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Old 11-24-2008, 06:50 PM   #1
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Default Feel like a failure...

It's been my dream to be a lawyer since I was 8 years old and wanted to be a Supreme Court justice or travel around the world writing international peace treaties. I ended up not doing as well as I would have liked on the LSAT in November, so I had to cancel my score. I take them again in two weeks and I feel so blah about it. I have barely bothered to study. I haven't even finished my applications for law school yet--due in two weeks! I'm finding it impossible to write--this "blah" is taking over everything I do. I haven't been able to get a job since coming back from working abroad, and I've been eating my stress/feelings of worthlessness like crazy. For dinner I had 6 pieces of cheese and chocolate chips. I rolled the chocolate chips IN my cheese. I didn't even like it. I've managed to make it to the gym 3 times a week, but I'm a lazy bum once I'm there. To make things worse, I have my first high school reunion next week. I will be going unemployed, single, unsure of getting into law school, and fatter than I've been in a long time. I went to a fancy-pants private college, and all of my friends are doing amazing things with their lives. I'm not doing anything with mine.

Phew. That was a really long post. I just wanted to get it off my chest somehow.

But I want to do something positive, and take actionable steps to get out of this "blah."

Does anyone know of any good websites (or has ideas themselves) of meals that I could plan for the week all in one day so I don't end up eating the cheese/chocolate chip thing again? I just need something brainless, but healthy!
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Old 11-24-2008, 07:15 PM   #2
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You may be suffering from depression - something to consider. Regardless, though, it sounds like you need a plan...something that will help you keep your dates/schedule together and your meal plan on track.

What I would recommend - draw out a plan for this week. Plan breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. You can pick easy things if you want...nothing wrong with having a microwave meal or a simple salad. But plan out every meal. Then head to the grocery store, buy what you need to make those meals, and you'll be set for the whole week.

You can do the same, btw, with the LSAT studying. Draw out the week ahead. Mark specific blocks for studying, and treat them like appointments. If you want to bring that score up, you're going to have to work at it.

Best of luck!
Goal Met - 10/28/07 - My Progress Picture Collage - My Goal Story - Where Have I Been?

No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch!

Maintained Oct 2007-Sept 2011, then got pregnant. Our baby boy was born in May, 2012...now to lose the baby weight!!
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Old 11-24-2008, 07:56 PM   #3
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Sometimes all the wonderful accomplishments we do pale when we have to jump through all the gatekeeping "hoops" our culture imposes on the job market. You are applying for law school, you are in line to take the LSAT again (like so many others) and you have made it through college this far! Plus, you have lost 17 pounds so far! By all measures, you are a success, and you will pass the LSAT and move on. They make those tests hard to winnow out those who don't want to, or don't have the aptitude to go into law. Perhaps you need a rest? Is it critical that you take the test right now? Can you wait a few months, study at your leisure, feel very prepared and then take the test? Life is about the road, not the destination! And, there are many ways to get there. When the "road" is making you so unhappy it is time to evaluate your path!

And, the reunion...I remember my first reunion. There were people there who had gained lots of weight and people who had lost lots. All I was paying attention to, though, was talking to my old high school sweetheart and also my best friend, whom I had not seen in a few years. Yes, I am sure there were people there who would pass judgement on me, and probably did for one reason or another, but I am so glad I went. In the end, life is about the relationships we have and the love we share. Even though you have apprehensions, I hope you go. Once you let your weight, or any other percieved "short coming" keep you from an experience, you can never get it back.

College is so stressful and exhausting, especially at the end with thesis papers due and everything changing. It is natural to feel disoriented during a time of transition, but it will pass. Try to be good to yourself and by all means, eat healthily. Good food nurtures your body and your mind!
And, as Mandalinn said, there are lots of ways to eat simply but well. Having the foods on hand is one way to make sure you are eating well. Go shopping! Eat a healthy meal out with a friend. Have a pot luck; I used to love them when I was young and single. My friends and I would make a lot of one thing each, split the leftovers and eat great meals for a few days. Also, a great strategy is to make multiple portions of a healthy meal, freeze it in portions and have your own, home made frozen foods. And, you can't go wrong with a big pot of soup with lots of veggies in it. There is really nothing wrong with soup for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Remember, this too shall pass! You will move on in life and you will come back into the fullness.

I have made it to onederland!
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Old 11-24-2008, 08:03 PM   #4
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I agree with Manda - MAKE A PLAN. Sometimes just doing something proactive like that will give you a boost and make you feel better.

I would also seriously investigate the possibility that you're suffering from depression. Could you make an appointment with your doctor and talk about it? A few years ago I hit a period of serious depression for a while ... same type of symptoms you're talking about; I couldn't focus, I couldn't get motivated, I couldn't get my act together, even when I did get off my butt I wasn't productive, etc. I wound up taking Welbutrin for about a year and it made a HUGE difference.

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Old 11-24-2008, 09:16 PM   #5
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Sounds like you have the classic overachiever's syndrome. Focus on one thing at a time, and focus on you! Your friends successes do not diminish your own, and if you put enough time into it, you will eventually get the score you want on your LSATs.

Started July 1, 2012 @ 290lbs
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Old 11-25-2008, 08:06 AM   #6
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To get out of your 'blahs' just eating better could help. To help keep myself on track and make the day-to-day things and planning a little easier, I stock up on Lean Cuisine meals and use them whenever I need something quick or just don't feel like weighing, measuring, and calculating my calories. I also keep bagged lettuce and baby carrots on hand to easily make salads. Making a big pot of your favorite soup or chili is also something that can be done to have on hand for several days. Soup and a salad is a great meal!

You can even make scrambled eggs ahead and keep them in the fridge to microwave later. Try adding some onions, carrot shreds, low-fat mozzarella cheese, fat-free turkey or some beans. Planning ahead for those "I don't have time or want to cook" days is part of the key to staying on plan and not resorting to chocolate chips and cheese

You have come so far to even qualify for the LSAT. I know how easy it is to get discouraged, but you know that you can do it. We're all rooting for you!

As far as high school reunions go, I've found that most everyone has the same thoughts-those "I'm a failure-they're all successful" thoughts. And, usually everyone's just doing what they need to be doing at the time. Almost everyone's going to be fatter than they were when you graduated. And, the most important thing to remember is that the people who were your true friends then will still be your true friends now and there's no point in worrying about anyone else!

for you. See your doc if you think you may be truly depressed, but just eating better could help more than you think.

7/18/12 became wheat- and dairy-free @ 235 pounds
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Old 11-25-2008, 09:46 AM   #7
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I have become best friends with Weight Watchers Lean Cuisine meals since this diet started! They are awesome, very tasty, low in calorie & take only 5 minutes to prepare if you toss it in the microwave. I come home from school 2 nights a week at 9 so it's too late to "cook" something healthy for dinner. I always eat these meals on school nights & I usually eat them for lunch the 3 days I'm not at school in the evening. They fill me up & keep my calorie intake down so I continue to lose. :-)
I Started my healthy life-style on 8/14/08

Last edited by Extasee58865; 11-25-2008 at 09:46 AM.
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Old 11-25-2008, 09:50 AM   #8
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I'm sorry you are feeling down. I would say to get moving--the more the better and get some whole foods, lots of water and fish oil in your body for the quickest turnaround I know about.

Where were you living abroad? You are applying to law schools and have just returned home from X. I wouldn't say you have anything to be ashamed of whatsoever! You still have a few days left to decide what fabulous outfit you are wearing to your reunion and how you will do your hair!

ETA: For healthy and quick I really like the bagged salads in the produce section at the store. You may want to get your own dressing though because the dressing is usually BAD! I also like using the artificial crab meat (Polluck fish) for a snack. I also like the pre-sliced cole slaw--cabbage blend OR the broccoli slaw blend and just adding Fat-Free miracle whip and some diced apples to it. Yogurt, raw almonds, black olives, avocados, fresh fruit are all good to have on hand. I love WASA crackers with Laughing Cow light cheese. I also keep good red wine and have a glass a couple of times a week. Fish and shrimp are also really easy to fix if you eat them.

Good luck and let us know how it's going.

"Be who you are, say what you feel. Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter." --Dr. Seuss

Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 11-25-2008 at 09:56 AM.
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Old 11-25-2008, 10:03 AM   #9
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The food you are now eating is giving you no nutrition. just changing to healthy nutritious foods will make a big differance in your mood. Concentrate on the good things you have accomplished and know you are still capable of doing great things. If you are pressed for time keep some Lean Cuisine Meals on hand or Smart Ones by Weight Watchers.
Goal 12/21/2007

Last edited by bargoo; 11-25-2008 at 10:05 AM.
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Old 11-25-2008, 01:55 PM   #10
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Hey all,

Thanks so much for your words of support and suggestions It's nice to know that people can be so friendly towards someone they've never met. I love it! I think I'm in that developmental stage where I def. have symptoms of depression--but I don't know if it is a chemical imbalance or just a function of the way my life is at the moment. But, I think it's wise to look into wellbutrin, my sister has been taking it and responded really well.

As far as the food, I'm all about the salad bags and other convenience foods right now. I made a giant thing of black beans in the crock pot, had those with some salad for lunch, and I'll have a lean cuisine for dinner--with some snacks thrown in. Thanks, again guys!
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Old 11-25-2008, 02:13 PM   #11
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Little Electron,

Love your screen name! You have received awesome advise here and I agree that this forum has amazing people...so generous with support and encouragement. This Thanksgiving, I am going to be extremely thankful for this 3FC forum and the super people here!

If I may add a suggestion......exercise, exercise, exercise! It is the best medicine for your body, mind and spirit. It really does help with depression!

Personally, I think walking outdoors in the best for body, mind and spirit.....especially if you can find a park and an i-pod.

I used to walk focused on calories burned...now I walk for the pleasure of walking and the calories burned are a wonderful perk.

My friend went to a psychiartist (sp?) for an anxiety disorder....the doc said exercise is THE best medicine, used alone or in combination with meds. (depending on the severity of the depression/anviety.)

Babysteps, babysteps, babysteps.....it all counts!

best wishes,
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