With the support of 3FC, I lost 60lbs two years ago. Last year, after 2 deaths, parental health problems, and a couple huge set backs- I gained back 30lbs. It wasn't as if the weight crept back up on me... rather... I felt like I was being pushed forward with my heels dug in. All at the same time- pushing the weight on my self and resisting. I was really down, I was hurting, I felt misunderstood, and when I cried I didn't feel any relief. I'm 22 and up until 2008, I've never had mass loss... or a year like that. I stopped doing basic care on myself and just let go and here I am now, wanting to climb out of this hole and I know I can't do that by digging.
What I want is an unwavering resolve. What I want is to have faith. Yet, every time I get knocked down I have problems getting back up. When I lost my first big chunk of weight, I didn't have a support system and I worked hard to maintain my independence. To motivate myself. For some reason this time... I really want a support system, I want my friends and family to help me or carry me... or make it easier for me. When did I get the whinny? I haven't posted here in a long time, neglecting the only constant system of (get healthy) support anywhere in my life.
Enough on what I'm not doing and what I am experiencing. I started a blog on 3FC specifically for getting myself together and working on small steps. Like making sure I take care of myself daily... and not neglecting my basic needs because I'm sad. I also plan on checking 3FC to get whatever support I can get, I've found in the past giving support has been equally helpful. And finally, I've had the most success with calorie counting through myplate and fitday and want to try that again. My faith in myself is wavering, this is a painful beginning, and I'm not quite able to stay optimistic...but I'm trying.