I'm at a strange place in my weight loss/health journey and I would appreciate any advice anyone would like to give. About 3 1/2 years ago I weighed 320 pounds and through serious exercise (60 minutes of hard cardio, six days a week) and weight watchers, I got down to a size 12/14 and had a loss of 140 pounds. However, the down side of that is that I never reached my Weight watcher goal and stagnated at 30 pounds above my goal for nearly a year before I burned out completely and quit going to meetings and following the program.
The problems that led me to quit were boredom with exercise, lack of progress as far as the scale was concerned, and a total obsession with the fact that I had not reached my goal weight of 150. I simply could not appreciate the fact that I had lost nearly half my body weight, and could only see that I had not reached my goal. At the same time, I had a lot of bad luck with bad jobs and marital problems which brought my old friend depression back. All these factors led to my gain of at least 70 pounds (probably more but I don't want to weigh myself) in the past year. Losing weight was not the answer to my life's problems that I wanted it to be, and that disappointment was pretty hard to take.
My question is this: How does one move on after having had a great deal of success but avoid the pitfalls of scale obsession and burn-out? I really don't want to return to weight watchers because I rejoined 3 times last year and I just can't deal with meetings and weigh-ins any more. I struggle with a lot of anger at myself for gaining this weight, and yet my tendency when I feel angry at myself is to eat. Twisted logic, I know. More than anything, I want to feel the satisfaction of being strong and have the knowledge that I can easily carry out whatever physical tasks come my way.
Any input will be greatly appreciated...