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Starting for the 1,000th time....

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Old 06-26-2008, 11:02 AM   #1
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Default Starting for the 1,000th time....

or so it seems anyway. It is so sad. I have been a member here since 2001 and I have done nothing but gain weight ever since. In 2001 I probably only weighed 230 ish and now here I am at 273.
I started eating better about three weeks ago now and have lost about 6 lbs or so, but why do I end up in this cycle of being "so dedicated" and then I drop it in about three months or so.
I was reading previous posts I made a couple years ago. It is so disappointing to look at the same "gung ho" feeling and seeing where I failed myself.

I found out about three months ago I have PCOS - which is probably a big reason on why I haven't been able to lose the weight or concive. I am on medicine for it, but I haven't seen any changes so far.

How do you keep going after trying so many times and failing? I have so much respect for those of you who have stuck to a plan.
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Old 06-26-2008, 12:24 PM   #2
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Hey Sara,

I think everybody has to hit their own rock bottom before they are really ready to face their weight issues and stick to a plan. Even people that are losing weight, and trying to make permanent changes aren't perfect. We all slip up and relapse back into old habits. The key is to pick yourself up and just keep going.

My sister just bought a book called "The Dip." It talks about that gung-ho feeling when you first start something. Then, as the hard work continues and the newness slips away, you have THE DIP . . . this is where most people give up. Everybody feels it. You just have to be committed about what you're doing.

I think you should start with some soul searching. WHY do you want to lose weight? Are you REALLY READY to make permanent changes to your lifestyle? Healthier eating, more activity . . . we all know the essentials.

Then start with baby steps. Pick a healthy eating plan and keep a journal of what you eat and drink. Add some activity.

For me . . . when I stopped the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" crap and focused on my plan, I felt better about myself. It's hard work and it takes a long time, but I'm in this for the LONG haul.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
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Old 06-26-2008, 12:43 PM   #3
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I think the "gung ho" feeling is actually more of a detriment than a help to weight loss. It reinforces the "backward" thinking of weight loss in comparison to any other skill we learn.

And weight loss is a skill set, just like any other. It requires not only new knowledge, but practice in order to learn to master. However, we treat weight loss/"dieting" as something we expect to be perfect at from day one. Perfection generally isn't possible, and "perfect dieting" is a lot like holding your breath. You can do it for a while, but your body fights you the entire way. To some degree, the primitive part of our brains keep us from voluntary starvation and suffocation. Unlike holding our breath, we're not going to pass out and start eating, but biochemical changes do send signals in response to calorie deprivation that can be hard to resist.

Insulin resistance is often part and parcel of PCOS. I'm not PCOS, but I am insulin resistant. Insulin resistance makes losing weight that much more difficult. Reducing carbs seems to help control hunger and improve weight loss (especially if you're diabetic or insulin resistant, a calorie is not a calorie, lower carb dieting seems to fuel metabolism to a much greater degree).

I think the secret to losing weight (notice I didn't say the secret to losing weight quickly) is making changes that you can implement even when you have no motivation. For many people, that is baby steps. Like learning to play the piano, you don't start with a Concerto, you start with "Mary had a little lamb." If you miss a few notes, you don't quit, or consider yourself lousy and unable to learn, you just keep practicing.

Think about things that people only do with dieting and a few other "bad" habits, like gambling and drug use. Only when we're being "naughty" do we have an all or nothing mentality. If we trip on a step, we don't throw ourselves down a stair case. If we accidentally take an extra dose of medication or vitamins - we don't swallow the whole bottle. If we snap irrationally at our spouse, we don't decide we might as well murder him in his sleep.

I know for myself, treating weight loss as a skill I'm working at mastering, has helped make it possible. It's still tough and slow, but at least I really feel, for the first time (beyond the gung ho feeling of the first few days or weeks), that mastering my weight is acheivable. Not today, not tomorrow, but I'm getting closer and closer, and it will happen.
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Old 06-26-2008, 12:49 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
I think the "gung ho" feeling is actually more of a detriment than a help to weight loss. It reinforces the "backward" thinking of weight loss in comparison to any other skill we learn.
Really good point.

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Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
Think about things that people only do with dieting and a few other "bad" habits, like gambling and drug use. Only when we're being "naughty" do we have an all or nothing mentality. If we trip on a step, we don't throw ourselves down a stair case. If we accidentally take an extra dose of medication or vitamins - we don't swallow the whole bottle. If we snap irrationally at our spouse, we don't decide we might as well murder him in his sleep.
These images are cracking me up.
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Old 06-26-2008, 01:15 PM   #5
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Thanks Kaplod!! Really good post..I am caught by this gung-ho feeling my whole life..not only this weight loss..in all other areas of my life..its difficult to move beyond the first two weeks..That is the difference between the achievers and loosers i guess..consistency..I am learning to practice that..Your post just pictured whatever i have in my mind
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Old 06-26-2008, 01:24 PM   #6
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You have to fail to learn how to do something RIGHT. A saying I read. Also in a book I read it says women who stayed thin for life after losing lost in the weight loss game 3-4 times before they decided to REALLY do it. Then they learned techniques to maintain. i've lost and gained a few times myself, I'm thinking you just have to take what you learned from failure - and slowly remove the bad habits - and move on.
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Old 06-26-2008, 01:25 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ggmugsy View Post
Hey Sara,

I think everybody has to hit their own rock bottom before they are really ready to face their weight issues and stick to a plan. Even people that are losing weight, and trying to make permanent changes aren't perfect. We all slip up and relapse back into old habits. The key is to pick yourself up and just keep going.


For me . . . when I stopped the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" crap and focused on my plan, I felt better about myself. It's hard work and it takes a long time, but I'm in this for the LONG haul.

YOU CAN DO T!HIS!!
I think this is all great advice !!!

you are going to "slip up" and no one ever eats perfectly thier WHOLE life ( it would be pretty rare ) ... I don't think that is what is essentially important .. the important thing is by far to just brush your self off and keep truckin along!! ... it is to easy to just quit and sit on the sidelines after a big fall... but if you do keep getting back up eventually your not going to fall as much it takes practice!

it does take a LONG time ( or at least it sure feels that way until your looking back on it ) and it is HARD sometimes more hard then others ( thats when we look to each other for the support ... its not going to quick and easy so don't let that effect your ambition ... don't let the time discourage you .... it WILL happen eventually if you stick to it ... and someday is better than never!

just try to shut out all the negative thoughts , or guilt ( as much as you can ) because in the end it will play in a big part of keeping you from your goal....
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Old 06-26-2008, 01:29 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post

Think about things that people only do with dieting and a few other "bad" habits, like gambling and drug use. Only when we're being "naughty" do we have an all or nothing mentality. If we trip on a step, we don't throw ourselves down a stair case. If we accidentally take an extra dose of medication or vitamins - we don't swallow the whole bottle. If we snap irrationally at our spouse, we don't decide we might as well murder him in his sleep.
that put things into perspective for sure
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Old 06-26-2008, 01:40 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
And weight loss is a skill set, just like any other. It requires not only new knowledge, but practice in order to learn to master.
Preach on, kaplods. Such a great post!
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Old 06-26-2008, 01:47 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
I think the "gung ho" feeling is actually more of a detriment than a help to weight loss. It reinforces the "backward" thinking of weight loss in comparison to any other skill we learn.

And weight loss is a skill set, just like any other. It requires not only new knowledge, but practice in order to learn to master. However, we treat weight loss/"dieting" as something we expect to be perfect at from day one. Perfection generally isn't possible, and "perfect dieting" is a lot like holding your breath. You can do it for a while, but your body fights you the entire way. To some degree, the primitive part of our brains keep us from voluntary starvation and suffocation. Unlike holding our breath, we're not going to pass out and start eating, but biochemical changes do send signals in response to calorie deprivation that can be hard to resist.

I think the secret to losing weight (notice I didn't say the secret to losing weight quickly) is making changes that you can implement even when you have no motivation. For many people, that is baby steps. Like learning to play the piano, you don't start with a Concerto, you start with "Mary had a little lamb." If you miss a few notes, you don't quit, or consider yourself lousy and unable to learn, you just keep practicing.

Think about things that people only do with dieting and a few other "bad" habits, like gambling and drug use. Only when we're being "naughty" do we have an all or nothing mentality. If we trip on a step, we don't throw ourselves down a stair case. If we accidentally take an extra dose of medication or vitamins - we don't swallow the whole bottle. If we snap irrationally at our spouse, we don't decide we might as well murder him in his sleep.

I know for myself, treating weight loss as a skill I'm working at mastering, has helped make it possible. It's still tough and slow, but at least I really feel, for the first time (beyond the gung ho feeling of the first few days or weeks), that mastering my weight is acheivable. Not today, not tomorrow, but I'm getting closer and closer, and it will happen.
I just wanted to say that this was a wonderful post and I thank you for sharing it. I'm going to print it out and keep reading it 'til it sinks in!

Thank you.
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Old 06-26-2008, 02:03 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
If we snap irrationally at our spouse, we don't decide we might as well murder him in his sleep.
Well no, but some of us will have to admit to giving it serious consideration
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Old 06-26-2008, 02:15 PM   #12
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"When the pain of being overweight outweighs the pleasure of eating, that is when motivation translates to action."

That is a quote I found here at 3FC and it was the case for me.

Longterm weightloss, the ability to stick with it, the determination, the "I'm gonna do it no matter what this time", could not occur for me until I was sick and tired enough of being overweight.

Quote:
How do you keep going after trying so many times and failing?
Because you never know which time is going to be "thee" time and luckily, we get as many chances as we need at this.
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Old 06-26-2008, 02:41 PM   #13
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I also have PCOS. It makes losing weight exta hard. I am slowly losing, but at least I know I am doing it in healthy way. I just keep my mindset more on being healthy and living a healthy life.
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Old 06-26-2008, 03:58 PM   #14
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I am reading everyone's reply and it's making me tear up!
I think I have read probably every book there is on the different diet plans out there - I probably know the calorie count of any food you can put in front of me. I know so much about doing it right but I have just got to buckle down.

ggmugsy - I am going to see if I can find that book. THank you so much for the kind words!

kaplods - BOY did this put things into prospective "Think about things that people only do with dieting and a few other "bad" habits, like gambling and drug use. Only when we're being "naughty" do we have an all or nothing mentality. If we trip on a step, we don't throw ourselves down a stair case. If we accidentally take an extra dose of medication or vitamins - we don't swallow the whole bottle. If we snap irrationally at our spouse, we don't decide we might as well murder him in his sleep"
That was a great smile for the day....

Horsey and onesullengirl...you are right - one day at a time and focus on the future. I need to remember that.

rockinrobin-

"When the pain of being overweight outweighs the pleasure of eating, that is when motivation translates to action."

You are truly an inspiration. 165 lbs lost is so admirable and I know you worked so hard at it. I want this to be "the time" for me.

Thank you everyone.
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Old 06-26-2008, 04:19 PM   #15
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Reading this forum has been a huge help to me. When I'm feeling frustrated I get my determination back by reading posts from Rockinrobin and so many others. I can do it!!! Keep repeating that. My Oprah ahh haa moment was when the pain of being overweight outweighed the pleasure of food, just like Robin said!
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