I am feeling so depressed this two days it is killing me. I rarely get in this mood but this time I feel so bad. I wish I could just disappear forever.
I know I am an extremely lucky person. I have a great job (which I found just a month after my MA graduation, something extremely rare), with a good wage, parents and a sibling that love me and a few loving and supportive friends. Yet, I feel depressed.
I fear I am going to fail my students (a class of them, not all classes them). Their books are too difficult for their level but the institute I am working for refuses to rethink about the bookS, at least for this semester. I see my kids (aka my students) so frustrated and I feel I can't help them.
Also I feel my love life is always going to be so bad. I fear I am going to end up a lonely person that no one has ever cared for to fell in love with. I am sick and tired of going so unnoticed. I am sure I am not ugly and I know I have an interesting personality but I just feel that guys just look pass me as if I am invisible.
I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear.
And it is not PMS!
Last edited by preetyladyserenity; 10-14-2008 at 04:11 AM.
Hey sis,
I know sometimes life gets hard and we all have felt this way one time or another BUT it seems to me that once I hit the point that you have that that is when things always seem to turn for the better. I am sure there is a man out there just for you and that he is waiting and wishing for a good woman with a good family and heart, and you will find each other, I found mine and he was a produce guy in the supermarket I didnt think that would be where I found him but I am so glad I did. As for your family..you are so blessed to have both of your parents and even a sibling who loves you so much, I lost my mom when I was small and would love to have her in my life, so be sure to hug her as often as possible I am not sure what to tell you about your students as I have never been a teacher, but I was a youth group leader at our church once, and just being there with them and trying to help them makes a difference even when things are out of our control, they need you and I hope you know that deep inside. Your a beautiful person with a good heart and I am sure that today will be a new day. Sending you a BIG HUG
Oh sweet girl! I know what it is like to feel so down on yourself. Life is not an easy journey. But as hard as it is... and this is easier advice to give then to actually accept... do not be so hard on yourself. Like you said, you are SMART, you have a great personality and you are CERTAINLY not "ugly." Don't even say the word. A good man will come but as trite as it sounds... you have to love yourself first. Men can COMPLETELY see when a woman does not like herself, its a vibe that comes off very quickly.
I think its important to live your life knowing you would be ok if it were to on your own. Accept yourself and the good in your life and all those things will come! It sounds like you have accomplished so much!
It is very difficult not to feel alone. But the thing is, you're doing you're best and you're most certainly not the only person who has or does feel this way. I often look at people around me, so many people fall in love young marry and are divorced and alone at 30. A huge majority of people don't really meet who they consider 'the one' until they reach their 30's or 40s'. So don't worry about timing, and don't worry about men. It will all happen in due time, and worrying only makes matters worse. You're incredible, beautiful and kind and somebody will be attracted to that, you just need to give it time
Hey serenity! You're OK--you're just feeling down because life is what it is. Some days there isn't any "purpose" that we can see. But if you look around, you can find that there is a lot you're doing for the good--trying to help your students get through that book is only one!
Why would you want to disappear? Gosh, you're not a pair of shoes on sale that no one wants to buy... you're a precious human being with an amazing human life. Go out more with your supportive friends and your family. Enjoy the fruits of your good job. This is what life is about! Don't worry about men. Focus on yourself and your health and your weight loss efforts.
Feelings do come and go--they are not permanent--hang in there!
Hey, Serenety, just another virtual hug for you here! I'm sorry you are feeling so down and alone right now. Can you spare an afternoon to connect with something you love? Sometimes a walk in the woods or a through a museum or art gallery wil help me connect with beauty again. Sometimes a good haircut will, too- vain me! You have so much compassion and love to give, and such a generous heart- give some to yourself, too! And, my husband laughs and says that he only found me when he decided to take a break from looking for "the one", so it happens to guys, too!
First:
I have been where you are, and it sucks trying to get out of it. You came to the right place-we all are outside of where you are and able to see the truth: that you are a lovely, intelligent, worthwhile person. Just remember: this too shall pass. Think for today, not the past or the future. It used to help me to try to list at least one positive thing each day, no matter how small, and the next day, two things, and the following, three things. Sometimes it's a stretch, because you don't want to think of anything good and positive, but those good things are there. Even if the good thing is just the absence of something bad-it may help.
Just remember, we're here for you!
I just wanted to send you a hug. As for the work issue, remember it's not your fault that the texts are too advanced, that fault goes to the institute. You just do the best you can and feel good about that. That has to be frustrating I am sure.
As for the personal life issue, I firmly believe that you find your mate when you stop looking for him/her and just focus on yourself. Not in a selfish way, but in self-reflection, health, education, spiritual, etc. sort of way. It seems when people are focusing all of their attention on finding someone else, they lose themselves. You will attract people to you when you feel confident, and sometimes that takes time you know?
I am feeling so depressed this two days it is killing me. I rarely get in this mood but this time I feel so bad. I wish I could just disappear forever.
and more Know that you are not alone.
Quote:
I know I am an extremely lucky person. I have a great job (which I found just a month after my MA graduation, something extremely rare), with a good wage, parents and a sibling that love me and a few loving and supportive friends. Yet, I feel depressed.
I feel the same way sometimes, I have a wonderful job, and a wonderful family, and friends, but I know something is "missing"
Quote:
Also I feel my love life is always going to be so bad. I fear I am going to end up a lonely person that no one has ever cared for to fell in love with. I am sick and tired of going so unnoticed. I am sure I am not ugly and I know I have an interesting personality but I just feel that guys just look pass me as if I am invisible.
I could of typed this paragraph myself too. I have never had a long term bf, have gone out on a few dates, but with nobody I see myself with long term. Only difference is I feel like guys see me as ugly, ( even tho, I look in the mirror and see an ok looking girl ) regardless with what guys tell me....I feel like if I can't stand to see myself naked, how can I expect anyone else to. I know this is a very silly way of thinking, and I work on it daily. I pretend to have high self esteem, when in reality, it prob dips in the neg numbers. The only thing that really keeps me going is my family, friends, and work. There are many days where I wish I could just stay in bed and let the day slip away, but work keeps me from doing that, and for that, I am very thankful. Hang in there hon, things will get better!
I am very depressed, I feel there is no meaning!
I didnt think that would be where I found him but I am so glad I did. As for your family..you are so blessed to have both of your parents and even a sibling who loves you so much, I lost my mom when I was small and would love to have her in my life, so be sure to hug her as often as possible 
I am not sure what to tell you about your students as I have never been a teacher, but I was a youth group leader at our church once, and just being there with them and trying to help them makes a difference even when things are out of our control, they need you and I hope you know that deep inside. Your a beautiful person with a good heart and I am sure that today will be a new day. Sending you a BIG HUG 
