I seriously feel like dying
 

New to the boards. Long story short, I have struggled with weight my entire life. I managed to pick myself up out of a deep depression and lost 57 pounds...I had only 15 pounds until my goal weight. Last month something in me wasn't right and on and off the entire month I binged. Not every day, but on and off and in between I ate healthy and exercised occasionally. I looked on the scale today and I gained 20 POUNDS!! How is this even possible when I wasn't even binge eating every day??? Not to mention, it took 6 months to LOSE 57 pounds, and less than ONE month to gain 20 pounds??? I even waited one day to see if it was water weigh but it still reads that I gained 20 pounds. I feel sooo horrible and I am doing everything in my power to lose 20 pounds this month at least. I don't care what anyone says, if I could GAIN that much in less than a month I can lose it in less than a month. Janet Jackson lost 20 pounds a month, so could I. I am so sick of this. I had come SO FAR and I gained 20 pounds in around 3 weeks total?? I am so upset.

Please focus on the positive...You successfully lost weight and kept some of it off! Just get right back on plan. :hug:

Hey! :wel3fc:

It's probably not all fat--some of it is water weight, some of it may even be lean body mass.

The reason you can gain faster than you lose is because there's no upper limit on how many calories a person can eat. It really is possible to eat, say, 2,000 calories MORE than your maintenance number in a day. But, you can't go down to zero calories and expect that to work. Not for long... :no:

You haven't mentioned what your weight loss plan is. Are you doing Weight Watchers, South Beach, calorie counting...? If you give us some specifics, we might be able to make suggestions. But I do want to caution you about thinking you can lose 20 pounds in a month and keep it off. 1-2 pounds a week, on average, is considered a healthy rate of loss.

Hang in there! You haven't gained it all back yet! You can reverse this!

Jay

Boy I know that feeling....I was on Zoloft a few years ago for depression and I was gaining every week....talk about feeling depressed after I stepped on the scale to have gained 8 lbs. in a week!

but you can't undo what happened, so you've taken the first step, you've put the breaks on and will move forward...pat yourself on the back, you will take it off again and be even wiser when close to your goal....(you can kick me in the butt on the way, because I am slacking big-time too)

A hug is coming your way from another emotional eater! :hug:
I agree with the others, do focus on the positive. You did lose a lot, and so what if you fell of the waggon for a moment. Just get back on and keep going! You'll lose some more, and even if you gain some of that back again, after that you'll lose more. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Take it step by step. What counts in the end is the balance sheet, not the steps that lead you there. Ups and downs are normal. Don't beat yourself up about them. And anyway, weight lost too fast is bound to reappear eventually. So take your time, that's perfectly ok!

That's tough. But, it's true. You can't go into the past and erase what happened.Now you can take hold of the future and prove to yourself that you're the one in control.

I agree with what everyone said so far. At least you still have lost weight. You have stopped the weight gain now. So good job!

Also, you said that something in you wasn't right and that's why you binged. Have you thought of a plan to distract you or fill your time when you feel like just eating?

I believe that everything we go through has a purpose and nothing is wasted. So even in this situation, you learn how to distract yourself so you don't emotional binge eat, couldn't it be worth it? You are making descisions today that will effect your health for the rest of your life.

Give yourself some dap because you are worth it! Take it one day at a time. Six months or a year will totally fly by in no time at all.

I am calorie counting. Eating the recommended amount of calories for me and working out. I wonder how long water weight can bloat you because I waited one day and I was still that weight, but today I have been going to the bathroom a lot and feel a tiny bit less bloated. I just cannot wait 1-2 pounds a week at this point. I started my healthy diet in november, struggling everyday and working my butt off. My whole goal was to be able to have fun this summer and wear a bathing suit because EVERY summer I spend inside on a diet or binge eating. So I am only going to lose the extra amount I gained fast, then lose the last 15 slowly. I cannot keep waiting. If I wait 1 pound a week I wont even be done til NEXT november! That is ridiculous given I was working out TWICE a day not including weight training every other day. I don't plan on starving do don't worry, but I do plan on exercising like crazy.

worried about you
 

Lily, you can throw away the rest of your loss or pick yourself up and move forward. You remain 37 pounds lighter than you were six months ago, that's huge. (I'm hoping to get to where you are.)

What's concerning me is that you got yourself out of a deep depression to do this, and then last month suddenly started binging off and on. Don't let this trigger another depression.

Have you thought at all about getting some therapy to help you with the depression. Someone once told me that when we stop binging we find out just how much sadness/anger we are washing down with our milk and cookies. It might help to figure out what your eating means, and how you might cope with those things differently.

Hang on...this is doable.

Thanks for the concern, I actually do strugle with depression. The thing is, I am supposed to be put on zoloft this month to help me with my binge eating. But now I hear it causes weight gain so I am freaking out even more. Sure it doesn't happen to everyone who is put on it, but at this point I could barely get out of bed with my depression over my weight gain...if I gain on this pill I will be done. :( But thanks everyone for the support.

Lily,

No weight gain from zoloft could be worse than 20 pounds a month! If your depression lifts you will be able to handle your food better, and also to add more exercise...which is a natural anti-depressive drug!

Hang on, we are here when you need us.

PANDORA is absolutely right. Either you keep working on it 1 lb a week, or you quit and gain it all back. The choice is yours.

I agree. There is absolutely no reason you can't keep going. And there is absolutely no reason, even though you may look forward to what you'll gain with better eating and exercise, not to go out, go swimming and show yourself off in a bathing suit right now. Grab the moment, have a great time! If people act like jerks about it, that's their faults. Don't let your disappointment at not losing as much as you wanted stop you from enjoying your summer, and please, do your best to lose maintainably. It is well, well worth it in the long run.

Exercising like you do, I think you could manage 3 pounds a week, but trying for more is honestly both dangerous and unrealistic. You're simply not going to be able to do it, because it's impossible, so don't beat yourself up about it. Keep in mind that the more slowly you lose, the better your skin will look, and the better the chance that you will be gaining lean muscle, not just losing fat, or even muscle, and lean muscle is, after all, what looks good in a swimsuit. Just do what you can, and remember- even when it seems like you're not going anywhere, you are getting to your goal weight, one day at a time. Just keep going. You will get there.

From experience, if it is water weight just drink a lot of water for 2 days and keep your sodium levels a few hundred below recommended intake level. Perhaps add some coffee or extra caffine to help it along.

Also, throw out the "tomorrow is a new day" mentality, today is the day, right now! If I eat something bad or off plan, then I try to just move on and make the next thing I eat much more mindful and healthy. If you don't go to the gym one day- go for longer the next or add something else. You can rectify any mistake, you have forgive yourself. Don't expect perfection- we are all flawed and make mistakes. Unreasonable expectations lead to feeling like a failure. You only really fail when you choose not to continue- NOT when you make mistakes!

FOCUS on the positive. Not what you DID wrong but what you CAN DO right!

You CAN do it! :)

You say Janet Jackson lost 20 pounds in a month, so why can't you - well, you don't know what she was doing to lose those 20 pounds - she could have been starving herself therefore damaging herself internally which isn't going to be good for you in the long run because you will most likely put those 20 pounds back on plus some if you lose so quickly. Also, everyone's body is different - just because one person can lose 20 pounds in a month doesn't mean you can do it in a healthy way. Even if you did lose 20 pounds in a month then you will probably gain it back because it sounds like you have an issue with dieting then binging then dieting then binging, and that's not a good cycle.

I agree with others that you need to get help with this cycle and your depression. I understand your fear of gaining weight from medication, but you can control that by eating right and exercising, plus most people only gain about 5 pounds on antidepressants and that might be worth it to get your self in control. I have been on and off antidepressants for 6 years and I'm on them right now for anxiety. I have not had any weight gain from it, but it certainly has helped me with my emotions and anxiety which helps stay on plan.

Also, so what if it takes until next November to get to your goal? I've been on 3FC for a year now, and I've been losing weight in a healthy way for 15 months, and I have seen over and over and over on here how losing weight fast usually just leads to gaining it back plus more. I used to get frustrated too because it was taking so long to get to my goal, but then I just tried to relax and realize that I will get there eventually. Just think - 1 pound a week for a year, is 52 pounds a year - that's a lot in a year, so don't be so upset if you only lose 1 pound a week. I used to think a year is a long time, but lately I find the years going by faster and faster, so don't be in such a hurry. Most people who are in a hurry to lose weight gain it back and that's not what you want in the end. Take your time, but don't wait to have fun - you don't have to be skinny or thin to have fun. You can have fun while losing weight, don't wait to be skinny to have fun. Go ahead and wear your bathing suit at whatever weight you are and just have fun.

By the way, can you give us more of your stats (I didn't see them above) - your age, height, weight, daily calorie intake? That might help others give you more suggestions like if your goal weight seems low you might now have as much to lose as you think.