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Old 02-14-2008, 08:43 AM   #1
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Default When did others notice?

Ok, my DH didn't really say anything as I gained weight (which was good) but now he hasn't said anything as I've lost it (which is bad! I think). I haven't told anyone I'm dieting because I didn't want a constant scrutiny + evaluation of everything I'm eating around other people. Granted, it's only been 10 lbs, but my clothes fit so much better, and I can again wear some things I had to put away because they used to be too tight. I guess I was hoping he - or anyone else - would notice and say something.

At what weight drop did others start to say, Hey you look like you've lost weight?
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Old 02-14-2008, 08:49 AM   #2
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Don't think less of your husband. I had to tell mine. "Feel this hip bone. That's what ten pounds lost feels like."

When I started to need smaller clothing is when folks seemed to notice. It's was as if they needed a flag to make them notice that something was different. 10 or 15 lbs maybe.
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Old 02-14-2008, 08:52 AM   #3
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Also keep in mind that it's sometimes hard to notice differences when you see someone every day. Also, boys are a little slow, and they are also often quite oblivious
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Old 02-14-2008, 09:19 AM   #4
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I was eating something once and my father said "So that's why you're getting a little bit chubby." Naturally, it irked me at the time. My mother spoke to him about it, but also told me that my father doesn't use the term "chubby" with negative connotation. Essentially, if he would really have thought I was too much, he would have said nothing at all and had my mother ask about my health Good ol' Dad.

I think that when you see someone every day, it's easy not to notice those things. HiHo, maybe you can feel secure that your husband loves you just the way you are? My bf isn't especially supportive of my losing weight as he is my getting more physically active, so we can do more things together.

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Old 02-14-2008, 09:21 AM   #5
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I have lost significant weight on more than one occasion and each time it was about 25-30 lbs before most people could not help but notice.

We had a similar thread in on anothe web site and I was surprised at how many people said they would still not say something in fear of intruding on them personally.

I have also heard at times where husbands may not say something because they got slapped enough for saying something when you gained they have learned to avoid the subject regardless if it is a weight loss and not gain.

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Old 02-14-2008, 09:21 AM   #6
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It often surprises me how unobservant some people can be. Some people who see me at work everyday noticed my loss at 20ish pounds. In the last week I've had two people notice with surprise that I've lost but not until I'd lost 70lb! I think its incredible that they have not noticed until now. My DH was somewhere in the middle - I lost around 40lb before he commented.

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Old 02-14-2008, 09:22 AM   #7
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i agree about the seeing someone every day part. but i also think one day he'll see you in a new outfit and it will click and he'll say something about it. over the summer i lost some weight and it was about 15 pounds before people started to notice. probably depends on your frame too and where you lose from first. not to worry...soon more people will notice.
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Old 02-14-2008, 09:23 AM   #8
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Husbands will notice, especially if you let him know how important this is to you. Mothers also notice.

But as far as everyone else, good luck. I am down 40 pounds, which is pretty significant, and 2 people (besides my husband and my Mom) have said anything: one was a cashier at a pet store that I haven't been to in months, and the other was my husband's ex-wife.

I'm on the board of our homeowner's association and we haven't had a meeting in months until this past Monday, and nobody said a word. 40 pounds!

But who cares.... as long as you know and you feel better about yourself, that's all that matters. Good luck and congrats on the weight loss so far!
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Old 02-14-2008, 09:42 AM   #9
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My husband has been very supported of my weight loss, but doesn't really say anything about how I look. He's just my support. If you notice, that is all that matters anyway.

For me people started to notice when my pants were getting baggy in the legs after I lost about 10 pounds. Then they really noticed at work when I was passing up the sweets that are constantly in our breakroom. When you go to lunch at the same time as 40 other people it is kinda hard to keep a "diet" a secret.
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Old 02-14-2008, 09:48 AM   #10
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At one point I was down to goal weight and had lost 92 lbs. I live in Oregon and my mom, dad, and sisters live in CA, so they had to notice. But no one ever said anything! Has anyone had this sort of thing happen to them? We talked about healthy food and exercise, but no one ever said to me "How much weight have you lost?" or "We're proud of you" or "It's amazing how much weight you've lost." Now I've regained and no one has said word one to me still!

The thing that bothers me is that of course they talk about it when I'm not there. My family loves to gossip like that. I just wish that my family didn't make me feel like it's not ok to be open and have an attitude like "yes, I've lost a lot of weight. It was hard work and I'm proud of myself." I think that since it's something we've never talked openly about in my family, that's why I can't take a compliment from anyone else.

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Old 02-14-2008, 10:08 AM   #11
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People didn't start to notice until I had lost 15-20 pounds. My basic shape remained unchanged.

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Old 02-14-2008, 11:07 AM   #12
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My hubby notices all weight losses I have but I'm not sure if he says it to make me feel better or what, but I'm glad he thinks I'm beautiful! But I guess more important is that we love ourselves which is hard sometimes. I guess my advice is look to yourself for reassurance not others..

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Old 02-14-2008, 11:08 AM   #13
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Smile Actions speak louder than words

I think sometimes people will smile more broadly rather than say something. I mean not everyone is comfortable giving a compliment either. Some people may want to say something but they may not know how to. Have you considered that?

On the other hand, I hope that you aren't waiting around for others to notice as one of your incentives to lose the weight. I'm not saying that it isn't nice but if you never get a compliment would you stop trying to do something this good for yourself?

I have read that if you aren't losing it for yourself you increase the chances of regaining that weight. I am sorry to hear that your family didn't notice but maybe there is still some part of you that you feel unaccepted by them and you feel that if you lose weight they will love and accept you more. I doubt that. Our families love us as we are. We just usually don't give them enough credit for that. The same with close friends. My DH loves me already. He has said if this will make me happy then he will support me in it but he doesn't wag a finger at me if I have a dessert or order pizza.

After all, people come and go in our lives and if we hung all of our needs for stroking on every one that came along we would be very insecure and less confident than if we do it for ourselves alone.

I would suggest that you try to build your confidence based on how you feel you are doing. After all, other people's opinions are just that---their opinions.

I noticed I was losing weight when my pants started to droop (my pot belly wasn't holding them up) and I almost tripped over my pants legs. I have also taken pictures of my weight lose journey so I can see for myself what I look like. (see my photo blog on this website "....pixstosee). Maybe, doing something like this will help you realize that "Hey, I am doing this..." and help boost your sagging ego.

Don't worry you're doing great! We are proud of you!
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Old 02-14-2008, 11:35 AM   #14
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Maybe it's also all these layers of clothing we have to wear in the winter. It's harder to see a body outline when there are sweaters and coats and boots.

I alternate between feeling good about the weight I've lost and then thinking (sigh) I still have a ways to go! Onward!!
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Old 02-14-2008, 11:48 AM   #15
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I still have 2.5lbs to go before I hit the 10lb mark... but I've already had to stop wearing a pair of pants and can wear a couple of things that had been too small before. Guess the weight's coming off in the right places

DH is very involved in this process with me... He knows what I'm doing, I tell him the results of my WIs every week, we talk about healthy choices over dinner, we jog together. So even if he doesn't say he notices the weight, he is encouraging and supportive generally about the process and I think that's most important. I was drawing attention to my neck/shoulder area one day (the fact that I can start to see my collar bones thrills me to no end) and he looked at me and said--Now I can REALLY tell you're losing weight! So.... it took a couple of bones sticking out for him to notice.

But I generally agree with the others -- make sure you're doing this for YOU, and not for what your husband and others think. If they start to notice, that's fantastic, but if they don't, well, that's no reflection of your success or lack thereof. People are just usually very focused on themselves and it might not occur to them til much later. YOU notice, YOU get to buy smaller clothes, YOU feel more energetic and healthy, and that's ultimately what's most important. YOU.
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