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Old 07-24-2008, 11:58 AM   #1
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Default Just a little vent.

As I've posted before, I've had issues with an eating disorder in the past and those issues have been resurfacing ALOT lately.

I know that I shouldn't turn to anyone else for reassurances and whatnot, but my husband has been gone for the past week and it's been REALLY hard. I have hardly been able to talk to him (he's in the military) and he is my only support system (once I go home next month that'll change). Hearing him tell me I'm beautiful and that he loves me helps sooo much in making me feel like I'm worth being healthy and happy.

Since he's been gone I've been a wreck. I'm so stressed out getting everything ready so that I can move back home when he deploys... not to mention stressing out about the deployment itself! All of this has been causing me to binge like a mad woman and thus bringing back more thoughts of "if I fasted for 4 days I could lose what I gained..." or "just go purge, melissa, you'll feel so much better!"

I've been doing some soul searching and I've come to the point where I've had it.

NOT EATING IS NOT AN OPTION.
PURGING IS NOT AN OPTION.

I will eat a HEALTHY amount of calories, I will get my stuff together, and I will finish losing this way PROPERLY. This is NOT a race, this is MY LIFE, MY HEALTH, and MY HAPPINESS. I CAN do this, I WILL do this. I will do this for ME, for my HUSBAND, for my FAMILY, for my FRIENDS, for my PUPPY (she's like my baby, what can I say? lol) and for my FUTURE CHILDREN.

So, regardless of my little revelation, I think as soon as I get home I'm going to give my therapist a call and set up some appointments.

Wish me luck, guys. I definately need it, as well as a few prayers right now.
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Old 07-24-2008, 01:07 PM   #2
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Keeping you in my thoughts during this little rough patch. You WILL get through this.

And hey, he may be your only LOCAL support, but he's not your only support...you've got Team 3FC behind you!
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Old 07-24-2008, 01:10 PM   #3
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Good luck, Melissa! I'm sorry you're going through such a stressful period. Just remember that it WILL pass.
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Old 07-24-2008, 01:41 PM   #4
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You can do it lovleypurple- because you already are! You've made the mental effot to choose a healthy path and follow it. And, as a fellow ED fighter, we both know that women fighting EDs are some of the stongest gals on the planet. Who else has this level of motivation to do such horrible things to ourselves in the name of thinness and self negativity? We can channel that same stubborn determination in the name of health and make it WORK FOR US FOR A CHANGE!
-Circeebee, on your side!
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Old 07-24-2008, 01:59 PM   #5
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Lovely...look at your ticker, you have done so so well! give yourself a huge pat on the back and show yourself some love...you're strong and you've absolutely hit the nail on the head with your soul searching. You can absolutely do this, you deserve it! big hugs, and keep going, one step at a time!
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Old 07-24-2008, 02:22 PM   #6
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Hang in there! Your pledge to yourself is PERFECT, you CAN DO IT!

Quote:
I will eat a HEALTHY amount of calories, I will get my stuff together, and I will finish losing this way PROPERLY. This is NOT a race, this is MY LIFE, MY HEALTH, and MY HAPPINESS. I CAN do this, I WILL do this. I will do this for ME, for my HUSBAND, for my FAMILY, for my FRIENDS, for my PUPPY (she's like my baby, what can I say? lol) and for my FUTURE CHILDREN.
Right on!
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Old 07-24-2008, 02:57 PM   #7
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I too have dealt with binging and purging...I feel your struggle. I will keep you in my prayers....

YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL...YOU ARE GOD's MASTERPIECE!!!
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Old 07-24-2008, 08:36 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Circebee View Post
You can do it lovleypurple- because you already are! You've made the mental effot to choose a healthy path and follow it. And, as a fellow ED fighter, we both know that women fighting EDs are some of the stongest gals on the planet. Who else has this level of motivation to do such horrible things to ourselves in the name of thinness and self negativity? We can channel that same stubborn determination in the name of health and make it WORK FOR US FOR A CHANGE!
-Circeebee, on your side!
Amen to that!
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Old 07-24-2008, 09:01 PM   #9
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We're here for you!! Keeping you in my thoughts.
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Old 07-27-2008, 08:26 PM   #10
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ive had an ED for a full calendar year now and i know how dibilitating and awful it is in every way. i have been binging and purging a lot less this summer and it feels great but the few times i have slipped up i remember just how low the lows are. pull yourself out of it, we are all here for you
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Old 07-27-2008, 10:04 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelypurple View Post
I will eat a HEALTHY amount of calories, I will get my stuff together, and I will finish losing this way PROPERLY. This is NOT a race, this is MY LIFE, MY HEALTH, and MY HAPPINESS. I CAN do this, I WILL do this. I will do this for ME, for my HUSBAND, for my FAMILY, for my FRIENDS, for my PUPPY (she's like my baby, what can I say? lol) and for my FUTURE CHILDREN.

So, regardless of my little revelation, I think as soon as I get home I'm going to give my therapist a call and set up some appointments.

Wish me luck, guys. I definately need it, as well as a few prayers right now.
I am sending tons of well wishes your way . You CAN get through this, and you WILL

ALL the best!!! And remember, we're here for you all the way!
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