My self esteem has always been pretty low, mostly due to insecurities I think came about not only growing up as a chubby child and then fat adolescent, but also because of the loss I experienced. I had (and still have) some abandonment issues. The things that probably contributed the most was my biological father who split, wanting nothing to do with me, and my adopted father committing suicide due to the severe depression following his 2nd stroke. I was pretty self confident as a child, until midway through middle school, when the teasing started. I used to have many friends (people actually fought over whose 'best friend' I was), but as we got older I became a point of ridicule instead. People I thought were my bestest buds were talking smack about me behind my back to "fit in". Mama said I'd have days like this..
Anyways, my self esteem can be as low as a 0, or soar as high as a 10.
It all depends on the moment. It's also a little pick-me-up when people hit on me (which was a very recent development).
As far as how overweight I would rate myself, we'll go with an 8. I have a little over 50lbs to lose.
I took a class last year about women and the media. It helped me to value myself more, and to avoid the traps that the media and advertising agencies trick us into, making us feel 'less than' in order to keep us in a constant state of buying products while chasing the perfection they are peddling. At the end of the course, I was so angry!!! I canceled all my magazine subscriptions, stopped shopping wherever those stupid magazines were displayed by the checkout stand, and purposefully got TiVo so I could record my shows and fast-forward through the commercials. I'm even done watching a lot of TV that I used to watch.
I'm free from these ridiculous ideas, and I've stopped spending so much money! I'm almost completely out of debt!
For weight I'd say 1 or 2, as for self esteem it's so hard for me to say. Mentally I realize with the way I treat myself and the way I let others treat me I'd have to say about a 3. But when I'm in control and I pull myself together an 8. I don't really think my weight had anything to do with self esteem, more something I hid behind.
I don't think weight issues are correlated with lack of self-esteem so much as anxiety & tension, and strategies for soothing oneself. (Unless one can have so much self-esteem that one is never anxious or stressed out.)
