Nightingale, I've moved this into Weight Loss Support. It'll get more coverage here.
First, a big hug for you.
You're not alone here. Many of us have felt very much the same way as you do now. And still do.
And like you, most of us know how to lose the weight. It's not rocket science. We've read all the books, magazine articles, online tips. And yet we still keep searching for something new. Something that will do the job for us without any effort on our part.
You really have to accept that no one can do this for you. Really. I think that deep down, you know that. Regardless of how much your family may love you, you need to commit to this journey as something you can and will tackle on your own
. Not without support. I think that Winning the War's suggestion of therapy is an excellent one. And there's lots of support here and in many other places. But if you're not getting it from your family/friends at home, don't keep looking for it there. Accept that this is something they can't help you with.
When you're putting something in your mouth, stop and think. There's no one to take the food from your hand to physically stop you. But is that necessary? Are you an adult? Do you make decisions on your own? Do you have a choice
We can fling around words like "willpower" and "strength", but it all boils down to choice. That's an incredibly powerful word, and you can use it to make small steps. It takes practice to stop and choose. We're on autopilot where food is concerned. It may not feel like a choice when we're feeling sad or lonely or depressed, but that choice is still ours to make.
And stop saying nasty things to yourself, hon.
You're sabotaging your efforts. If you make a good choice, congratulate yourself! And if you make a mistake, acknowledge it and move on. Sometimes we just need to say, "I'm doing the best I can right now. It's not as good as I'd like, but it's my best for right now."
You know this: You're only human, and not perfect. Never will be. But deep inside, you're a powerhouse. No one else has the capacity to use that. It's yours alone.
Hang in there, girl. I'll bet you can make... let's see... how about three good choices today?