It's not surprising that you would gain a pound, after how you've been treating your body. You probably need to gain more than that in Lean Body Mass! (not fat)
200 calories does not make or break a weight loss plan. It's probably better for you to be eating 1400 calories.
Please try checking in with the members in Chicks in Control, if you haven't been over there already. Here's a link:
it's like there's this other, irrational side of me that takes over and makes me feel like crap.
That is exactly what is happening. You need to ignore that irrational side! It will have you going down the wrong road if you don't.
Please get into counseling as soon as you can--this is not something that you can fix easily yourself, because you can't tell what "normal" is...
Hang in there! Get enough food! Don't worry about the scale for awhile.