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so boyfriend dumped me for weight reasons...i need some help and kind words!

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Old 11-19-2008, 11:55 AM   #1
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Default so boyfriend dumped me for weight reasons...i need some help and kind words!

ok so my boyfriend dumped me saying i had gained to much weight for me to be attractive to him!!!! should i tell him the only thing i need to lose is him? he also said he didnt really love me. i just need some reasurance that he must not be a guy worth being around if he says stuff like that, but anyway we broke up, and now we have to live together till he finds an apt, which isnt soon enough, however he has noticied my recent 17 lbs loss!!!! which i have done by just eating healthy, cooking my own food and working out, my weight loss started out for him or in spite rather, but now im enjoying the results and im getting motivation to go workout from you all! (thanks so much!) so what should i do? now he is totally fine, but he still says like...i hope you dont rebound like the other million times you have done this. i dont know...are people really that mean? he says he is just being honest and not being mean at all....i just dont know what to do, he wants me back but i dont know he said those things to me...it tells alot about his character right? is he not a good person? i need oppionions!

P.S. he said the reason why he wanted to let me know things were getting hefty is becuase....we are gay and there are plenty of other men out there who are available....what the heck is that supposed to mean?
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:03 PM   #2
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Dump his a$$.

Seriously. My guy met me at my heaviest weight (over 240) and now that I'm down to 165 or so, he is incredibly proud of me. He always tells me how good I look ... but reminds me that he met me and fell in love with me at my HIGHEST WEIGHT EVER.

You need a guy like that in your life. Not someone who is so shallow that he'd cut you down for your weight.

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Old 11-19-2008, 12:04 PM   #3
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.. Good going on your healthy eating and weightloss and it is great that you want to be healthier for you etc etc....

... I think it sounds like your ex?? should be given the heave-ho myself ... I think his character has definately been shown up to be lacking ....

Good luck and take care...

Last edited by HMS : 11-19-2008 at 12:05 PM.
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:05 PM   #4
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Gosh! Give him a deadline for moving!

You look after your weight for YOU. Forget about him.

When he says that there are plenty of other men out there... say GREAT, GO FIND ONE, NOW! and change the locks.

Jay
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:05 PM   #5
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Here's the thing.

Anyone. ANYONE. Who would be with someone based only on physical characteristics and leave them if they don't meet physical standards...is not worth another second of your time. Not. Another. Second.

I would walk, now. Immediately. You can find someone who loves you for YOU, not who is going to criticize you, cut you down, and say he doesn't really love you when you're mid-fight.

And yes, there are PLENTY of other fish in the sea...both people that will meet his superficial ideal, and people who will love you just the way you are.
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:07 PM   #6
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Get rid of the idiot.

Not even worth your time.
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:13 PM   #7
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it means get rid of him! if there are plenty of other men out there, let him find another one! you don't deserve to be treated that way. he said he doesn't really love you. now that you are losing weight he is okay with you again. you don't fall in and out of love with someone as their weight fluctuates. you love somebody b/c you love them, no matter how big or small they are. change the locks and pack his bags, he can find someone else to stay with until he finds his own place!
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:15 PM   #8
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thank you thank you thank you!!!!!! so my gut instinct was right...toss the guy! thank you peeps for all your help!!!! he will need to move out asap. and you know there are other people out there who will love me no matter what.
photochick thanks for that little story, puts thing in perspective! thanks everyone...ill be getting rid of him!
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:16 PM   #9
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just get rid of this guy ASAP!
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:27 PM   #10
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Tell him GOOD BYE!!
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:29 PM   #11
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yay hotpod!!!
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:33 PM   #12
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Ugh...that guy sounds like a complete shallow loser. Get rid of him and find someone who loves you for how you are on the inside.

Good lord....that makes me sick!
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:39 PM   #13
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Im no relationship expert. But to me it sounds like he should love you for who you are. And that weight should not be a reason to break up, rather something he should support you in. I agree with the others, you are too good for him and should move on.
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:46 PM   #14
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I like that old saying: "The best revenge is living well"
Dump him and take care of you! He's right, there are lots of other men out there and there is one out there who is going to love you for being yourself.
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Old 11-19-2008, 12:48 PM   #15
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Good for you! And if karma has any truth, may your foolish ex be struck with the world's slowest thyroid, and gain 30 pounds in a month. Then he will be both fat and shallow, and maybe will realize what an insensitive moron he was. Then, you can tell him that you may be able to forgive his behavior, but that he will never have enough inner strength of character to be a partner to someone as awesome as you are. Heehee.
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