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Fence-sitter needs help!

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Old 07-09-2008, 03:23 PM   #1
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Default Fence-sitter needs help!

I just don't know what to do. I can't expect to lose weight vascillating from one program or way of eating to another, but I'm in a battle between calorie counting on my own, and WW. I have the tools to calorie count, but just can't seem to get myself started - it's like I know what I should be doing, but just don't.

I don't like the idea of paying for WW, but am wondering...if getting weighed in each week and having a support meeting to refocus each week would make a difference, then wouldn't it be worth it? I struggle with that, though, because I feel like I should be able to do this all on my own. And ultimately, that is what I want - but, I have over 100 lbs. to lose, no time to fool around, and think that maybe more structure and a "formal program", at least to get things underway, might be a better way to go?

It honestly makes me feel weak-willed, though, and I hate the feeling!!! (nothing against anyone who's on WW, this is just me) I tend to be (or at least, think of myself as) a strong, self-reliant person, and really struggle with the notion that I need some help to do this. I see so many of you counting calories on your own, achieving great success, and want so much to be one of you. The trouble is that I always second-guess myself (I may think of myself as a strong person, but self-esteem is a whole other matter), and so I wind up feeling very unsure of myself if I try to "go it alone". It doesnt' take much for me to convince myself that I'm "wrong", and this is one big reason why I'm thinking WW might be a better choice....if I'm following the program, I'm doing it "right", so no need to second guess myself or worry.

Am I fooling myself, though? Is the idea of a more structured program a crutch? This is why I'm so confused....I do know that even WW can only work with my commitment to MAKE it work, so if I can commit to WW, why not calorie counting on my own? What the heck is wrong with me????

I'm ready to do the work, one way or another - I honestly am. This is a barrier I'm struggling to get past, though, and until I do I know I'm going to have problems. I really don't know exactly what I'm looking for.....I guess just some feedback on whether ANY of this makes sense to anyone, or if anyone has any input on which path to choose and why. Without a plan to move forward I know I'm going to wind up just standing still! Ultimately the decison has to be mine, I know - but with no one else to talk to about all of this crap in my head, I just hope someone here might have something to share that will resonate with me and aid me in making some decisions for myself.

Thanks for reading my long ramble!

Mag
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Old 07-09-2008, 03:28 PM   #2
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Hey Mag!

What works for you will be different from person to person. Some people need that accountability...the meeting or the check-in or the specific plan. Others REBEL against that sort of thing, eating off-plan when given structure. So we each have to decide what works for us.

Neither one is the "right" or "stronger" or "better" way. Staying OP with Weight Watchers will be hard, just like calorie counting is hard. It's all different versions of "Hard", so just pick the one that works best with how YOU work, and go from there.
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Old 07-09-2008, 03:55 PM   #3
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Hi Mag, at least you've taken the first step and decided that you need to do something! Yeah!! Now, what to do. Well, I'm a fence sitter myself, so for what it's worth from reading your post it sounds like you want the accountabilty of going to WW. That is very motivational to alot of people.
I, on the other hand, am extremely cheap and would never pay money weekly to get weighed-lol (I know there's more to it than that-don't flame me WW people )
I personally believe in watching portion sizes and eating what you want--in moderation. The moderation part is the hard part though (I'm a binge eater).
You could always try one or the other and if it doesn't work out after a couple of months, try the other one. I don't think WW has a contract or anything does it? Or try calorie counting on your own, since it's free, and see how you do. You obviously know that you need to do something and I applaude you for that. Congrats for taking the first steps.

Best wishes
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Old 07-09-2008, 04:51 PM   #4
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I think we all need support to do this or we wouldn't even be members of this community. That's what this place is: support. Getting it from a structured WL program isn't really that different, and all WW does is teach you the basics of how to eat so that you're not feeling deprived, but still staying within a calorie range that will give you a deficit. Same exact thing as calorie counting, and if you really don't want to rely on meetings there's always WW online.

I've done all my weight loss on my own (with RL and online support) because I couldn't afford WW, but there have been times I've wished that I could afford a program. I imagine if I'd been in WW I wouldn't have had a year-long plateau.

It's up to you whether you overcome the mental stigma attached to joining a WL support group or try to go it alone. But just by posting here you've already asked for and gotten support, so I'd say that stigma doesn't mean a whole bunch in the long run.
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Old 07-09-2008, 04:52 PM   #5
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Hey! Glad to see you here!

Gosh, why do you think you have to go it alone? It's OK to have help and support...

I'd say, join WW! Go to the meetings, follow the program. All week long you'll be "going it alone," after all, until the next meeting rolls around.

I have a close friend who has lost 60 pounds on WW. She is about as self-reliant as they come, but she really did need the structure, as it turned out. Left on her own she vacillated too much, used logic or just plain desire to blow her plan, etc.

Many years ago, I lost 30 pounds--but I didn't stick around to learn maintenance. Bad mistake...

So go ahead and join! It won't hurt a bit, you'll see.

Jay
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Old 07-09-2008, 05:37 PM   #6
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Thanks for your replies! I think too much, it's always been a problem of mine, and it really does drive me crazy sometimes (and those around me, I'm sure!!)

I don't know why I think I have to go it alone, I really don't. It's something I have to work on, for sure (that, and my outstanding indecisiveness! LOL!). JayEll, you're right - it won't hurt a bit. I was thinking about just that after posting - that there can't be any possible harm in trying out WW and the meetings, and seeing how it goes from there. I think to NOT go that route, I'll always be wondering about it, and if it would be helping me, and that's just silly - there's no reason to not explore it so I can know for sure.

There's no denying the fact that the accountability is very appealing to me right now, so I do think it's something I need to explore.
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Old 07-09-2008, 06:26 PM   #7
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Good for you!!

Now, when's your first meeting???
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Old 07-09-2008, 07:15 PM   #8
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If I was you, I would try WW. I feel like a very strong person, but I had failed before at many "diets". I continuously heard success stories about WW, but still procrastinated going to my first meeting. I feel it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I started a year ago June and I love the motivation and support I get from my leader and from the other members. I reached maintenance in January and now my meetings are free but I continue to go. I know the stats-- that 95% of people regain their lost weight and I am determined NOT to be in that group of statistics!
You can also usually attend a meeting for free to see if WW is for you so I suggest you try it out.
Good luck!
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Old 07-10-2008, 12:18 AM   #9
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I think too much. I think that's why I like calorie counting. Lots of planning and scheming.
But I think WW can be like that too.
I agree, going to one or two meeting might help you make an informed decision.
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Old 07-10-2008, 02:59 AM   #10
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Thanks again, everyone! I talked things over with DH tonight, too, and we've come up with a solid plan to do WW, so now I've moved from indecision to excitement, I'm really ready to get started!

ddc - first meeting will be Friday morning!

Now that I finally reached a decision, I feel I can throw myself firmly into it. I'm committing to a solid 3 months, where I give it my all and focus solely on the plan in front of me - I'll reassess at that point if I need.
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Old 07-10-2008, 02:26 PM   #11
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I'm of the firm belief that some people (I'd venture to say MOST even) need to hold themselves accountable to SOMEONE.

Whether it's being open and honest on here... or a meeting... doesn't matter.

I read somewhere once that weight watchers said their members were something like 50% more likely to be successful when they combined the plan with meetings. Hmmmm.... think they're on to something?
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