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Old 02-16-2008, 08:51 PM   #1
Journey to New Self!
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Default Feeling Down Because Im Big..Always

Good Points: Just joined an all women's gym and have been going faithfully almost everyday from 1.5-2 hours; Im a college senior (Psyc & CRJS) and work for my state gov't; huge compassion for people; in love with 1940's style and fashion

Bad Points: My perception is filtered through my self-concept of me being big. I've been big all my life, and I've learned to discquise my true feelings. This year I now realizing how serious I feel, and it hurts to deal with feeling down because of how I look. I am single and I think it is because of how I look...I dont even feel attractive, even on days where I feel 1/2 way decent. I've never been diagnosed with depression but I know for sure the feelings are there. If I could be smaller (not skinny) I would be happier...even if I were like 40 lbs smaller I'd be happier.

Watching Biggest Loser motivates me..and I hope this site will also..
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Old 02-16-2008, 09:02 PM   #2
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I think everyone has felt the way you feel, I looked beautiful at my sons wedding but i felt FAT. I had so many compliments but i didnt feel pretty.
Check out the depression forum. They really seem like a bunch of wonderful people. What diet are you doing. I am counting calories...feel free to come to our site also.
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Old 02-16-2008, 10:01 PM   #3
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I think many of us have a negative self-perception. Even "thin" women can feel fat! Checking out the depression forum may help, but you also may want to see a doctor about the depression. Most colleges and universities have free services for students, so this could be a good time to check it out.

I am also finding (finally, after over 40 years), that exercise can really help lift my mood! Do you get a chance to do that much??

My 5 C's of healthy living: Commitment to conscious control, with the understanding that choices have consequences
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Old 02-17-2008, 12:45 AM   #4
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Go to the GOAL part of this site, read the stories of those who reached their goals. They are unbelievable. And they'll inspire you. If you are making steps to better your life, you'll start to feel a sense of accomplishment, 5 lbs at a time. Diet, exercise, nutrition, it makes you feel GOOD. Exercise is the best for those endorphins!

One suggestion, go read the book Mood Cure, and others, there's food that can help with your moods, and herbs. I take St. John's wort, fish oil and do light therapy in the winter as I have a problem sometimes with depression. I find that when I'm eating right and exercising mostly it goes away.

Also positive thinking and relaxation... it helps to lose weight. Reprogram yourself to believe you can do it. The book, the Secret, it might be true in some ways, you become what you envision yourself to become. Picture yourself as THIN, not FAT. Take the steps to get there. Read, study nutrition, and hang out on this site... you WILL DO IT. If you think you can't, you won't.
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Old 02-17-2008, 12:12 PM   #5
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I hear ya! We all feel those feelings every now and then. Not only the ones that are here to lose 100+ pounds but the ones that only want to lose like 10. There is something we don't like about ourselves or we wouldn't be here. So, it's a great place to be. Welcome and good luck!
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Old 02-18-2008, 04:32 PM   #6
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Thanks very much guys for the encouragment. I did visit the depressions forum and its seems really nice. My diet right now pretty much consist of eating right (today I ate seasoned veggies for brkfst; lunch a grilled chicken salad and dinner fish and spinach). I'm not on any particular diet just limiting carbs eating whole wheat bread and making better choices. Oh, and drinking plenty of water. I do have the book the Secret!! and it is good. I've been reading it on and off, but it does have some good points. I think it might be good for me to count my calories...but that is too time consuming and I dont know if I can be consistant with it...baby steps..

Thanks again guys!
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Old 02-18-2008, 04:43 PM   #7
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Location: Indiana, USA
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i highly recommend calorie counting. i have been doing it for about a month now and that has helped me to lose 13lbs. i try to exercise too, but i know my biggest problem was my portion control.

hang in there, you'll make it.
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Old 02-18-2008, 05:55 PM   #8
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I second the calorie counting...nothing goes into my mouth unless I know how many calories it is. I have lost 15 pounds since 12/26 and feel great. My biggest problem was like beautybooty...portion control and eating THREE huge meals a day with plenty of snacks. It takes a couple of weeks for your mind and bosy to adjust but once it doesn...you do not miss the donuts and cookies...
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Old 02-18-2008, 06:22 PM   #9
I AM healthy!
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I understand. It wasn't long ago I was 280 and wanted to hide from the world. I hadn't realized I had gotten that big til I got engaged to Joe and we were taking pictures.

When he first came out here I was about 250. The pounds crept up while working at Dominoes and going thru a divorce, then 2 parents dying back to back. My parents dying really woke me up and I made the connection of fat = health problems.

You need to find whatever it is that motivates you to change your life. For me it was I want to be healthy, not sick. I looked at the pics of me and my dh and he looked at me like I was so pretty. I didn't know what he seen in me. I wanted to see what he seen.

Men are attracted to women who are pretty and slim and alot of guys you have to be both. Some men are shallow but mine wasn't. If you look around the forum you will see many other women who met their dh at a high weight. There are many men out there who are looking for a woman who is cute, friendly and has a personality that matches their own. Not all guys are fixated on weight.

Whatever kind of stuff you are interested in hobby wise, that is a great way to meet guys.

Anyhow you can get this weight off. Think of it as a lifestyle, not a diet. I have lost alot of weight with calorie counting and walking. I still eat out once a week. The times when I don't lose it's because I consistantly eat too much and am not watching the calories.

Some women lose wight with weight watchers, some atkins. Something here will work for you you just need to be determined. You are welcome to join me at my hot and healthy chick club. Just click the link in my sig.

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