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Old 12-27-2008, 02:22 PM   #1
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Default Inlaws against me, said I was doing DRUGS!

Well, like most of us we all got together with our families this Holiday and so when my boyfriend, my son, and I went over to his side of the families 'get together' I thought everything was fine and we were all having a good time, but then on the way home my boyfriend told me that he had received a text message from his sisters girlfriend and was asking if I had been doing drugs or something because there was no way that I could loose this much weight this fast. That it was impossible that it was from diet and exercise and that I'm a tweaker and such...
So my boyfriend confronted her about it, and then apparently his whole family thinks I'm doing drugs and that I'm a bad person and such, and a bad mom...

This just really makes me want to break down and cry... They haven't paid any attention to how every time we go out and eat, I eat 'healthy' and about all the time how I say I'm going to the gym and such... Now they all just accuse me of doing drugs!

It makes me almost want to give up, to know that if I loose any more weight then they will just say these things even more... I find myself telling each and everyone one of them off in my head, but of course I can't do it in person...

I almost want to cry right now...

-Just wanted to vent a little-

Anyone else having 'family' issues like this?
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Old 12-27-2008, 02:32 PM   #2
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You keep your head up!! You know that you are doing the right thing for your health and that is all that matters. Family's can be your downfall if you let them. Your online family (me) think you are wonderful.

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Old 12-27-2008, 02:34 PM   #3
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That's ridiculous.... I'm sorry you're going through that. Unfortunately I don't have any advice. I guess all I can say is don't give up because of them. You're doing this for yourself, and they're not going to change their mind about thinking you're doing drugs if you give up right....


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Old 12-27-2008, 02:40 PM   #4
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Ignore them and most certainly don't change your new healthy lifestyle.

Be serene in the face of that foolishness -- YOU know and your boyfriend KNOWS how hard you've worked and that's what matters. You should be very proud of your accomplishments!

The best revenge is a life well lived.
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Old 12-27-2008, 02:48 PM   #5
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Just remember you are with your boyfriend for a reason, not his family's approval.
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Old 12-27-2008, 02:52 PM   #6
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that's awful! Don't give up ... you can't control what others think. If they have decided to be a bunch of jealous and judgemental dimwits let them sit in that, while you slink along getting slimmer
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Old 12-27-2008, 02:53 PM   #7
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Ignore them....I know it's hard to do but in all honesty it sounds like jealousy.

Keep doing what you are doing and do not stop!

"The most exciting, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."

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Old 12-27-2008, 03:32 PM   #8
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You are not in this world for them you are in it for YOU!

Get healthy, look great, become successfull time will show them the true you and if they have any humanity in them... they will feel ashamed for judging you and jumping to conclusions.

You have lost a lot of weight and that is a great accomplishment you should feel good about that, I know I will when it is my time!

So hold your head up and be proud you have every right to be!
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Old 12-27-2008, 03:41 PM   #9
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You have made such great progress and are an awesome example of the benefits of healthy living for your son. Don't let their negativity and ridiculous allegations (as hurtful as they are) keep you from reaching your goals.
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Old 12-27-2008, 03:55 PM   #10
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You know, my mother (the truly toxic person she is to everyone around her)was against my hubby from the beginning. One of the best decisions I have made from the beginning is to #1. Ignore any comments from her as to not engage her or add fuel to the fire. #2. Tell my husband NOTHING about the comments.

Maybe in the future you and your boyfriend can agree to do this for each other.

"Be who you are, say what you feel. Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter." --Dr. Seuss
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Old 12-27-2008, 04:05 PM   #11
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This kind of wild gossip happens in a lot of families, and often even as people are making the crazy comments and speculation, they know it's unlikely that it's "really" true. I mean, if they really thought it was true, wouldn't they be attempting some sort of "intervention" of one kind or another. I mean, if they truly believed that you were a drug abusing, neglectful mom - then why aren't they DOING something about it instead of just wagging their tongues? - it's because they know it isn't true, but (especially if they have weight to lose and aren't doing anything about it, or aren't as successful as you) it's a lot more fun to speculate that you're doing something crazy to get the results that you are (otherwise, they might have to admit that part of the reason they're not succeeding is that they're not putting in as much effort).

There isn't much you can do to dissuade them from their bizarre theories, and sadly the more you would react to it, the more fun they would likely have with it.

I would also strongly suspect that "the whole family" is a gross exageration - who said this? Your boyfriend's sister or his sister's girlfriend? And isn't it possible that when your boyfriend confronted her (whichever her, it was) that she threw out an "everyone knows" to defend herself or her girlfriend rather than being truthful. Also, who started the speculation on the drug use? It's possible that whoever first came up with the theory assumed everyone agreed with him/her because no one reacted strongly enough to disagree (and even if that part is true, it doesn't mean that their lack of a strong response meant agreement, it could have also just been shock at the suggestion).

I find it hard to believe that "the whole family" could seriously believe any of this about you, and yet would be willing to "play nice" to the degree that you would suspect none of it. Someone is telling very big fairy tales, and I expect that almost everyone in the family knows it.
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Old 12-27-2008, 04:05 PM   #12
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Just a wild guess here, but do they have problems with obesity themselves?

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Old 12-27-2008, 04:16 PM   #13
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I agree that your boyfriend should have defended you and
that he shouldn' t tell you about these negative remarks in the future. I think he was just too shocked this time.
In fact, he can practice laughing it off.
like "ha ha, ho ho, you must think that eating properly and exercise couldn't do this for her cause you can't do it yourself? ha ha, my girlfriend is just so wonderful, can't believe you would make up such a wild story, don't you know anything about weight loss?"
I'm sure he was just too shocked about the whole thing.
poor guy.

zen and the art of weight loss, finding the true path of en-lighten-ment

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Old 12-27-2008, 04:19 PM   #14
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I'm not sure why your boyfriend even had to tell you that. He knows how you have lost the weight, right? So why didn't he just stand up to them and say no...I have seen her lose it through dieting and exercise and you need to stop saying ugly things about the person I love.
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Old 12-27-2008, 04:30 PM   #15
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Like others have said, the first thing I thought of here was the big, green-eyed monster called 'jealousy' ... could it be that sister's girlfriend was a tad jealous of brother's new girlfriend? Could it be they were jealous of you and your weightloss? I'd bet on it ...

The wisest advice was already given ... never share bad comments others make about your SO becuz, unwittingly, you are passing along the insult; which only results in more hurt feelings. My father once said, 'What do you care what idiots think or say? And anyone who would believe them, you don't really want in your life anyways!

Your DB can quietly go to his family and assure them that this gossip started by a NON-FAMILY MEMBER, btw ... was uncalled for and rude; and that he expects more respect in the future, if HE wants to, simply becuz it's his family! Then let it go ...

As for you ... IGNORE HER! Do not dignify her ignorance with a response! You must have really impressed her to send out a claw like that (meow).

You are doing great, so keep on, keepin' on; 'cuz that's the best revenge of all ...
= 10 lbs ...
115 lbs + 16 Single Sizes Gone Forever! -- 100 lb tumor = ONEDERLAND!
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Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 12-27-2008 at 04:31 PM.
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