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Old 02-03-2009, 10:57 PM   #1
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So I've got this mental roadblock I want to clear. On Sunday I mentioned that I'd started an exercise journal to some of my friends. When they actually showed interest in wanting to read it part of my brain did a 180 and ran screaming for cover. Apparently my rationality circuit shorted out.

I pawned off some answer about it being very boring and not worth a read. For some reason it's easy to let strangers who I've never met read my journal, but to let people I know read it? Gasp! No! Why on Earth does the idea bug me so much? My friends will actually see the results of my hard work just by looking at me eventually, but letting them see the journey just gives me the willies.

Has anyone else experienced this?
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Old 02-03-2009, 11:06 PM   #2
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I know how you feel! I think it's simply because online no one knows you- there's a limit to how truly accountable you are to the internet. That isn't the case with friends. They actually have facial expressions and opinions that matter and can really keep track of you. I've told the whole world it seems about my regain the last few months, but I've discussed this with very few people that are close to me "in real life".
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Old 02-04-2009, 12:20 AM   #3
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I'm just amazed that anybody would actually ask to read somebody's journal, exercise or otherwise. I would just assume that is personal and never ask such a thing. If they wanted to share, they would without being asked.
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Old 02-04-2009, 12:24 AM   #4
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Cantrip, I completely identify with you. When I first started my new life I told no one--except on an anonymous forum (the one I went to before 3FC). I could never fathom just telling someone that I had decided to basically reinvent myself and change my life. The wait and see approach is a jewel in my book.
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Old 02-04-2009, 12:43 AM   #5
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I did mention to them is was an internet journal. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have asked otherwise. After all I did put it out there where potentially anybody with internet access could read it.

Part of me is pleased that they showed interest and feels like a goon for deflecting that interest. Another part of me is hiding under the bed with the dust bunnies in fear of showing this side of myself to my friends.

I'm just so serious about getting fit and down to a more healthy weight, but in day to day activities I'm a very light hearted non-serious type. I think it's probably fear of not being taken seriously.
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Old 02-04-2009, 07:29 AM   #6
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Maybe you just don't want to have "those discussions" in real life. If your friends read your journal, they may want to comment face to face. So I guess it's whether you want to keep your journal open to the world but anonymous, or want to share this stuff with your friends. Makes sense to me that you would hesitate until you think about it.

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Old 02-04-2009, 09:10 AM   #7
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What I share here at 3FC is EXTREMELY personal. That's as close to a blog as I'll ever get. I would never want to share this stuff with people that I "know" in my every day life. I could never look them in the eyes. Too emotional. Too raw. Too "private".
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Old 02-04-2009, 10:06 AM   #8
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hehehe Once when I left my food journal out and my sister in law (who is my VERY best friend and share EVERYTHING with) picked i tup i thought i would DIE! i don't know why!! like i thought she would laugh or judge or read my personal thoughts... whatever! after a couple mins i calmed down, didn't flip and like grab it away from her and she just put it down and didn't say a word. she was just curious. but i think if anyone but her or my hubby asked to see it i would really freak out! haha

to me it's really personal, it's one of the things i think about most in a day. and i jot down thoughts, feeling, fears, achievements, downfalls... everything! from time to time. so in a way it's my diary. who would you let read your diary??
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Old 02-04-2009, 10:18 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinrobin View Post
What I share here at 3FC is EXTREMELY personal. That's as close to a blog as I'll ever get. I would never want to share this stuff with people that I "know" in my every day life. I could never look them in the eyes. Too emotional. Too raw. Too "private".
Gosh yes. Things that I've discussed on this website re: food addiction and abstaining from certain foods have been used against me as gossip fodder. I won't make that mistake again! Some people do not and will never understand.
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Old 02-04-2009, 10:28 AM   #10
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I've never encountered that, but I think it would kinda creep me out too. For some reason, everyone knows I'm currently losing & have lost 50 lbs... But to let them see how I do it? I think that people who don't do this would think it's strange to see the way that some of us eat... Cause lets face it, most of the population does not watch what they eat or eat anything type of diet close to what we all eat! My recently started working out with my boyfriend, and it still creeps me out that he sees me work out! I feel fat & out of place at the gym and don't him to see me work out! But I think that's a fear I have to get over....
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Old 02-04-2009, 11:56 PM   #11
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It's reassuring to know that so many people have anxieties similar to mine. Thanks for the replies.

The two of my friends who showed interest are both themselves quite overweight. I am kind of wondering if it's a sideways attempt at looking for help getting started. I would just send them links to 3FC, but if someone had done that to me before I decided to get active about losing weight I would have probably cried. I think I might just bite the bullet on this and let them read my journal if they want.

Edit: extasee, I feel the same way about having someone watch me workout. My husband offered to watch and cheer me on one day and I nearly snapped his head off. I have since lightened up about it somewhat.

Last edited by Cantrip : 02-05-2009 at 12:00 AM.
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Old 02-05-2009, 12:15 AM   #12
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I guess I can't relate because I don't know if it is because I'm getting older or maybe when I got as big as I am now I stopped caring but I just don't care what anybody else thinks.

I care what I think about me! NOT what others think about me!

I pulled out my food journal a few weeks ago and showed my sister and she thinks it shows how dedicated I am this time to lose weight.

I remember when I was a teenager it mattered SOOOOO much what my friends thought about me. I wanted to be "COOL" and that was all that mattered to me.

If I left my exercise or food journal out I probably would take exception if someone just picked it up and flipped it open and started reading. Not so much for what they might read but just for being so dang nosy with MY personal property.

And I don't think anyone that knows me would read my private food log and joke me about it, not about trying to lose weight and save my life. I think most people who know me know that would be crossing over into disrespect and anyone who knows me knows I am a nice person ... until you disrespect me because I will stand up for myself in a heart beat.
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