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Old 03-01-2009, 07:39 PM   #1
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Default Scared?



It's kind of weird... I just started this weight loss journey. I'm excited. I lost my first 10 lbs in two months. YAY! Go me. Been eating better, working out, etc. But the weird thing is...

I think about losing weight, and I'm SCARED. WHY??? Losing weight is a good thing. I'm worry like...what happens if I lose all this weight? Then what? Will I be treated better? Will I gain it back? A healthy lifestlye is an unknown for me. What do I expect?? It's comfortable being fat, emotionally, I mean. I'm keeping up with it...but at the same time, I can't shake that "what if" feeling.

Do any of you have this feeling? Or have had this feeling?
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Old 03-01-2009, 08:10 PM   #2
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Congrats on losing 10 lbs so far!!! I used to have that fear definitely, and I think it's fairly common. Losing weight is a journey that takes you to all sorts of new places, and that can be scary especially if you've never been there before. But don't let it stop you! We are in this together!
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Old 03-01-2009, 09:54 PM   #3
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I'm afraid if I think about it too much. I'm afraid of falling back into old patterns and gaining all the weight back and then some. But I agree wiht surferchick, I don't let it stop me and neither should you! In the end, it all be worth it!
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Old 03-02-2009, 09:11 AM   #4
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Congratulations on your decision to become healthy. I won't lie to you though and tell you it won't be mentally hard and that sometimes you'll face very uncomfortable situations. Do it for you...FOR YOU! Forget other people and focus on you!!

I've gained and lost weight a few times in my life, so I had a little idea what was in store for me down the road. Though this time I was bigger than ever, and have lost more than ever so the difference really is astounding, and to tell the truth sometimes embarrassing. Everywhere I go lately, I have been the center of attention...seriously. A complement here and there is nice, but I'm talking a crowd of people standing around me and almost celebrity (or circus side-show) like attention...and it's horrible for me. One of the reasons I wanted to lose weight was so that I'd NOT stand out in the crowd as the fattest chick in the room. I hated the snickers and stares...NOW, it's 10 times worse. I just have to keep telling myself that eventually I'll be old news...and the next freak of nature will take over...and pray to God that I can hang on and maintain! Don't get me wrong, I love how I feel and look, but knowing all eyes are on me, makes entering maintenance very scary.

I should also add that I live in a very small community were everyone knows everyone, it might be a lot different for a person who lives in a big city.

Last edited by Lori Bell : 03-02-2009 at 09:37 AM. Reason: To add
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Old 03-02-2009, 09:25 AM   #5
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When I really sit and think about it, losing the weight is definitely a scary thing! I worry that I'm going to get to a point where things are going to fall apart and I'm going to get back up to where I started. I worry that when I do lose all the weight that I want to lose, that I'm still going to be uncomfortable in my own body. I'm scared that, in the end, all of this is going to go to waste even if I do reach my goal weight.

Because all these doubts will creep up into my mind at different times, I just really try not to think about it. I want to focus more on the happier moments of losing weight and hope that that will carry me over the doubts.
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:23 AM   #6
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I agree.I also worry about gaining it back.Its like what they say about people with money.They never really enjoy it because they are so focused on losing it???crazy but when I think about it, its true.My friends with money always have their heads buried in the financial section of paper......As least I dont have to worry about the money thing.LOL.
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:27 AM   #7
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I do think it's common to feel that way. I sometimes feel scared or deprived. I think it helps to have mini goals and to take small steps. You gain a lot of confidence by making those small goals. It helps to break it down one day at a time. If I think too far ahead, I feel overwhelmed. I stopped eating sugar while back. Once I was off for a few weeks, I felt so great that I accomplished something.

Try the chicks up for a challenge forum and see if there's a challenge you can be a part of. I just started the 10,000 step challenge. I'm also challenging myself to not eat french fries until July.
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Old 03-02-2009, 10:54 AM   #8
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I think it's a natural tendancy to have some fear about losing weight, especially if you believe that we hold onto weight for reasons other than food.

I was scared. Being a thin person and a healthy person AND an active person all at once was a completely foreign concept to me. I couldn't wrap my mind around what that would be like. I think for me, it was fear of the unknown and fear of approaching what made me fat in the first place. I did grow up quite a bit from the process.

In the end, the elation of getting a grip on this weightloss business trumped the fear card
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Old 03-02-2009, 11:19 AM   #9
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I fear it. The only time I can remember being at a "normal" BMI was when I was a child / in my early teens. Obviously my body has changed and I have changed. I've seen a picture of me at around 200lbs and my looks have really changed, even with the weight gain - I think I look better, so it's scary to see what I'll feel and look like at 200, 170, and 150...

I'm also afraid of gaining it back and then some. But my weight loss has been slow and steady, which makes it easier to keep off. I am also doing life style changes. I calorie count and eat normal things my fiance would eat, too. I just tend to eat a lot of whole grains, lean meats, fruits/veggies. But if I want a piece of chocolate, I'll allow it, or some ice cream. I just eat it in moderation. As I've said before, I cannot tell myself I'll never eat certain foods again. But I can control how much of it I put in my mouth.
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Old 03-02-2009, 02:42 PM   #10
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Thanks for everyone's support. This is a new journey...the unknown.... but one that's in together.
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Old 03-02-2009, 02:46 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell View Post
Congratulations on your decision to become healthy. I won't lie to you though and tell you it won't be mentally hard and that sometimes you'll face very uncomfortable situations. Do it for you...FOR YOU! Forget other people and focus on you!!

I've gained and lost weight a few times in my life, so I had a little idea what was in store for me down the road. Though this time I was bigger than ever, and have lost more than ever so the difference really is astounding, and to tell the truth sometimes embarrassing. Everywhere I go lately, I have been the center of attention...seriously. A complement here and there is nice, but I'm talking a crowd of people standing around me and almost celebrity (or circus side-show) like attention...and it's horrible for me. One of the reasons I wanted to lose weight was so that I'd NOT stand out in the crowd as the fattest chick in the room. I hated the snickers and stares...NOW, it's 10 times worse. I just have to keep telling myself that eventually I'll be old news...and the next freak of nature will take over...and pray to God that I can hang on and maintain! Don't get me wrong, I love how I feel and look, but knowing all eyes are on me, makes entering maintenance very scary.

I should also add that I live in a very small community were everyone knows everyone, it might be a lot different for a person who lives in a big city.

I know this same feeling. I lost weight in 2002 or 2003, like 40 lbs or so. And this was when I was in hs, and then I went back and was treated so differently. Guys noticed me, people wanted to be my friends, etc. And although it may sound like a good thing, it scared me and worried me. I mean, suddenly because I was thinner, I somehow had more value as a person, than when I was heavier. I could see the fake-ness behind these motives and I just wanted to hide. Ironically, I gained more and more weight because I wanted to do just that, hide. It's ironic that someone who is bigger can hide in a cown among skinnier people....but that's what I wanted. And it's taken me a long time to get over that, to not want to gain weight because I want to hide.
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Old 03-02-2009, 02:47 PM   #12
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Red face great job

congrats on the weight loss. i'm just starting and i'm worried that this will beyet another diet that won't work. I've been working out and doing weight watchers and lost 8lbs. in3mos. I have a trainer for 1hr twice a week. i also work out alone 3 other times. I don't lose weight easily and have lots to lose. I hope and pray this works.
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Old 03-02-2009, 04:16 PM   #13
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I fear it yet I'm deeply excited by it at the same time - I love seeing the changes in my body as the weight drops off and the way my confidence increases.

I don't fear gaining the weight back once it's gone - the changes I am making to my lifestyle are sustainable and will stand me in good stead. I just guess that I fear that being at my goal weight won't be all I imagine it to be in my head, that I will get there and think "is this it?" and I fear that I won't be able to stop at goal and will want to keep going. I am not naive enough to think that getting to goal will change my life and make everything wonderful but I do think it will give me the confidence to change other things in my life that make me unhappy. I fear not having my weight as an excuse to hide behind for not doing particular things but I am also excited about pushing myself beyond my comfort zone and conquering my insecurities. Weight loss is most definitely a pschological as well as physical journey - embrace it - you learn so much about yourself along the way. It's worth it!!!

Good luck!
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Old 03-02-2009, 04:31 PM   #14
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Default I can relate!

I can definitely relate. I have also lost weight in the past and thought it would be great. It was - and not too scary (it's exciting) but you must prepare yourself for the attention and know how to ignore unwanted attention.

You will get people saying "Wow. You really look so much better" and then you start questioning what people thought of you before ... or you will get people gossiping about you b/c they are jealous. That unwanted attention caused me to want to gain a little weight to not be as noticible - but in the process, I gained it all back and then some. (It's so easy to lose that motivation)

My advice is to ignore any of the attention or comments that make you second guess what you're doing and how good you feel about yourself. As long as you are staying healthy and not getting too skinny, then just ignore those rude comments and don't let them get to you.

Good luck!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell View Post
Congratulations on your decision to become healthy. I won't lie to you though and tell you it won't be mentally hard and that sometimes you'll face very uncomfortable situations. Do it for you...FOR YOU! Forget other people and focus on you!!

I've gained and lost weight a few times in my life, so I had a little idea what was in store for me down the road. Though this time I was bigger than ever, and have lost more than ever so the difference really is astounding, and to tell the truth sometimes embarrassing. Everywhere I go lately, I have been the center of attention...seriously. A complement here and there is nice, but I'm talking a crowd of people standing around me and almost celebrity (or circus side-show) like attention...and it's horrible for me. One of the reasons I wanted to lose weight was so that I'd NOT stand out in the crowd as the fattest chick in the room. I hated the snickers and stares...NOW, it's 10 times worse. I just have to keep telling myself that eventually I'll be old news...and the next freak of nature will take over...and pray to God that I can hang on and maintain! Don't get me wrong, I love how I feel and look, but knowing all eyes are on me, makes entering maintenance very scary.

I should also add that I live in a very small community were everyone knows everyone, it might be a lot different for a person who lives in a big city.
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Old 03-02-2009, 04:36 PM   #15
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I think all change is scary. If you were taking a new job with a promotion and more money on the other side of the county, I'm sure you would be scared too. Even tho it would be positive change.
There will be changes in your life, and with that comes new choices, new responsibilities.
Have you figured out just what you are afraid of?
Are you afraid of failing or scared of success? Scared you won't be able to maintain? Scared of losing your habits, scared you will change when you shed your fat suit?
You will change. It will be ok, but fortunately the change will come slowly, and you will adapt better than you know.
best wishes
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