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Old 02-14-2002, 03:02 PM   #1
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Unhappy Please help me...

I don't know quite how to use this site and this is as close to a cry for help as I've ever gotten. I weigh almost 400 lbs. and I am a single mother. I received a notice yesterday about going to court for custody of my daughter from the abusive creep I allowed myself to be with for seven years. The court date is scheduled for seven months from now and I need to lose weight. I'm scared to death of having a heart attack. I am 30 years old and need help getting this together. I need to know there's support out there so I don't fail to try to reduce my weight. I am an emotional eater and I've never felt more emotional that I do right this moment. A month ago I moved from my original state because he attempted to kidnap my child. I have no friend here, can't find a job and am about to embark on the hardest endeavor ever, when I feel the least strong. Is there anyone who understands this or am I babbling? All of the personal stuff I can deal with as it happens, but the weight loss is something I've half-heartedly battled my whole life, it is the dragon I must slay at the moment in order to know I am strong enough to handle everything else.
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Old 02-14-2002, 03:12 PM   #2
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Dear Sus.....May I say..."Holy Cow" do you ever have a lot on your plate...(no pun intended) I believe you are right in the fact that yes, you do need to get a check on the weight loss issue. Alot of us here are trying to do that, especially the 'emotional eating' aspect. Ihave been coming here for over 1 year now, and truly think of this forum as a haven with lots of friends to help me on my journey. I guess my one advice for you would be to stay strong and committed. Regardless of how much you have/want to lose, the journey is a long and hard one. It took along time for you to be the weight you are, so it only stands to reason it will take a long time for it to come off. The safe amount to lose is the slowest....2lb per week. Sometimes the weight will come off fast (water retention) and sometimes it will be slow or non-existent. I'm saying this to you NOT to be negative but to be REALISTIC. You can come here often for motivation...(***strongly suggest), get recipies, visit chatroom and join some of the thread topics that appeal to you. Another great site to visit is www.dwlz.com
I find the more weight loss information, success stories, recipies, and FRIENDS you 'arm' yourself the better the battle. Good luck with your journey and hope to see you on the boards!!
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Old 02-14-2002, 04:26 PM   #3
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Talking YOU CAN DO THIS

Hi Sus... First off let me give you a {{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}} and say you came to the right place for some support. My heart goes out to you with your present situation.

There are many different groups on this web site that would welcome you onto their thread and you can get and give support there and be surprised how quickly you will develope cyber friends. We all need friends and here is a great place to form friendships. Doing this with people who have eating problems and weight to lose is much easier when you have a support group.

Read some of the diffrent threads here that interest you and don't hesitate to jump right in and say hello and introduce yourself. I guarantee you will be welcomed.

I wish you the best in your journey down this road to thin.

And HAPPY VALENTIENS DAY TO YOU
Maggie
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Old 02-14-2002, 05:02 PM   #4
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SUS,
My heart goes out o to as well. I have never been where you are but I feel your pain. I too like Angel-eyes have been coming here for a little over a year. the ladies (and gents) are great and will support you all the way through.

I agree that there are a lot of plans to choose from and one of the best things to do is read the treads. Your journey to good health will take awhile, but your daughter is worth it. She and you are much more important than the food.

I do have to say that I think you need to see a Dr. before you start anything. you have a lot of weight to loose and although it is doable you need to have that suport too and make sure that you can do what you want to do. I am not a big fan of medication but you may be a canidate for merida or something like that, combined with a WW program or any program should be great. There is a poster named Nikolas who is doing just that and doing well. She post under Merida (diet plans).

The last thing I will say is come here and come here often. Many of us go to chat to keep out of the kitchen and I think( tell me it is ture AE) I have made some really good friends. I have met one in real life and another it is just a matter of time. You may even find someone located near you to find the support you need at home.

You have friends here wether you know it or not.

Be good to yourself and be well,
-L

Last edited by L144S : 02-14-2002 at 11:21 PM.
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Old 02-14-2002, 05:41 PM   #5
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Sus,
You've come to the right place - I agree with everyone, come here OFTEN. You'll never meet a more helpful group. I also agree with seeing your Dr. or nurse practitioner before you start, just to be safe. They may even be able to help you cope with the extreme emotions you're having right now. My Dr. put me on Xanax short term just so I could handle being in the same room as my ex during court.
You need to do this for YOU first and foremost. Do it for the strength it's going to give you, the self-esteem, the "I can do ANYTHING" feeling. Do it to live longer, take care of your daughter and yourself. DON'T do it for that looser to see you look better or for a judge that I hope and pray will see through the abusive creep's custody b.s.

I'm SO sorry you're having to go through this. In '99 when I left my husband and moved 500 miles away, my entire world came crashing down. Thankfully we didn't have kids, but we still had the face off in court (over a dog no less, and money). I want you to be able to go into that courtroom in 7 months, with your head held high and fight like mad. Eating better and loosing what you can between now and then will definately make you feel like you're up to the task. You can do this!!

Feel free to email me any time.

Terri
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Old 02-14-2002, 06:55 PM   #6
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Hi Sus!

I wanted to tell you CONGRADULATIONS!!!! You took the first step girl!!!!! That is half the battle!

I agree that you should do this for you and your daughter not that jerk! Don't let yourself get stressed about trying to loose a bunch of weight before the court appointment in 7 months. Just know that you have to go and focus on your daughter. That is the only thing that matters when you go to court.

You have to separate your diet from that. They have nothing to do with one another.

Focus on your diet for YOU! Think of this as a new start! Your 30's could be the best time of your life, heck maybe you will even end up on Oprah!

I know for a fact that once you start seeing the scale drop you will feel sooooooo much better! And you will feel like you are able to handle more in your life. YOU are the one in control! Take charge of yourself and make it happen! Tell yourself it's not an option to have pizza etc. Don't play the mind games of maybe just one piece won't hurt. IT'S NOT AN OPTION!

For me thinking this way takes allot of the stress out of loosing weight. I know that when I am able to have self control one day, the next morning when I wake up it feels good to get out of bed and know that I really can do it! And when you fall off of the wagon, get back on the very same day! Don't wait till Monday.

What do you have in mind for a plan? There are so many options out there to choose from.

The one I am doing is soooooo easy, and I got it from a Doctor. It was designed for people that have an exceptional amount of weight to loose. It's healthy, and right away heartburn goes away, and you have more energy! You can also eat as much as you want. The key to this diet is that there are some foods you can have and some that you can not. It's a no brainier. And the weight just falls off. Even with out exercise. Of course check with your Doctor fist though

Here it is in short. If you want to know any details just let me know ok.

NO LIST:
-----------
Butter or oil
Corn
Pea’s
Nuts
Grains or rice
Flower
Red meat or pork
Sugar cane sugar (the sugar in fruit is ok)
Pinto beans
Dairy

YES LIST:
------------
Any fruit
Any veg
Chicken
Fish
Eggs
Butter flavor-cooking spray
Any other type of beans
100% juice
Salsa
Grits


This diet is truly amazing! You will not believe how fast the weight comes off, and with this diet it's healthy to loose fast. I make allot of soup, eggs and hash browns, baked chicken with veg, shrimp kabobs and I make slouches with fresh fruit all of the time too. mmmmmm You can eat as much as you want, any time you want to eat it. Some days I have 6 eggs! Chicken salad with hard boiled eggs and chick peas are good too! I have a ton of recipes I can give you if ya want to give it a try. Let me know.


Sorry for writing a book everyone! Didn't mean to make this post so long. Hope I was of some help to you. Looking forward to seeing you again in here! Stick with it! And find something that works for you.
feffy

235/215/128(87 pounds to go! )
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Old 02-14-2002, 09:19 PM   #7
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Hello, Sus! Just wanted to add my agreement with the previous posters that you really are handling a lot of things right now and maybe a doctor can help you on your weight loss journey. You are to be commended for having the wisdom to see that getting the weight off will help in so many ways. Good luck.
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Old 02-14-2002, 11:40 PM   #8
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Dear Sus-
I am not able to say it any better than the ladies who preceeded me. I agree with them all- keep posting!!!!!!!!! This site has been such a blessing to me~ allowed me to vent, be human etc...
I have made some wonderful friends here, dear ladies that I am honored to share a thread or two with.
Find a thread that you are comfortable with and POST!
May God bless you on your weight loss journey and thru your present trials.
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Old 02-15-2002, 08:09 PM   #9
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Hi Susyby the sea
I used to live in Redcar By the sea
There is no easy way to say this but you are going through **** at the moment, and its not going to get better over night, I am only a new member here, but you can see by the vilume of posts that are on here, just what a great site it is.
I have been going through **** for a long time too, a different sort to you, and about seven weeks ago I started my journal and posted it on the net, it was all about my challenge to lose weight and also my life coping with my childrens drug addictions.
It was the best thing I ever did, it has made me come to terms with my weight problems and it also helps me cope with everything else. I suppose its a bit like hanging your dirty washing out in public but whatever helps you on your road you have to try. you don't have to publish yours just keep a small diary.
Good luck in everything you do and think positive
Pam
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