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Old 03-02-2008, 11:30 PM   #1
Changing for me!
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Location: Miami, Fl
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Default hating myself

im sure im not the only one atleast i hope not. i just hate the way i look and feel nothing fits me the other day my black dress pants were missing i had a funeral 2 attend and i went and bought some my ususal size DID NOT FIT ME i bought my first pair of size 14 and tried on a 16 and bursted out in tears in the dressing room! this morning my mom as soon as we sat down 2 breakfast started the whole diet talk and wants me 2 go on this diet with this dr a friend of ours did n looks amazing but its super expensive n i dont know the details when i do ill share them with you guys and im just like ok mom. my bf told me the whole way to the movies 2night ur beautiful n i keep denying it i hate how i look. my mom gave me a hassle about eating when i got out of the movie i hadnt had dinner yet and once again ibroke down i hate the way i feel look and i dont want to be like that i know it doesnt happen over night but i need some help on things i can do to make me feel good about myself any ideas>?
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Old 03-02-2008, 11:35 PM   #2
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Location: New England
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When I'm feeling down, I put on make up. Just for myself. Alone. At night. And I think about how pretty I look.

Focusing on my details helps. I get to stare at my gorgeous eyes,... my cute nose... my plump lips...

Soon enough, I'm feeling better.

Maybe focusing on some of your cute details will help you out for a few.

Just remember that you have an amazing human body that is capable of SO MUCH. Every movement is astonishing.
~Made of star stuff~
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Old 03-02-2008, 11:39 PM   #3
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Last line - "To make me feel good about myself" -- remember, it's all about you!! Not others opinions of you (however, I do like your boyfriend -- because he's nice!!). Personally, I've gone from a size 10 or 12 up to my current size 20 -- you should be proud of yourself for catching it now.

My mom's insecurities about her weight always seemed to affect me -- when she was upset with herself, she would displace it to me. Also, maybe your mom is just worried about/trying to "help" you. Either way, thank her and let her know you are going to do what it best for you. Find a plan you enjoy/can stick to and get to work !!

to you -- you can do this!!!

Weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint.
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Old 03-03-2008, 10:14 AM   #4
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Location: Illinois
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It is hard, I know it. I've felt it, and even now, 50 pounds down I can still feel it.

What helps me is to go through what I have achieved. Bit by bit. How I am a great friend, a great wife, a great scholar that has a crooked tooth but still a great smile.

And if all else fails I go to Walgreens a couple of blocks away and buy myself cheapy nail polish and everything for a manicure/pedicure. Or I'll get some nice lotions for my hands and legs. It's those little things that make me feel a lot better.

Good luck!!!

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Old 03-03-2008, 10:35 AM   #5
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these girls are right... nothing makes you feel better than pampering and admiring yourself. We all want to lose weight to be healthier and feel better about ourselves. But to fall into the trap of thinking that beauty is only for those size 6 and under is detrimental to all of our self esteems. When we all get bombarded by the media frenzy of "thin is in" we tend to lose sight of what REAL beauty is. Whenever I feel like this, I remind myself of women that I think are beautiful that don't fit the mold... Jennifer Hudson, Queen Latifa, America Ferrera... those are some truly stunning women, and they aren't 120 lbs. Remind yourself that beauty is really how you feel about yourself on the inside, and pamper yourself. Enjoy it- you deserve it.

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Old 03-03-2008, 10:49 AM   #6
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Awe, sweetie, wish I could hug you, seeing that I can't, here's a cyber hug.

Get your mind off of it. Do a fun hobby- do you like to paint? Draw? Do puzzles? photography? crafts? Do something enjoyable to take your mind off the stress of losing weight.

I know how hard it is to have family on your case at every turn- they did it to me when I was growing up. My Mom and brother were always on my case, and it hurt. Every time i see my elderly aunt, who has alzheimers, she gets on my case for my weight loss (funny, she forgets a lot of things, but not how heavy I've been most of my life!).

You're doing this for YOU. Not anyone else. Read all over this board on great weight loss tips. Put together a plan of action that is comfortable for you to do. See my You Tube post on this board- something I am sure you'll enjoy, being young. Get up and move- dance to your favorite music or walk/jog to it. Nothing makes you feel better than exercise, as it releases feel good chemicals to your brain and it reduces stress (this is the truth, it really does work!).

Start tracking your calories, but be smart about it- don't go down too low just to try to lose too fast- that's not healthy and sets you up for a lifetime of binging and will mess with your metabolism. Find the correct calorie amount you need to start losing in a healthy manner. Lots of veggies and fruits, 2-3 proteins a day (one serving of meat protein is the equivalent to a deck of cards). On a nine inch dinner plate, at least half should be filled with veggies, one portion protein, one portion starch (rice, pasta, dinner roll- small portion, of course).

Hang in there. We're all here for you, ok? Just keep posting here- no one will judge you here, and we'll all give you the encouragement you need to succeed on your weight loss journey!

The Wendie Plan in Calories:

One for each ten pounds lost-

Last edited by Steelslady : 03-03-2008 at 10:51 AM.
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Old 03-03-2008, 11:06 AM   #7
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Height: 5'3"


I am one who thinks that all the emphasis on the "outside," on "looking better," is misplaced--but even so, overweight is overweight and needs to be addressed.

For me, getting new nail polish or makeup would be the last thing that would make feel better. They have never been part of my life!

So for me, it would be--getting outside myself and my little world and worries. That might mean--reading something positive or uplifting--meditation or prayer--going out in nature, maybe even just to a park I like, or going for a drive to see the sights. Reminding myself that the universe is very, very big and I am really small--and life is something to be treasured!

You sound young, Happy Penguin, and this is a great time to lose weight and keep it off. It doesn't get any easier! A doctor-supervised program might be good, but you would have to stick with it like glue or it would be a waste of money and time. Find out all you can about your options! And be glad your mom wants to help you--it isn't always like that in families...

You can do it!

"My religion is kindness." --His Holiness the Dalai Lama

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Old 03-03-2008, 11:17 AM   #8
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First of all We've all felt this way at some point, and we all know how you feel. I'm sorry you're feeling down. There is a lot of good advice from these ladies on how to be kind to yourself, so you should take their advice. Also, I would like to add one thing. Take this feeling that you have right now, and turn it around. Use it as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block. Let it be the start of a new you. Just tell yourself that a year from now, you'll be in a different place emotionally and even physically. Start from here and come up with your OWN plan to be a better you, and a slimmer, healthier you. You can do this and we are here cheering you on! Hope you feel better soon.
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Old 03-03-2008, 12:33 PM   #9
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Aside from all the other great advice here, I would say don't pay so much attention to size labels in stores!

Sizes vary from label to label, store to store, and even two identical pairs of size 14 jeans from the same label may not have the same fit!

So, in one store you might be an 18, and in another store you might be size 16!

If you can remind yourself about this when shopping, it makes things a little easier when you have to buy a size larger than you thought you wore.

Don't get me wrong: I absolutely HATE being a size 20, but when I try on a dress or something in that size and it doesn't fit, I don't automatically freak out because I know about how inconsistant sizing is in clothing.

Last edited by Apple Cheeks : 03-03-2008 at 12:34 PM.
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Old 03-03-2008, 01:32 PM   #10
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Happy Penguin,
First let me say you have a great boyfriend in your life! You mom sounds like she just wants to help. There are things you can do now to start off a diet and they will help you feel good about yourself.

Start with getting rid of the white starches, sugar and lower you salt intake.
Second, get moving. That's what I do when I have a day like you are having. I go to the gym and workout like a mad woman obsessed! The endorphins are reaaaalllly good!
Make sure to drink you 6-8 glasses of 8oz of water.
I also swear by writing down everything you eat! I do! I start that for a few days then review it to see where I can make improvements. Maybe it's more veggies and fruit or more lean protein.

Botton line...what makes me feel good on those days is knowing that I'm doing everything humanly possible to get and stay healthy, fit, lean and slim!

Hang in there!
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:59 PM   #11
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Happy Penguin, I can definitely relate to these feelings. I am at the beginning of my final weight loss journey in my life and THIS TIME I am not going to fail regardless of how long it takes me. The reason I know this is because after years of failed attempts I have finally come to the discovery that I hate the fat on my body, but I do not hate myself, and I am learning to actually love myself. There are definitely aspects about you that are lovable! I know you only by that one post, but I can definitely say, without a doubt, going by your post you must be a very strong person. Strength is definitely a lovable quality. Discussions about dieting started by a loved one (especially by a parent) can be so hurtful because they rarely come off like they are concerned with our health, but often come off that they are disappointed with us as people due to the fat on our bodies. For a long time my parents' comments stopped me from losing weight. I would be so angry if they commented on my weight loss because, I would think "Oh does THIS make you love me?" and I would stop exercising and would shove unhealthy amounts of food into my mouth out of spite! Parents just don't want life to be any harder on us then it has to be and children just want to make their parents proud. For me, I had to tell my parents I would not tolerate discussions about my weight because if I was going to do this I was going to do it for me! This has helped because I see how proud of me my parents are and that they DO see me as a good person and REALLY WERE just concerned with my health. I know that is going on and on, but I just want to share how I can relate. Good luck!
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Old 03-03-2008, 06:13 PM   #12
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i just want to tell you guys thank you for all the hugs reading your posts have really brought a smile 2 my face
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