I'm new here and wanted some other people's thoughts on this strange happening at work......
I started an internship 3 weeks ago, and it requires me to work nights. So I bring my dinner to work...there's a cafeteria and fast food places around, but I recently adjusted the way I'm eating (lotsa water, lotsa veggis, totallly healthy!!) and am trying to make a few lifestyle changes to get me fit and happy this year.
Because I work nights, I decided to make a huge batch of Vegetable soup (it's the best stuff and it's a lot better than frozen dinners!) and I brought it every night and it was great and easy. My second week I was interning in a different department during the days so I didn't see anybody from my home department for a while.
Then last week I was back in my department and my bf was out of town and I didn't feel like cooking meals for myself every night, so I made another batch of veggie soup.
Every night last week, my manager harassed me about what I was eating. Other people in my department go out and get burgers and fries, huge subs, disgusting fried crap and I'm the lone one, munching on my fruits and veggies.
Every night she'd make fun of me (she's in her mid to late thirties, I'm in my early twenties), and she's been a manager there for 10 years! Every night it was some joke or just bugging me about what I'm eating and by Thursday of last week I just came home and bawled.
At one point when she was cracking jokes about it, I said to her "At least I'm not eating a burger and fries every night, and if I was, would you bug me then? What I'm eating is really healthy." And she was like "Yeah, I guess." and then that shut her up....and then it started again the next day. This week I'm trying to figure out things I can make in large batches and not get harassed about. I'm taking pasta today...but deep down I'm just like "Uggh carbs!!", just so I don't get harassed. I want to tell her that she really upsets me, but I'm an intern an it just sucks.
This sounds really nitpicky, but I'm interning there for 8 weeks and I feel so uncomfortable around these people come dinner time. I'm just trying to make healthy changes in my life and lose the lasy 30 lbs and now I have complete strangers criticizing what I eat.
Sorry if this was a rant...but how rude is that?
Here I am trying to be healthy and strangers are trying to bring me down.
Jeez... what a drag! No doubt your manager has some, um, issues herself with food...
Look, just let it roll off. Don't lash out, that will just make things worse. Keep eating your good foods. Smile. Say you just like to bring your own, it costs less, and you like it. That's all you have to do.
It's only 8 weeks. Believe me, you can do anything for 8 weeks... even stay on plan!
That is so annoying! Workplace bullying is so commonplace and nothing good seems to be done about it. It seems like you have already stood up to this manager and yet, she continues. I doubt if she cares about your "vegetable soup" more than she cares to have the feeling of power over you. The best way to disempower people is to not give them what they want. It sounds like this manager wants to get a reaction out of you...be it the very smallest facial movement. It sounds childish, but I would suggest to completely ignore her and to try your best to have a "flat" expression on your face when she speaks to you and strike up conversations with other employees around you about something completely different. If this person makes fun of you, I'm sure she has ALSO harrassed others in the past and the safer people feel around you, the more you will not feel so alone in being bullied. Bottom line, this kind of rudeness and harassment should NOT be tolerated in the workplace.
I want to say that whether you are the brand new intern or the CEO it is not ok to be bullied at work, but too often I see people who take a stand against it are often the ones who are disposed of. And as a new intern you want to make a good impression and not "ruffle any feathers", which is frustrating because why does it seem "ok" for others to ruffle YOUR feathers? Interns are freshly skilled individuals that cost the company less money than other employees...they are a HUGE value to a company as much as the experience is a value to them! No company wants to look like a bad place for interns to work because they save so much money on them. Reporting this behaviour can be a difficult experience and I would suggest that if you choose to go this route that you stick to specific examples and be certain to ALSO report this to the school or organization which hooked you up with the internship so that organization can discuss whether or not to have relationships with a company who does not foster a healthy working environment. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but 1) good for you for sticking to healthy food, and 2) I promise you, that, in the end you will have a much thicker skin than you ever thought possible.
Good luck!
My latest thing with dealing with people is looking at them completely confused. Brow furrowed, eyebrow raised, mouth all contorted... whatever your confused look is. And not saying anything. Just being completely silent. It throws them off track and they don't talk to you for a while. Maybe it's not the complete reaction you want, but at least while they're not saying anything at all, they're not saying anything rude. Like someone said, it's only 8 weeks.
That is really ridiculous, I hate the idea of you not eating exactly what you want to eat just because some ninny can't keep her opinions to herself!
Take what you like, and just be really enthusiastic about it. If she comments, say, "I just LOVE veggie soup, it's simply my favorite thing!" Every time she makes a comment just smile and say the same thing. And don't let her get you down. She might think she's being clever instead of just a boring bully. But don't let her rule your food choices!
Argh, what an annoying situation. Maybe it's her grotesquely dysfunctional idea of small talk?
I love the idea of the puzzled face - that's my #1 strategy too, especially since my mordant wit only kicks in hours or days later, hehe . I'm trying to make my face say: "This is very fascinating, I'm eager to find out what your point is."
Don't take her bait! Don't defend yourself or make a case for yourself. Change the topic, or even (if you're in the mood for some fun) deliberately misinterpret her intentions: "Oh, would you like the recipe?"
One phrase I have used in the past for situations where I found myself inappropriately criticized and did not want to turn it into an argument was: "Thanks for your input." In a neutral to moderately friendly tone. And then - no more reaction.
Wishing you the best possible eight weeks! No matter what, you'll come out of it with some interesting new experiences...
First off that she is doing is rude!!! Second, I would just tell her straight out that it bothers you that they make fun of your food and you would appreciate it if she would stop. And dont change what you are eating because she is threated by your good food choices. She is picking on you because she knows she is making bad choices.
I wonder if she is putting you down because she knows, deep down, that she should not eat what she does. But, because it is easier to criticize somebody else (especially when the somebody else is different) than to change one's own habits. She sure has some a funny way of coping. The problem is with her, not with you.
Can you eat your lunches alone, somewhere? Or eat at a different time when the others have already finished? E.g. in my office, we can lunch pretty much any time but I know it is not possible everywhere.
Obviously you don't appreciate their comments but is there any chance that this is just a department where a lot of people like to give each other a hard time and you're just not getting the joke?
If it's a group of people that basically harass each other a lot but everybody is in on the fact that it's all in fun, they may actually be trying to include you in the group and you're not seeing it. There can be a lot of group dynamics that you don't see when you're new.
She is a bully , for sure. I would try to ignore her as much as I possibly could. The most I would say to her in response to her comments would be "Well , I am a big girl now and I get to decide what I want to eat. And this what I want tonite". But I think ignoring her is the best course of action.
I agree with Robin41. I'd probably treat it as a joke for that reason, and offer her some soup. I'd even make up some jokes myself about having an office raffle with the prize being the vegetable soup...or something to show I was a good sport and getting in on the ribbing.
I think that in many cases, what we seem to criticize in others are the same things we ourselves are uncomfortable with. Obviously, this woman has personal issues with food; if she was happy with her body, her diet and her lifestyle, why would she feel the need to pick on yours? I know it's tough to ignore, but you might want to try talking to her. Take her aside and express that it really bothers you when she says these things to you, whether she realizes or not. Maybe you can ask that she just avoids the topic of food altogether when talking to you - I'm sure that there are countless other subjects that would provide you with better conversation, and that would not lead to you getting your feelings hurt.
If that doesn't work, I would suggest the tried-and-true "kill 'em with kindness" approach. The next time she makes a mean-spirited joke about your meal, enthusiastically reply with how good it is, how it give you more energy, if she would like to try some, etc. When she sees that she can't get to you, she will probably stop.
Lastly, remember that you have done NOTHING wrong, and you shouldn't change your diet just to make someone else happy! It's your life, and you can eat what you d*** well please!
I agree with everybody here. Seems she has some issues herself....I'd try laughing it off as well and like the others said, offer her some.
I had a coworker that ate very very healthy, his wife was a dietician and now she is a nurse, also he was playing soccer on a team too. So he just told us that and we were ok with it, not that we had a problem with it to begin with, my DH just asked him one night why he ate what ate, because he is extremely thin, in a nice way, and that is what he said. So maybe explain to them that you are changing your lifestyle and are working towards being a healthier person and if she would like to try any of your dishes, she is welcomed too.
But keep your head up girl. People are just rude. Maybe ask her why she eats fastfood every day and does not cook? Turn it around on her. Sometimes people don't even realize how rude they are being.
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Last edited by Sassy_Chick; 05-06-2008 at 12:15 AM.
But keep your head up girl. People are just rude. Maybe ask her why she eats fastfood every day and does not cook? Turn it around on her. Sometimes people don't even realize how rude they are being.
Just be careful; considering that you're in the workplace, you don't want to create any more tension than is truly necessary. She is your superior, after all (jobwise). It is instinctive to want to attack her for attacking you, but if your goal is to "take the higher road" then brush off her rude comments with a more lighthearted attitude.
Why pick on the intern?
Like someone said, it's only 8 weeks. 
. I'm trying to make my face say: "This is very fascinating, I'm eager to find out what your point is."
