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Old 03-16-2008, 03:13 PM   #1
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Unhappy I'm so frustrated !!!!!

I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm 30, 5'8'', and I'm the heaviest i've ever been.... 345. I work full-time during the day and make dinner for my husband and myself afterwards an I'm just exhausted all the time. i have no energy to exercise and my knees and lower back hurt all the time. how do i lose weight? I hate feeling this horrible. i'm not happy at all like this but yet i'm stuck. i need help bigtime
Any thoughts?
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Old 03-16-2008, 03:21 PM   #2
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Hiya Softykins!

How about starting small? Changing something, anything, that will make this journey easier for you.

So... you say you're cooking dinner for yourself & your husband. What are you making? Maybe you could make sure that you have a full serving of vegetables with every dinner you make. And you could do that for a week or two before trying to change another thing.

Perhaps you'd prefer to know what you're eating? Take a notebook with you, and write down everything that you eat for a day. No judging or changing yet, just watching & observing. That gives you a good basis for change later on, and it's a good habit to start.

Are you drinking enough water? Sometimes we're hungry when we're really thirsty. It's good to make sure we're getting in the water that we need for a day. It's one of the easiest changes to make (IMO) and it does make a difference.

You CAN do this.
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Old 03-16-2008, 03:34 PM   #3
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My first bit of advice is to start small. Sometimes, we when we want to lose weight, we want to get gung ho with it and we poop out with frustration before we even start!

Tracking food -- and actually knowing what you're eating -- is huge! It really opens your eyes to what you're eating and allows you to keep track of your fruit and veggies.

Water is a small change that is pretty simple to put into play, if you're concious of it. If you're a soda drinker, this might be a little harder -- but it can be done. (And if you are a soda drinker, switch to diet for the time being to wean yourself off the sugar, and later (if you choose) you could wing yourself off diet -- but you'll definitely find yourself cutting down on the soda in order to get your water in).

I know you don't have any energy and that your body is in constant pain, but get moving. The easiest way to move is to take more steps in your busy day. Park away from the doors at stores. Take stairs. Every little bit helps. Then, work your way up to walking...taking actual walks. Start small -- 5 minute walks. Then 10 minute. These first few walks are going to be hard and frustrating and you're probably thinking 'Why bother?' but they WILL get easier and you'll slowly build strength and endurance and you'll be able to walk further and longer.

Soon, you'll begin to see your energy levels increasing as well as your waist shrinking.

You can do it, sweetie. Just take it one day at a time...one step at a time.
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Old 03-16-2008, 03:38 PM   #4
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Hey Kristy - I hear you with the tiredness, I was tired all the time when I was overweight. I used to fall asleep in my office every afternoon at work and I was a zombie on the couch by 9pm or so!

At least you already cook! So many people hate doing anything in the kitchen, you have that going for you

Eating to lose weight is at the heart pretty basic - eat smaller portions, eat more plants, avoid fast foods, fried foods, alcohol, creamy foods and packaged baked goods. Eat lean proteins, complex carbohydrates (sweet potatoes whole wheat pasta whole wheat tortillas quinoa), low fat dairy, lots of fruits and vegetables and healthy fats (walnuts, salmon, avocado, olive oil) everyday. Eating healthy doesn't have to taste bad or boring or bland - I make some awesome stuff - super spicy healthy chili, maple-glazed salmon, delicious home made pizza, home made pasta sauce - my basic rule is 30 minutes/2 pots.

Healthy eating made a huge change in how I FELT (and later - how I looked). Exericse is a great weight-loss component, but what/how much you eat is even more critical. It's a lot easier to NOT eat a 500 calorie muffin than to try to burn 500 calories via exercise (the muffin is just an example).

Portion control is really key - read labels, get a food scale, buy some gorgeous measuring cups (I saw some really pretty powder blue ones that looked like little coffee cups, I wanted them so badly), buy smaller plates, smaller bowls. After 3 years, I STILL measure oatmeal, salad dressing, nuts, cereal, rice, pasta, cheese - I just can't eyeball those items!!

If you eat better, you will FEEL better!
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Old 03-16-2008, 03:44 PM   #5
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I am exhausted, move slow and feel disappointed all the time -but just 30 minutes of exercise and a day of "good eating" make me feel completely different.

Like everyone else said, "little changes". You don't need to lose 50 pounds to start feeling better, I bet your first day helps. And, if your husband is willing to join in, that would make it that much easier .

The trick is to just get started on something, work slow and you will soon be in the swing of things. No one says it's easy but it is so worth it!!

Good luck.
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Old 03-16-2008, 04:11 PM   #6
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for me weight watchers saved my life. i couldn't do it on my own. i needed the structure of the point system (flex plan) i need that food journal to track everything that i put in my mouth; i too couldn't exercise right away because of my size, it just hurt to much. i was able to lose the first 50 lbs without any exercise, all i did was learn the program and follow the healthy eating guidelines and i can honestly tell you i have never once gotten hungry or felt deprived of food. thats not to say there arent a dozen other great programs to follow because i KNOW there are. there are success stories all over the 3fc forum.
goodluck to you. the first step is ALWAYS the hardest. hang in there, you can do it
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Old 03-16-2008, 04:25 PM   #7
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Kristy, you have already made a great start. As you lose you will be able to exercise more, for now can you walk a little , take the stairs, not the elevator. You can do this just realize it won't happen overnite. It is fortunate that you are the cook in your house. Stay away from fried foods and sugary desserts,keep bread at a minimum.
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Old 03-16-2008, 04:46 PM   #8
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Hey Kristy!

Yes... you feel exhausted because you're overweight, and you're overweight because you can't get enough exercise, because... you're overweight! And around it goes.

You have to find a way out. Some ideas: The local YMCA may have water aerobics classes for overweight people--or other gyms/recreational facilities in your area may also have them. This type of exercise is low impact and will help you use your muscles.

What about an exercise bike? Do you have room in your home for one? This is another low impact way to start becoming stronger and fitter. (Be sure to try a few out, because not all work well for everyone. I can't use a recumbent bike, for example. And you would want one with a good seat.)

Elliptical machines also are easier on the knees, but not necessarily easier on the back than just walking.

Your local Y may have these machines as well as classes.

Walk Away The Pounds is a video exercise program you can do in your home. Start slow, and stop if you are feeling pain or getting out of breath.

Be sure you have GOOD, NEW athletic shoes for doing any exercise.

Finally--and this probably should have been first--check with your doctor about your physical condition and what exercises would be safe for you to do. Because of your size, just walking across a room is hard work, so it's best not to overdo anything.

I also agree about trying a program like Weight Watchers. Is your husband overweight? Perhaps you could do the program together.

Good luck! There are ways to get started!

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Old 03-16-2008, 04:58 PM   #9
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My favorite column in the New York Times recently had a piece about how sometimes exercise can lead to increased energy, as counterintuitive as that may be. You can check it out here:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/0...more-exercise/

In my personal experience, this has been really true. While I sometimes feel really "beat" after a hard workout, it's NOTHING compared to how I felt before I started getting consistent exercise. I was constantly feeling half-asleep, never alert, and always in a terrible, rotten mood. Sometimes it takes a little bit before the energizing effects of exercise to start kicking in, but I think if you start slowly you'll be pleasantly surprised at how good it feels. I also think it's a good idea if you look for ways to get movement in that you really enjoy, things that you won't see as a "chore". Like if your way to relax now if to watch TV on the sofa, try replacing that with a walk around the block (or Walk Away the Pounds, if you can't go outside), a belly-dancing video (or salsa or other social dance if your husband wants to get involved), a little Dance Dance Revolution (can also play with your husband or if you have kids), even Wii Sports if you do all the movements with your whole body instead of cheating and just moving your wrist (it's less fun to do smaller movements anyway). There are lots of options to get started!
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Old 03-16-2008, 05:27 PM   #10
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Hi Kristy,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so tired.
You did not say anything about lunches at work - make sure you bring your own lunch, instead of eating out - not only you will save money, but you will also know what went into the meal (cook large batches of stuff and freeze lunch portions).
Try to go for a walk during lunch time - hopefully you are less tired then - and have your lunch when you return to your desk.
You will soon feel better!
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Old 03-16-2008, 05:54 PM   #11
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Hi Kristy!

You got tons of great advice already...one other lil piece of info I found useful when I was starting on this journey - to look at my dinner plate as being 4 equal parts. 1 part lean protein (like grilled skinless chicken or baked fish or pork tenderloin) 1 part starch (like sweet potato or corn or a roll) and 1/2 the plate is veggies (a salad with a little low fat dressing or steamed veggies - there are too many kinds to list).

I especially agree with logging what you eat - and starting with walking or biking. It sounds funny but exercise gives more energy - it just takes a bit of getting used to.

We're glad you are here - keep asking questions!!
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Old 03-16-2008, 05:56 PM   #12
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I feel your frustration, and your lack of energy. All the other post had great ideas. I haven't been on here long but so far I've gotten some really great advice off this forum. And you're cooking your meals that is great, I wish I had that habit There are people on here who have lost huge amounts of weight and are keeping it off. Make small changes, continue to cook your meals, and stay on this forum. I know its really helping me.
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Old 03-16-2008, 06:36 PM   #13
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You say you are over 150 lbs overweight by your goal, IMAGINE THIS... carrying around two dumbbells, both 75 lbs! How tired you'd be in your daily life? I'm still a bit overweight but even knocking almost 20 lbs, I have more energy. After I had my boy I was at my highest in life, over the 200 lb mark, I couldn't move, was exhausted, and was emotional as well. It was exhausting to just get through a day. Now that I'm eating healthy and exercising I'm amazed at the energy. I'm an older mom and I have to have energy for my little boy although I lost my marriage to stress, fighting, emotional swings. I was extremely unbalanced. I think BALANCE is key, it's not just about dieting but finding a calmer, more relaxed way to live. When you are mindful, slowing down you'll naturally want to eat better foods. Instead of running from A to B and feeling exhausted if you can find some balance in your life, you'll relax. Relaxation is key to losing weight and feeling healthy I think. My life was out of control, so was my weight - I think there's a direct correlation. I'd take a look at what you can do to slow down, if at work you can take some breaks, bring your own "healthy" lunches, go for walks, etc. Then at home see what you can do to simplify your life, your kitchen included. Start buying foods that will help you and your family relax and be healthy. Junk food does the opposite, it makes us crave sugar, more junk, and thus we eat more. If you decide to "really" do this you can, but you have to make a firm choice to "move on" to a healthier lifestyle, physically, mentally and spiritually, not just physcially.
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Old 03-16-2008, 07:19 PM   #14
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Thanks for your advice, gals.
I really appreciate it tremendously. I don't know where to start with replying here. I think I'll just dive right in. My husband is of an average weight (lucky bum) and has no problems with gaining weight. He is worried about me, though. I'll attach a picture of us, which was last May (our wedding).
You know, I think you are right about taking the stairs - at least I could do that when I get home from work. We live in an apartment - only 3 floors up, though, but that's a start, right? As for an exercise bike or any other exercise equipment, there is hardly any room in this apartment of ours.
I joined a gym before but I just stopped going because the only time I could go is before work, in the morning and I was so tired and rushed. It was hard. I think as the weather gets better I will attempt to go for walks at lunchtime with a friend of mine at work.
Thanks again for your support - and remember to check out the picture I'm attaching!

P.S. - I've tried a lot of programs, (ie. WW, Slimfast, Body for life, etc.), with no success. I guess that's why I feel so frustrated.
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File Type: jpg KristyMike.jpg (89.3 KB, 85 views)
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Old 03-16-2008, 07:28 PM   #15
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The two of you are so beautiful! Great picture!

Don't give up, Kristy! Even if you've tried things before, you can always try again. Some of us have tried many, many times before we succeeded!

Jay
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