I think part of the reason I held onto my weight for so many years was the fact that I did not want the attention. I had an incident when I was 10, which is when I started piling on some pounds, though most of them came after I was married.
I finally realized that it had to be easier to deal with whatever unwanted attention that I would get, then to REMAIN obese. And that has most definitely been the case.
I definitely understand where you're coming from. You've gotten some great advice. LOVE the idea of the self defense class! I not only had fears about unwanted attention from men, but I had many, many other anxities due to my extra weight. They have all completely ceased. My body is strong now and capable of so much more then it used to be. Being fit and trim has given me a great sense of confidence.
You may also want to speak with a professional who can help you work through some of your fears
Change IS scary at times. We get so comfortable the way that that tnings are, even if we're not happy with a situation. At least it's what we KNOW. And of course, I believe it's the fear of the unknown that makes us worry and ponder. Though I do find, the anticiaption of the change is always worse then the actual outcome. Don't let the fear of the unknown hold you back. It's time for you to be the very best YOU that you can be.
Losing weight IS a process. When it happens though, it is VERY, VERY exciting. You will be making a change, one for the better. And part of that change is learning about the new and improved you. It's fun. It's an adventure. And incredibly cool.