[Jadeybaby]

Hi everyone, I haven't been around a lot due to some personal difficulties that I haven't so far dealt with very well which has led me to gain some weight. I went back to comfort eating which was precisely the wrong thing to do and as of today I weigh 161lbs and I am disgusted that I have allowed myself to gain this weight. I need to stop this now before it gets even more out of control.

During the end of August/beginning of September my parents told me that my Granda's cancer was really bad and he was close to the end. I live 450miles away from my parents and the rest of my family as I am at Uni and I didn't want to annoy my friends about my worries so I felt so alone. I've never felt that alone before. I thought being 20 and more mature than other times I binge-ate in the past and having been in control of my food issues for a while beforehand I'd be able to deal with it but I couldn't so I turned to food.

My Granda died on the 16th September and I was so upset but at the same time relieved because he had been suffering with cancer for so many years. He was only 67 but since his late 50s he was ill which was so sad to see because he was so healthy before.

Anyways, I went to the funeral and after that the binge eating got worse and now I'm finding it hard to stop overeating. My portion sizes are bigger than before and I'm finding it so hard to get started on my plan again. It feels like I am back at square one.

This week I have started going back to the gym which I'm enjoying but it's the food. How can I best get back onto my plan now? It just feels hopeless.

Sorry about the rant, but I don't think my housemates would understand and I don't want to talk to my parents because my dad was distraught when Granda died and I don't want to upset him.

[JayEll]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather's long illness and death.

I'm sure it has been hard for you to deal with. Times like this are where it's easy to revert to habits that aren't the best--and it sounds like this is what you've done.

You should feel free to talk to your parents about your feelings. They will understand, even though they are grieving, too. And you might find that your housemates understand more than you think they would, especially if you talk one-on-one.

You know that food won't fill the empty space left by your grandfather's death. So one strategy you might use is to make sure you have weight-friendly foods in your house that are just for you. I don't know how you do foods in your living situation, but you should be able to keep your own snacks, at least, so that others don't eat them. And then turn to these foods in serving-size quantities when you want to eat. At the same time, try to stay away from the junk foods that can only make things worse.

I know you know these things--I just wanted to reinforce it for you.


Jay

[Gela]

Jadey I'm glad you've come back for support. I'm so sorry for your loss. A few months ago I was in a similar situation. My grandma died in April and that was around the time when I stopped checking in here. I was sad and there was a lot of family turmoil and I regained 17 pounds. I realized quickly that I lost control again and was stuffing my emotions with food. Looking back, I wish I had just talked about my feelings more.

Jadey be glad you have realized you are emotionally eating. That is a huge step. You are putting on the brakes now and that's all that matters. Talk about your grief with your family. Of course your parents are sad but they need someone to talk to too. Talk to your friends too. I know it's hard to talk about certain things with your friends but it may help. Consider journaling your feelings when you want to overeat.

Again it's a good thing you are getting back on track. Learn from me. In my early 20's I went through so many changes including losing my other grandma. I honestly had no clue what emotional eating was. I knew of course I was eating too much and I didn't make the emotional connection. In a few years I gained over 80 pounds. If I had known then what I know now I would have sought some support or help (like 3FC). Just take it one day at a time, one meal at a time, stack up those good days and you'll be feeling better soon

[bargoo]

So sorry for your loss. But you are back again and ready to start over, good for you!

[jahjah1223]

Welcome back . sorry to hear about your grandad

[Jadeybaby]

Thank you guys for the replies, I am so sorry for not responding sooner, Uni has been crazy at the moment and I am so busy! Everything you all said has really helped me clear my mind and focus on what I need to be focusing on, I am so grateful to you.

Since my last post I have managed to lose 3lbs and am down to 158lbs which is OK I guess and I hope to be at 152 by Christmas.

I hope you're doing well

[PrettyPaula]

hey jade

i lost my nana a month ago and she had also been very poorly with cancer for some time. ive been away because of all this and ive just finished uni so i feel your lonliness!

I know that no-one can say anything to make you suddenly snap into being on plan again, the only thing i can say ive been doing is taking one day at a time, arguing with myself probably 5-6 times a day to make the right choice and it gets tough sometimes but i am determined to lose this weight once and for all and im sure you are to,

if you need a uk buddy, let me know x

[JulieJ08]

I am so sorry about your grandfather, and I am so glad you are back!

[EZMONEY]

I am sorry for your loss Kiddo

[Lainey2]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is a long journey, so one step at a time. You've done the best thing for yourself by coming back here for support. You can do this.

[Jadeybaby]

Thanks a lot you guys

Paula, I am so sorry for the loss of your nana