things and meet lots of different people and remember that confidence comes from within...not how you perceive others or how you think they perceive you.

p.s. Don't forget to SMILE!
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