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Has family or friends ever made comments to you about your weight???

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Old 03-31-2008, 07:59 PM   #1
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Default Has family or friends ever made comments to you about your weight???

Has any of your family or friends made comments about your eating habits, weight, etc? I know they mean well and don't mean to be hurtful, but sometimes these comments can really painful. They are also so discouraging. For me, these comments just made me eat more, basically in defiance. For example:

One of my family members said "You really need to stop grazing." or they can be really smart about and comment on how healthy they are eating... indirectly saying "You should eat healthier."

I think it is extremely important for family and friends to realize that weight issues involve WAY MORE that weight. It is also an emotional struggle. They should be nothing but supportive and positive!

For anyone out there who knows what I'm talking about: DON'T LISTEN TO THEM! Weight issues are deeply personal and complex. Stay positive!
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Old 03-31-2008, 08:42 PM   #2
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thanks for saying that. i get it all the time "you have such a pretty face but..."
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Old 03-31-2008, 08:43 PM   #3
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Oy! Family comments are the worst! But the worst of the worse is those passive aggressive, "Look at my fabulous diet and I am super thin" comments you are referring to. It's like why don't you just say to me, "Hey, there fatty fat fat...look how perfect and wonderful and fabulous I am! Nananananana." It's like you wouldn't say to someone with acne, "you know, I wash my face at night and I have beautiful skin! You should try it!"
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Old 03-31-2008, 08:51 PM   #4
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Live it!! My mother, who has been on a diet for at least 50 years and I swear has probably lost and regained around 1,000 pounds is constantly making "helpful" comments, like I have no idea I'm overweight and need tips of the trade to get my act together!!! My mom and sister mentioned a few months ago -- why don't you try medications/surgery to lose weight -- like "we've given up on you, you should too!!". Drives me crazy, crazy, crazy. My husband -- bless his sweet soul -- told me yesterday "I can tell you are really serious about it this time because you still exercised during that time of the month" -- because apparently all the "other times" I used that for an excuse not to --- you know most of the people who say something are probably right, but I don't remember asking for their opinions!!!
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Old 03-31-2008, 08:57 PM   #5
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I can top this!
In the past three months, all of these things have been said/done to me by co-workers (I'm a pre-k teacher):
1) Are you pregnant or just fat?
2) Another teacher (who is wayyyy heavier than me) gave me a book called "Breaking the Weight-Loss Barrier." It now holds up my coffee table.
3) An older teacher from India (I'm describing her because I figured maybe her cultural background meant she was trying to be sweet and helpful) said to me," You used to be so pretty before you got married. What happened to you?"
I hope you all feel better about yourselves, lol! I got married less than a year ago, and apparently I've totally "let myself go!". I'm 6'0" and weighed 195 at the time. Granted, a little heavier than I should have been, but still not to bad.
AAUUGGHHH!!!
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Old 03-31-2008, 09:00 PM   #6
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Some woman I used to live near (definitely not a friend) saw me about 9 years ago (my oldest was a baby) -- I asked her about herself, etc. and her only comment to me was "see you got fat".
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Old 03-31-2008, 09:03 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chickybird View Post
I can top this!
In the past three months, all of these things have been said/done to me by co-workers (I'm a pre-k teacher):
1) Are you pregnant or just fat?
2) Another teacher (who is wayyyy heavier than me) gave me a book called "Breaking the Weight-Loss Barrier." It now holds up my coffee table.
3) An older teacher from India (I'm describing her because I figured maybe her cultural background meant she was trying to be sweet and helpful) said to me," You used to be so pretty before you got married. What happened to you?"
I hope you all feel better about yourselves, lol! I got married less than a year ago, and apparently I've totally "let myself go!". I'm 6'0" and weighed 195 at the time. Granted, a little heavier than I should have been, but still not to bad.
AAUUGGHHH!!!
yeesh! These were co-workers? How incredibly unprofessional of them! You should start buying them books about minding their own freaking business at work.
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Old 03-31-2008, 09:10 PM   #8
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Oddly enough, the last comment that I told you all made me laugh hysterically! When I told other teachers, and even my principal, they all guessed who it was, lol! I know she meant well. The weight loss book made me laugh too, because she gave it to 4 other teacher who are also overweight...
The "pregnant" question did make me cry a little. My best teacher friend offered to smack them for me, which did cheer me up
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Old 03-31-2008, 09:21 PM   #9
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Okay, so the rude co-worker reminds me of a comment I heard my sister say to someone on a school bus who was picking on me as a kid (I know, childish, but always makes me smile ) and I would love to use this on an adult someday -- "I can lose weight, too bad you will always be ugly!!"
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Old 03-31-2008, 09:24 PM   #10
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My aunt, who is heavier than me, made many bad comments about my weight when I was gaining. My brother's made some as well. I've been poked in the belly and all that stuff.
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Old 03-31-2008, 09:48 PM   #11
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I had a pregnancy scare about 2 months ago after I went off NuvaRing {it caused serious migraines, ouch}. When my TOM came, my mother said, "You know, you probably can't get pregnant. You've never been THIS HEAVY before."

><

On the flip side, I saw a friend I hadn't seen for a while. And while we were talking, he commented, "I know guys aren't supposed to mention this...but you've really lost a lot of weight. You look great!" Those kind of comments make me all warm and fuzzy inside.
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Old 03-31-2008, 10:02 PM   #12
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I am really astounded that folks make those kind of comments. That seems just so incredibly rude. Once in a while, I feel duty bound to comment (unasked and should be told to myob) about someone's smoking. I always say that if I can quit they can, and how many times I failed before finally succeeding. But, it may feel to them like I am criticising, even though I mean well. I just mention this because maybe????these folks mean well, even though they are the rudest people on earth.
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Old 03-31-2008, 10:10 PM   #13
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I had to go to a family members house the other day. My sister happen to be there. Now mind you I am no way near goal and even when I hit goal I am sure that goal is going to change ( maybe not ). I am not in shape yet. Exercise is the only way to get to where I want to be even after I have lost all the weight I still need to lose.

Having said all that. Any ( but 1 ) of the family members that said anything about my weight loss said I was looking like a stick and needed to get help fast because I think I still need to lose weight. I was floored. I just couldn't believe it. I heard I don't eat enough. Oh my gosh I eat from the time I get up until I go to bed to get the required amounts of the four basic food groups in. Just because I didn't fill my plate heaping full like they did ( some of them 2 and 3 times ) at dinner. Doesn't mean I don't eat enough.

My sister, bless her. Said I was looking great and she wished she had the will power and commitment to stick to eating right like I have to take off the weight.
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Old 03-31-2008, 10:15 PM   #14
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Had a friend say...

"You shouldn't bother losing weight. I mean...your body's weird. It would probably just look worse if you weren't fat."



And the worst family member comment was (this was from back in the day when I was like 9), "You know you don't really have a pretty face...you need to lose weight so you can at least have something."

I don't hate anyone but I dislike with a passion those who feels its fine to be rude to fat people.

And you know about the mean well thing...I can usually tell a difference. I've had people go "Oh this Crystal Light is so good, you should drink it instead of pop" or "Hey do you like aerobics? I have some old DVDs you might like".

It's just the rudeness and talking down to I hate.
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Old 03-31-2008, 10:34 PM   #15
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If it helps, cherryblossom, I'm in total and utter shock that anyone would say that to you, every time I see your avatar I think how pretty you are! I think it's strange that we live in a culture where you're far more likely to get told all about your faults than about your strengths.
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