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Old 06-14-2008, 02:01 PM   #1
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Default Just gotta vent

I just gotta vent for a moment.....The other day my mom called and told me she found some pics of me when my nephew was born (almost 7 years ago). So I got them from her. She said,"I though these could be inspirational pics, look how pretty you were back then." BACK THEN?????? Is she saying I'm not pretty now. She kept talking about how pretty my face was all thin. But, she couldn't tell that I have aged between now and then. Ok, that was before I got married and before I had two kids. My youngest is only 7 months. Give me a break! How dare her say anything like that to me. She has absolutely no room to talk, she's as big as I am! Ok, I feel better now. Thanks for letting me get it out.
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Old 06-14-2008, 02:39 PM   #2
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Try not to let them get you down. They just don't understand and think they are helping when actually they are causing you pain. Do the best you can and try to ignore their hurtful comments.
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Old 06-14-2008, 05:49 PM   #3
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I'd find some pics of her when she was 'young, thin, and pretty,' and show them to her, and say the same thing. But, then, I'm not a very nice person!
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Old 06-14-2008, 06:08 PM   #4
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I can see why you need to vent...just be sure that this doesn't lead yo to want to eat more. What she said was understandably hurtful and, I'm quite sure, untrue! She means well, and sometimes, people say horrible things out of good will. Stay focused on your goal and what YOU want...not any external forces. I feel your pain, though.
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Old 06-14-2008, 06:34 PM   #5
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Um...yeah. That sux.

Use that negative energy to your advantage. Show her just how a healthy lifestyle is done.
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Old 06-14-2008, 06:44 PM   #6
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My mom was also good at that. Also, about reminding me that our family has a certain odor and maybe I should look into using Mum deodorant. But, she really was just looking out for me. SHE LOVED ME!!! But, I still wear heavy duty men's deo and I have something like 15 bottles of White Shoulders perfume everywhere.(In my lunch bag, my car, bathroom, purse, bedroom, etc.)

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Old 06-14-2008, 08:04 PM   #7
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In a way, it keeps me motivated. I want to show her that I can lose weight, and do it in a healthy way. She keeps trying to lose, but she saves all her points from WW and binges at dinner. Last night, she and I went to the movies. She asked me numerous times, "are you sure you don't want any Jordan Almonds (my favorite)? I'll get them for you." I just told her to quit tempting me, I'm doing good. Thanks for all of your advice.
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Old 06-15-2008, 04:21 AM   #8
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its only too easy to put other people down....
and make them feel ****....
dont let it get to you....
take it with a pinch of salt....
its wor i try to do!....
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Old 06-15-2008, 04:37 AM   #9
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Mum's can be the bane of our life! I truly believe they don't realise sometimes how they come across, in between loving you and doing what they think is tough love to help you out they can be quite upsetting!

I had a similar incident a few years back, still didnt spur me though! Grrr.. I had been losing a little weight and was feeling quite good about myself and was all ready to go out for the night with my husband as my parents were babysitting. My step dad said to me in passing "Christ you're getting fat!"

I was heartbroken! Needless to say I didnt go out that night!

What I am going to do..is when I get healthy and reach my goal I am going to chat with my step dad and explain just how much he crashed my world that day... educate him when I am of a stronger mind to!

Well done for venting, its so much better to come here then the fridge.

Big hugs
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Old 06-15-2008, 08:38 AM   #10
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I think when people are thin and healthy they have what i call a 'glow' and maybe this is what shes taking about. I'm sure if she wanted to help inspire you she didn't mean to insult or so it's possible you're reading too much into it. Just step forward and do this for you.
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Old 06-15-2008, 08:39 AM   #11
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Ack, that was VERY tactless of her. I would have been hurt, too.
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Old 06-15-2008, 09:04 AM   #12
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English is not my Mom's first language. So sometimes the things she says are just odd! DH's Mom is just a simple farm girl and has never been one to search for the frilly way to say anything. I guess I've gotten used to them both.

I think the weirdest was my Mom. I was 122 lbs with around 20% BF and she said "Now if you could just get rid of that stomach!"
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Old 06-15-2008, 09:32 AM   #13
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Yeah I pretty much agree with the fact that its motherly language lol my mother does the same thing alot of the times ..ever since I back to when I can remember she would say things that really hurt my feelings and i couldn't believe it came from my mothers mouth of all people but I honestly believe I know my mother and she is not saying it to hurt my feelings I don't even think she realizes it ..I think she thinks that we are jsut comfortable enough to say those things to eachother and doesn't realize how sensative I really am about them ! .... partly my fault because I've never been open enough to just say "mom that really hurts my feelings" .... most of the things she comments about are things that she also has as flaws .. and my mom is a big one for " I don't want you to end up like me" .... and also she may just be looking back to remember you at that time in the picture thinking wow you were so beautiful! I think maybe she was commenting on your picture n ot trying to put your current appareance down but comment you on your picture also maybe she thought she was helping by giving you motivation to look at it .... I dont think she realized she was hurting your feelings maybe you should not be like me lol and talk to her about it I bet she would say she still thinks your the most beautiful girl in the world .... mothers are great that way! no matter what they always can see how beautiful you are ! my mother always makes comments about my teeth " did you brush your teeth today?" like im 7 years old ..... Im 26 !!!! that is sooooooooo aggrivating , or how thin i was before kids ( " you should stop drinking soda", or my nose! ( that one hurts the most Im sensative about my ugly nose lol ) and I swear its like a curse everytime shes going to come to visit I get a damn pimple!!!! and EVERYTIME she will say something like " wow thats a big pimple" are you washing your face good?" I know you cant turn off the fact that it hurts and it makes you feel ways and I think its ok to just let your self feel those things just dont feel that way forever .... because you jsut need to tell your self shes nhot trying to make me feel this way on purpose and if you need to ... confront her and tell her so that she knows ! you will feel alot better! your baby is only 7 months you definately don't have anything to feel guilty about at ALL ... just be patient and give your body time to find its pre-baby self! hehe mine is 2 and I still haven't found it! LOL.... ( I'm just now trying!) but they say it takes a 1-2 years even more for some people to get back ... I did not get back to normal after my first untill he was 4 years old in which time i got pregnant again!!!! so I only got about a 3 months to enjoy being skinny again haha hang in there!
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Old 06-15-2008, 03:02 PM   #14
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I just want to say thank you for everyone's wonderful advice and support

Last edited by xraygirl : 06-15-2008 at 03:02 PM.
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