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Old 07-22-2008, 02:42 PM   #1
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Angry Spiteful people

Have any of you encountered any spiteful people once you've lost weight? I've definitely seen my share. No one was spiteful to me about my looks back when I was "naturally thin" but once I "blew up" and then deflated, I've come across some VERY angry, mean, and jealous people.

What is going on in the lives of these girls that causes them to feel the need to make degrading remarks? I guess you never know what someone else is going through and behavior like this is usually bred through some type of insecurity. I hope those girls find a peace that makes interactions like this one (which they probably didn't even realize made such an impact) a thing of the past.

What is everyone's experiences with this and how do you handle it?

For me, it depends on my mood. I can be subdued, subtle, witty, catty, or downright mean depending on the situation. Lately, I just reply to negative comments with, "Hmm, jealous? "
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Old 07-22-2008, 03:06 PM   #2
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I think that happens a lot of times when folks try to do anything to better themselves. Plan and simple some people wish they could do what you did and or they wish they did what you did. Then you have those who are happy for you from the bottom of their heart. I deal with people like that by not dealing with them...LOL no time for negative energy its no good! Keep your head high......
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Old 07-22-2008, 03:26 PM   #3
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i haven't lost that much weight yet but my body shape has been changing and i've become a lot more muscular and toned, and at a bar recently i overheard a man and a woman debating loudly (sitting next to where i was standing) whether my arms were muscular or fat.

i'm guessing it started with the man commenting that i have muscular arms and the woman (i'm guessing his gf?) being spiteful and trying to convince him i was just fat. i took comfort in the fact that i could use my muscles to punch her face in if i wanted, then i took the high road and walked away
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Old 07-22-2008, 04:12 PM   #4
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I guess it goes both ways, really...You hate the look the lady attending the Dressing room at clothing outlets gives you every time you hand back your three items with the excuse that they don't fit...

Then...drop a few pounds and tone up...you get the same treatment, definitely not what one would expect after working so hard to achieve those results!
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Old 07-22-2008, 07:40 PM   #5
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People are too lazy to do smt for themselfs and they think that's ok if everyone is doing the same... When they see someone achieving their goals in whatever area... they feel angry and attack... but they feel angry about themselfs and threatened by you
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Old 07-22-2008, 08:01 PM   #6
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Shane,

It always boils down to some type of insecurity or jealousy. Don't sweat it. I usually ignore it, and them.

And btw - your new pics look phenomenal!!
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Old 07-22-2008, 08:22 PM   #7
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There are a lot of angry people in the world, and it sure seems that often what they're angry about doesn't even make any sense.

You may have heard me say this before on another thread, but hubby and I found a great new hmong/thai restaurant in town (in part of northcentral wisconsin in which tex mex and chinese megabuffets are about as exotic as it gets). The owners (a really nice hmong couple) moved into a restaurant that had been a series of failed "family" restaurants (and had changed owners, but not the menu for many years). Well, the couple decorated their restaurant and a very prominant signage that indicated they were a thai restaurant, and they've faced alot of people ANGRY that they couldn't get cinammon rolls, or other things that had "always" been on the menu "before."

I mean, the owner says she's been screamed at and called names (we've witnessed some of the foolishness to a lesser degree - a couple of ladies annoyed that there weren't mushroom cheeseburgers on the menu).

I don't get it. What would make anyone think that they could get cinammon rolls and mushroom cheeseburgers in a thai restaurant. Not to mention the people telling the owner she is making the food "wrong" because the dishes aren't like the chinese dishes they've had of the same name. (Thai spring rolls, ginger chicken, and stir fries are not the same as chinese spring rolls, ginger chicken, and stir fries).

What can I say, some people are just plain idiots. And instead of realizing they don't know what's going on, they're mad at the rest of the world for not making sense.

It's funny when you think about it. Well, maybe not so much, but if I don't laugh about it, I end up getting mad about it, and I'm afraid of that leading me into the same idiocy.
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Old 07-22-2008, 08:34 PM   #8
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No matter what your circumstance - larger becoming smaller, smaller becoming larger, different in any way, staying the same forever - there will be spiteful, mean people.

The only part you can control is how much attention you pay - the best answer, of course, being none.
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Old 07-22-2008, 09:43 PM   #9
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Most people were really supportive until they found out that my mom had sent pictures in to a modeling agency, and they called me back because they wanted to meet with me. Then the jealousy EXPLODED. People can be so cruel sometimes, especially women and old friends. I try to keep my head up and take everything that people say with a grain of salt.
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Old 07-22-2008, 10:57 PM   #10
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Shane, we are all special and unique, but you are more special and unique than most. They are jealous. Period. Probably if they bothered to get to know you they'd get over it.
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Old 07-22-2008, 11:05 PM   #11
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In the words of my good friend, Charity:
"Hatas gotta hate."



If you look great and feel great, that's all that matters.
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Old 07-23-2008, 02:00 AM   #12
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definately what does it matter what anyonne else thinks or says....
if you doing the journey for yourself its only you you gotta please....
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Old 07-23-2008, 02:27 AM   #13
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Hateful things from people close to you, is the most painful. Not that it fixes or helps, but it's usually coming from their pain.

And from the other side, a quick stab of jealousy when someone close is succeeding where you are not, is normal. However, the kind and smart thing to do is keep those feelings to yourself and to talk yourself out of it, not dwell on it and let it fester into anger and hatred. So the people who can't keep those feelings to themselves, in the long run hurt themselves worse than they hurt anyone else. They lose friends and they don't make progress or have success in their own lives because they're too busy dwelling on and festering over the "unfairness" of other people's success.

Sad, really.
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Old 07-23-2008, 04:04 AM   #14
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hmmm.... Haven't had a spiteful comment - perhaps being both male and older puts me out of that competition that breeds "spiteful."

However, frequently when I meet an overweight friend who sees that I've lost weight, I am met with "well, I need to lose these last 10 pounds, which I could do except that I really have to have a crumpet with my afternoon tea," or some other innocuous food item, which rather minimizes that they carry some 40 extra pounds more than is supported by a daily crumpet.

Interestingly enough, I never get such comments from my larger friends; perhaps they are more realistic, or perhaps don't feel the need to immediately justify themselves.
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Old 07-23-2008, 05:23 AM   #15
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You're absolutely right when you say this breeds from their own insecurities. Me? I show them compassion and send nice thoughts there way, because no matter what they think or say about me I'm me regardless of their disillusioned thoughts.

Stay strong!
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