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Old 07-07-2008, 12:05 PM   #1
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Unhappy So sad....

Hey everyone,

I don’t post here that often, but today I just felt like letting off some steam about how I am feeling.

First of all let me tell you about myself. I am 26 years old, and have been overweight since I was 16 or so… I have NEVER had a serious boyfriend, and I definitely think that my weight has something do to with it.

In the past year I got started on some medication (anti depressants) and they have cause me to gain so much weight it is scary. (50 lbs in a year to be exact) So here I am now, 5’8 and 290 lbs. I am sad all of the time, because due to the medications I am on, it is extremely difficult to lose weight. Lately I have been getting all kinds of negative comments about my weight from other people and it really hurts. For example, I was in the concession stand line in a movie theater on Saturday and apparently I wasn’t moving fast enough. I heard the guy behind be say to his spouse, “Why can’t she move her fat A** out of the way.” I didn’t say anything, but during the movie I just started crying because it really hurt to hear that.

And then this morning I went into our coffee room to get some coffee, and one of the managers was in there setting out breakfast for the office. (We get breakfast every Monday) Well, I NEVER ever eat what they bring because usually it is donuts and pastries and I just don’t like those things for breakfast. But today she brought some cherries and strawberries, so I thought I would grab a few. Well I got a small cup out to get some, and as she was walking away she turned and said, “Remember you have to save enough for everyone.” There were two HUGE bags full of cherries and strawberries. Did she think just because I was overweight that I was going to take both of the bags and dump them in my gigantic plastic lined purse like I was at an all you can eat buffet?

I am so sad right now about how I have let myself become. I have a doc’s appt on Wednesday to taper off the medications so I can get my weight back under control…

I’m sorry for the long post. I am just really down right now because of what happened this morning…

Thanks for reading this, I hope you guys all have a great Monday…
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:11 PM   #2
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I wish I could say she was just one rude or ignorant person. But lots of people say stupid things, and it *will* happen again. It's life. Sometimes they're rude or ignorant, sometimes they mean well, but don't "know well." Sometimes they're projecting their own issues.

On the one hand, you have to make this all about you, not about other people, so they can't get you down. Sounds simple, but it's really true. On the other hand, it's OK (and just plain human) to be bothered a little bit, and this is a great place to vent, get a little sympathy and validation, and support in moving and and not letting it get you down!
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:15 PM   #3
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I'm sorry that co-workers and others were unkind....(it doesn't cost anything to be nice).

Anti-depressants aren't one size fits all and some meds are worse for weight control.

If you can make small changes, pat yourself on the back for each one, it's an accomplishment towards your ultimate goal....try to make a commitment to do a 15 min. walk every night and during that walk just focus on yourself. put your eating style on a healthy track....if you want it bad enough you'll do it.

Relationships can start when you least worry about them...start smiling and looking forward to each day, because it's your chance to change your life.

You're in charge of this, it's your call....you can be amazing. best to you!
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:20 PM   #4
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:hugs:

I am glad you are going back to see the doc. Comments are hard to get over. It's amazing how long hurtful things hurt for.

Have you thought about what type of plan you are going to follow? Concentrate on just yourself for now, and ignore coworkers comments.
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:22 PM   #5
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That's just disgusting behavior! People like that make me sick! I'm sorry for your hurt...I wish you all the best!
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:25 PM   #6
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I'm so sorry for those hurtful comments! Believe me, though, we ALL understand that hurt bc 99% of us here have experienced how it feels to be called fat, have comments and jokes made ab our appearance/weight/appetite, etc.

But just remember -- you will lose weight for YOU not for other people. Sure, maybe part of it will be to show the world that you CAN do it and make them eat their words, but it is mostly for your health and wellbeing, not for others. That other people feel free to make comments/say insulting things to overweight people they wouldn't *dream* of saying to normal weight people makes me very angry -- part of it might be that they expect to be able to get away with it and they assume you will quietly eat their comment and not say anything back. UGH! PEOPLE!

I've never been on depression medication, but I know from watching others that the cure is often just as bad as the disease and it's good you're being phased off of them.

You can do this!
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:51 PM   #7
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The important thing is to realize that you aren't alone. Many, many people are in your situation, or have been there and changed it. We've all been hurt by stupid, thoughtless comments like that.

As long as you're seeing your doctor, bring up your desire to lose weight. Ask him or her for a referral to a dietitian or other specialist--because in my experience, few doctors know much about weight loss (that is, how to go about it in any specific way). That might be helpful. I'm sure that your doctor realizes that you are facing a weight problem.

Also, have you looked into programs like Weight Watchers? If you're someone who could use some real-world support, WW might be worthwhile. It does cost some money, but I'll bet if you're like most people, you spend more money on eating out each week than you would on WW.

There are other support programs, too, like TOPS, which is free. And there are lots of on-line tools available also, like you are finding here on 3FC.

You know the social reasons to lose weight, but keep in mind that the health reasons are very important, too. It is likely never to get easier to lose weight than it is for you right now, so why not get started?

Don't despair! You really can do this, too!

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Old 07-07-2008, 12:52 PM   #8
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The longer I live, the more convinced I become that the world is full of morons. Surround yourself with people who love and appreciate you. Know that you can always find support here.
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Old 07-07-2008, 01:14 PM   #9
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You are very lucky. You can fix weight but you can't fix being an idiot. Those poor people ;-)

Remember, keep your head up, and be honest with yourself. Are you working out in some way every day? That helps with acute depression. Are you celebrating the wonderful thing that is eating, by exploring local farmers markets, and organic foods? Little things like that lift your spirits. Chopping a large plateful of fresh vegetables is very calming, and looks beautiful and abundant in the end. I think if your doctor changes/reduces your medication it would help. I don't understand anti-depressants that make you depressed. Would you be ok without them?
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Old 07-07-2008, 03:10 PM   #10
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm struggling with depression meds as well. I've spent a good amount of time researching them lately and I've learned they aren't all the same and they all affect people in different ways. So don't give up looking for solutions because there are many options, meds and non-meds. I wish you success with all of my heart.
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Old 07-07-2008, 04:43 PM   #11
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Keep your chin up, and while I know it's easier said than done, try really hard to NOT LET IDIOTIC/RUDE PEOPLE GET TO YOU!
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Old 07-07-2008, 04:46 PM   #12
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Default So sorry

Jayell is absolutely right. All of us at one time or another feel the hurt caused by one's stupidy. Once you start feeling better by eating healthy and perhaps getting off your meds, you will be able to focus on your weight loss. You will feel so much bettter about yourself regardless of what other might say. Good luck to you
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Old 07-07-2008, 04:52 PM   #13
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I'm so sorry that happened. People really are idiots.. but you've got each one of ours support. (nice grammer hey). Keep asking for help from your health care provider until you're satisfied! I can relate to what it's like when ya gain weight because of medication/health reasons beyond your control...

what I ended up doing when focusing on the things in my control -- it gave me some confidence (I did 12 basic pilates moves for nearly a year because that's all the exercise I could do!) What can you do actually do today? drink enough water? do some simple stretches? just do that for now.

ps. mondays really suck.
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Old 07-07-2008, 05:09 PM   #14
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What a horrid thing for one co-worker to say to another! I am sorry that she said that to you and hurt you.

It never fails to amaze me that so called adults can go to work and behave like twelve year old junior high school brats. Personal attacks like that are not only painful to the person on the receiving end of them, they are unprofessional and totally out of line.

I hope that with the help of your doc, you can find a way to manage your condition and make strides towards a healthier, more fit you.

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Old 07-07-2008, 05:35 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gippaloo View Post
Hey everyone,

I don’t post here that often, but today I just felt like letting off some steam about how I am feeling.

First of all let me tell you about myself. I am 26 years old, and have been overweight since I was 16 or so… I have NEVER had a serious boyfriend, and I definitely think that my weight has something do to with it.

In the past year I got started on some medication (anti depressants) and they have cause me to gain so much weight it is scary. (50 lbs in a year to be exact) So here I am now, 5’8 and 290 lbs. I am sad all of the time, because due to the medications I am on, it is extremely difficult to lose weight. Lately I have been getting all kinds of negative comments about my weight from other people and it really hurts. For example, I was in the concession stand line in a movie theater on Saturday and apparently I wasn’t moving fast enough. I heard the guy behind be say to his spouse, “Why can’t she move her fat A** out of the way.” I didn’t say anything, but during the movie I just started crying because it really hurt to hear that.
See, I would've told him to mind his damn business but I'm kind of a b*tch. You should've threw some popcorn in his face and ran, lol!

Last edited by Bonita Applebaum : 07-07-2008 at 05:45 PM.
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