I am sitting here just upset in general with myself. I have had a few horrible, horrible weeks. I haven't been able to exercise because I ended up thinking I had hurt my back and then it turned out to be shingles! My body hates me and I hate my body. So I have just been eating and eating and feeling bad.
I need to get back on track and I look at my two little girls and wonder what the **** am I doing to myself, why can't I get it together so my girls have me for a long time.
When I feel like this I almost feel like i'm outside my body and looking at my family and I"m in my own private ****.
It's just frustrating and hard and I don't know. I feel like giving up sometimes.
You are going through a really rough time. Shingles is incredibly painful-no wonder you can't exercise. You have done so well so far- 14 lbs is alot of weight and you are getting close to having lost 10% of your body weight which makes a huge difference for your health. Cut yourself some slack, go easy- just walk as you recover from shingles and you will continue to lose weight slowly. Don't give up -you deserve to lose weight.
Gosh, my heart goes out to you. I hope you find some relief soon. I'm told shingles are very painful. That would be enough to sabotage anyone's weight loss efforts. Try to focus on positive things, like the good health of your two little girls. Don't be so hard on yourself and your body as all that negative energy works against you. Don't give up! It only seems bad today. It WILL get better! Take care, Gail
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Trust me, we've all been through times like this, so we understand. Really.
Here is my advice: put the past few weeks in the past, where they belong. Stop worrying over them or detailing in your mind what you did wrong. Stop feeling bad about it and instead take some positive action. Get up right now, grab a sheet of paper and write down all your goals and WHY they are important to you. Read that list several times. Post that list in several prominent places so you can keep your goals front and center. Realize that nobody can stop you from reaching those goals except YOU! You DO have the power to make those goals reality, but it will be tough. Weight loss isn't easy for most of us. That's just a fact. Dramatically changing our entire lifestyles is not easy, it just isn't. So know that, accept it, and then realize that you can STILL ACHIEVE those goals. But nobody can do it except YOU.
Next, write out an overall plan for next week -- what you'll eat and if you can exercise, schedule some of that, too. If you can't that's fine. It isn't necessary to start. If you feel overwhelmed, start just with meal planning -- I personally think more than 90% of weight loss is managing food anyway.
The journey to achieving your goals is a million small steps just like the ones above. Once you have your plan, take it one day at a time, even one step at a time. You CAN do this.
Last edited by Mrs Snark : 08-10-2008 at 09:02 PM.
I'm so sorry you're going through this! Just think: you're starting over from a better point than before...you are still lighter and you managed to have the motivation then and you can get it back! Yes, you had a bump in the road, but everyone does. When I got mine, I developed chronic daily migraines. I wanted to kill myself, but of course I would never do it. I finally realized that I have to get my life together for me and for my two boys. You can do the same. You can do it!!!! Forget about all the bad eating in your past. That kind of thinking will only bring you down. Focus on the future. Have a plan in mind. Maybe your plan will have to be adjusted in terms of excercise, but it's possible to do this without it! You just have to be extra determined and extra focused. Please don't give up...please.
First goal: under 180:
Second goal: 175 or below:
Third goal: 168 (no longer overweight):
Fourth goal: 160 or below:
Final goal: 145-155 (not sure if this will ever happen):
I'm sorry you've had such a rough time lately. Shingles are awful. I had shingles. And it wasn't cause my body hated me. It was cause a dormant virus decided to come out and play. Your body doesn't hate you either.
For me, I really had to come to a place where I respected my body. That was actually hard to do. I always appreciated my mind, but my body came in dead last as far as priority goes, and that really is the problem with weight, isn't it? That our nutrition and movement are not given priority.
We have all been down in the dumps. It can be so frustrating to have our attempts derailed by missteps, injuries, life, shingles. But the only thing that matters is what you do next.
You have a lot of special gifts. You have children who love you and look up to you. You have a body that works! Jo is right, you have the power to change your life. You are the only one who can.
I like the idea to write down goals. While you are writing, write down 5 things you love about your body. Your heart, your skin, your hands, your nose, whatever. 5 things. Your body is not bad. Your body is on your side. Your body sits and waits for you to command it. Your body obeys your commands. What you eat, how you move, that is what directs your body. Imagine your body is an eager puppy. It sits and waits, its head cocked and eyes flashing, ready to take off on your order. It will only do what you tell it to do.
You have worth and your body has worth. Marvel at the joys and health of your physical self. Embrace your physical form and find hope in the fact that you, and only you, can change and shape yourself. I know you can do it, but I believe the first step is self-respect. Treat yourself the way you would treat your friends. I love the line in Jewel's Stronger Woman song---it's in my signature. Live the life you would want for your daughters. Would you want your daughters to live with self-loathing? Or with love of their potential, embracing their health, choosing health with each meal, each day? You deserve what your daughters deserve.
I appreciate all the comments. I know majority of my problem is the fact that I got shingles. It really did send my effort out the window when i heard i couldn't exercise. And then the food just went downhill too.
I think sitting down and just writing my goals and also an eating plan is a good start. I'm not sure I can do any of my Turbo Jam tapes, but I think i can start doing a little bit of walking. I know most of my problem is eating and emotional stuff.
I know I can't keep doing this and I need to get back into it. I also think part of it is also that my brother finally came home from being overseas (he's a Marine) and then when he goes back, he's going to aghganistan (sp) I think seeing him and also having shingles just wrecked me. I confess and I know I'm an emotional eater.
Aww.. I am so sorry! I have heard shingles is very painful so please don't beat yourself up for not exercising. But you do need to get back on the wagon as far as eating properly. When you are sick your body NEEDS the proper nourishment even more so!!
I sure hope you are feeling better and can get back into a healthy regimen soon - that will make you feel so much better! And you CAN do this... just keep looking at those little darling girls for your inspiration!
Actually I do feel a little better. it's my grocery day and I have a list of good food and I took some time last night to make a menu plan. Even if my body doesn't feel 100% I got to get my butt back into gear! Thanks again for all the kind words and advice. This is really a great place especially when there are others who know exactly what you are going through.
I'm the type that gets my high from exercise. I can do very well with diet as long as I'm exercising! But if something happens & I can't exercise? My whole world goes to ****.
For the past two years, I've been in a non-exercising holding pattern. Finally, around March/April, I was able to start swimming. I normally lift weights for resistance & do power walking for cardio. But I just can't do that right now. So swimming (& a little regular walking) it is. I haven't lost a SINGLE pound! But I admit... I have been able to stick to my diet plan, & I DO feel better - & the swimming helps! I'm much more relaxed & less apt to tear into an emotional eat-a-thon.
I hope things get better for you soon! - and remember... a little bit of movement is better than no movement at all!
__________________ CHANGE IS HARD.
BUT PERPETUAL DISSATISFACTION AIN'T NO PICNIC EITHER!
You CAN have ANYTHING you want,
but you CAN'T have EVERYTHING you want!~my mama!