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the reason i eat

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Old 04-12-2002, 06:14 PM   #1
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when i was in the 9th grade , being shy i never fit into public school, add the fact my mother was really religious, there was a christian school close to me , long story short i began going to this christian school, this place was more close to a cult than anything, they took away my confindience my self woth, (to this day i still walk with my head down i really cant talk to people, )
when i was going there my parents owned a pizza restrant and they gave the school lunches , well everyday my mom would make me a sandwhich and have them delivier it with the school lunches, food became love to me , it was like someone pass those walls cared , someone loved me, i would always go outside by myself and eat this tanable love not thinking about were i was. needless to say it took a while to find this out, but i did, and no i'm still working on fixing my high school years. now im not blaming everthing on this school , i was always big, but never as big as when i stared thier. i found out love was not food, love was not something you could buy at mcdonalds. now i have givien up my one real sence of love(food) it does make the world more lonleyand i do get more depressed more offten, ohh im sorry to have wasted your time
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Old 04-18-2002, 02:29 PM   #2
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Hey there. You haven't wasted anyones time. We all eat for different reasons and it is great to share with others why you eat. I eat to fill a void. An emptyness inside. As long as I am full I dont feel it. I eat to the point where I feel sick. I eat so much that it hurts. But anything feels better than benig lonely. I've been able to control myself and lose 10 pounds but sometimes I just binge. I just got done eating half a box of cereal and I feel sick to my stomach. I dont know why I ate it but before I realized what I was doing I was already full. I am so dissapointed in myself . I know that eating really doesnt do anything for me...it doesnt help fill the void and it just makes me feel worse. I don't know what the point is and sometimes I just feel hopeless.
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Old 05-13-2002, 06:13 PM   #3
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Nc
You havent wasted anyones time..I think it is good you are sharing and writing about things you have discovered about yourself! Keep writing......................

Ralph Waldo Emerson said " A problem recognized is half solved"
Many have turned to food for love and comfort.....................you are not alone!

Just wanted you to know that!
WW Cin..
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