I don't sneak eat most of the time. I used to when I was bullemic; then, I'd hide out and eat tons and tons of food and then get rid of it. Not exactly sneaking, but all in secret. However, I do notice that when my older brother comes to visit me (which isn't often) and invariably we go out to some very expensive restaurant (he's like that), I usually hide the fact that I'd really rather just have dessert and/or just drive around and talk to him. I finally did just have dessert and that caused him to worry and fuss about my health even after he'd gone home. He mentioned it in an email, that I'd just eaten that rich dessert. I told him it was all going to be fine!
Eydie: I get a charge out of measuring food in front of people!
It gets on their nerves because people dislike anyone doing anything differently than they do it. They think I'm odd, but I'm not ... it's a hobby! If I were a 25-year-old bodybuilder or fitness competitor, no one would blink an eye. So weigh and measure as much as you like ... but if it bothers you when out, just memorize the portion sizes of what you plan to eat that day and the calorie counts. As for your family, they probably admire you, don't you think?
I know what you mean about remembering your mother's dieting. My mom always dieted, too. What I remember, though, is how much it interested her and how involved she got in each and every new plan that came down the pike. She was a sad person, but the dieting seemed to put a sparkle in her eye. She did not have an eating disorder until her Alzheimer's was somewhat advanced; then, she focused a lot on wanting to be thin (she was).
But eating disorders do run in my family. My younger brother was alternately overweight and anorexic his whole life. Our families do shape our attitudes toward weight and food and haunt us whenever we try to take control for ourselves. But I think what we have to do, really, is to tell those ghosts to go away.
Cheating is not so bad, though. Cheating is ok. I cheat regularly; without cheating I'd be a basket case. So cheat a little, please, just not too much.
Babette: You've been doing really well your challenges! Eating at the table is one I'm working on, too, but not across the board. I've also decided to eliminate the beloved slimfast from my life. I'm just too addicted to it. I've been substituting a canned soy drink that's a bit healthier and not quite so addictive, hopefully. Someday maybe I won't even need that. Not today, though!
Re: "My husband would think I was a pig." I'm glad you recognize that isn't a healthy way for you to feel. I was just wondering if you'd ever actually asked him if he'd think that. I'll bet he wouldn't!
LLB: Thanks for posting. Sorry I don't think I actually answered these questions, just seemed to ramble on. I get like that!
Peace!