Everyone I know knows that I don't drink, or so I think--but even then, sometimes a friend will give me a bottle of wine as a gift. I am gracious about it. They are trying to do something nice.
Of course, I don't drink it, any more than you should eat the M&Ms just because they gave it to you. I often re-gift it if it's a nice wine, or I open it and give them some if they've brought it for dinner. If I have no use at all for it, then later I open the bottle and pour it out. No reason to keep it around.
With those friends, I make a point next time I see them to mention again that I don't drink alcohol. But I never insult their gift.
Jay, I think that next time I'm home I'm going to gently remind everyone that I don't keep junk food around because of the temptation factor. Getting rid of those M&Ms today was really hard... for a few moments I found myself calculating how many calories were in the bag to see if I could somehow "plan" for it. And by that I mean skip the day's meals and eat the M&Ms instead.
Yes, I know, I know...
Anyway, after unloading the candy on one of my colleagues, I called and thanked my family for the gift. Hopefully, when the M&Ms arrive next time, this won't be so hard.
First, on what to do with the candy - it's already at work. Put it in a dish in the break room or mail room. Others can enjoy and you'll keep it off of your desk.
As for why people don't "get it" - well, I can only speak from my perspective here, but I believe people are just trying to do something nice, and the bag of candy is "nice" for them. It's what they'd give to anyone they wanted to send a valentine's wish to. I doubt they're sending teeny bags to everyone but you, and sending a giant bag to tempt you, you know?
I try to take these things as what they are, a nice gesture, and recognize a couple of things: one, it is no one's job to keep me on-plan and avoiding temptation other than my own (this includes the people passing around brownies at the office and the people offering me another piece of cake at dinner parties), and two, just because I have self control issues does not mean others have the same issues or even realize that I have them. Someone with a "normal" relationship with M&Ms could probably have a few a day and leave it at that. I can't - I eat the whole bag - because I have a bad relationship with that food. But other people can't know that, or be responsible for that...that's my job.
Just my 2 cents!
This is the BEST comment that I have read concerning CONTROL/WILL POWER. Awesome!!
When my DH used to bring home chocolate bars as a treat I loved him for it. Not only because of the chocolate, but because it subtly said that he didn't care or police my eating...something that others had done many times. (You know, that old "you shouldn't be eating that stuff you could lose some weight.")
When I really started seriously on this journey I realized I couldn't expect him to know I wanted things differently unless I told him explicitly, don't bring home any more chocolate, I love it and I love him for doing it, but it made it harder to stay on plan. It helped that I could suggest a few other "treats" he could bring. (For me the little desert sun cocktail tomatoes have become more of an indulgence than the old chocolate bars!)
Why don't you both thank your niece for the wonderful Valentine, and explain that far more than chocolate you would love....(fill in the blank) I might suggest a framed picture of her...a homemade Valentine (she's getting to that age) a cute t-shirt/pair of socks...something other than a gift for the mouth. If they want to send you something to celebrate (which is wonderful) help them do so with some ideas.
Meanwhile, congratulations! It was hard, but you did it!
I'm sorry, I tend to junk the junk, or put it out minimally.
If its in the break room and I know it, I may go in and binge.
AND, if some other co-worker is struggling with candy issues, and weightloss etc. I don't want to be a part of her tempatation and maybe slipping.
So I have been quietly throwing out some things when I am worried about my weaknesses.
When I lost the first 10 pounds, my mother suggested we go out and splurge on a big special dinner (her treat!) to celebrate! Now mum is suffering from advanced dementia, so I didn't get upset, but I didn't take her up on the offer, we went somewhere that I knew I could handle the menu options ok.
But I do know people who have celebrated losses with over the top food treats. Maybe the candy senders want to reward you for your great weight loss, or they think your problems with food are over now that you have been successful in losing so much.
Yes, Mandalinn is right, it is our problem. But I also have realistic expecatations of myself. I don't go for coffee or tea with a friend to a cafe that serves the most decadent and fabulous desserts on the planet. I suggest we go elsewhere. I don't take my husband with a drinking problem to a kegger, or suggest we go drinking to celebrate a month with no booze.
But telling them, gently, maybe in the summer, not to send candy next valentines day, will be good for you, and for them, to understand.
Its so much easier to avoid temptation if the temptation isn't there in the first place.
sometimes people don't realize how much of a no-no it is for us to have that kind of thing hanging around. for them, when they are trying to eat healthy, having a bowl of m&m's around isn't a big deal. for us, it's like a bowl full of evil that just... won't... stop... STARING!
lol, it's not that they are not trying to be supportive, they just haven't dealt with it like we have.
My boyfriend gave me some chocolates for Valentines day, which was very sweet of him. It doesn't upset me in the least because he doesn't know I'm trying to get into shape and lose some weight (since I've only started a few days ago!). I'll have 1 or 2 of the truffles and the rest will go to my work, it'll be gone in 5 minutes flat!
There are some testing times where you are supposed to take a stubborn stand to resist the temptations. You are now on a similar kind of situation . Just take a firm stand and don't let down yourself emotionally.
Well I would probably eat one or two M&Ms, and give the rest away. Pretty simple.
But I don't think they meant to upset you by sending them.
I mean, I still give people candy who are dieting, when I know what they are going through. You just don't think about it all the time, and of course a three year old doesn't.
They sent it to you because they love you. Call them, thank them, give it away.
Yup I agree whole heartedly. Instead of being annoyed that you have family that would send you candy, turn it around and be thankful that you have family who think about you and care about you.
There are many, many people in the world who do not have anyone that cares about them, you are very fortunate!
Since you were at work it seems obvious just to give it to coworkers.
And I wouldn't tell your niece you didn't eat it, I would just say thank you SO much for thinking about me!
ok well me id probably eat a few m&ms just for a treat....you can always save them for company..or something like that..and 2 i dont know why people do it to..like they dont understand that were trying too lose weight insted of gaining it..but anyways...Hope it helps....
