I can't get it together (disjointed)
 

I just...can't.

I start the day well. Then something happens. The last two weeks have a been a STRING of somethings. Bad somethings. Emotionally draining somethings. I'm-making-brownies-and-no-you-can't-have-any-they're-mine somethings.

I just can't do it.It's not just the diet, it's everything.

I want to cry. Then I want to sleep. Then I want to scream. I can't get my work done. I can't get my house clean. I can't function as a person. These last two weeks have, honestly, just killed my soul.

I want to drink heavily, but I know I'll get just more depressed when I come down.

Direction? Advice? Anything...please...I want to sleep until February is over and hope March works out better.

Been there -- still go there A LOT!! I have found, oddly enough, if I can drag myself through one good day, it actually gets easier for me. I swear the junk food causes me anxiety (or maybe it's just the loss of control) but when I'm not doing well with diet/exercise I can't seem to work or run my house in a productive manner. I get overwhelmed with everything I "have" to do and end up accomplishing nothing. If I can control myself through one day on my good foods and a little exercise, I swear I can organize myself better the next day -- odd, but it works.

Good luck :hug:

Stop, breathe - seek medical attention. I think you should consider talking to your GP about what is going on. Counseling? Meds? Yoga? Prayer and Meditation? There are many things that can help you, and I don't think any of us are capable of telling you which avenue will work best for you.
I will keep you in my prayers. You can turn this around. But I think it is time to seek some help from outside yourself.

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that you're so down, and I really hope your series of bad events gets better soon! You've made wonderful progress in terms of losing inches and pounds already, so please don't feel bad about that -- you deserve to feel proud of what you've accomplished! Is there something else that you need to do for yourself, something you can do to soothe and lift your spirits? I always like taking leisurely walks outside when I'm feeling down. Nature + the exercise always perks me up, especially when I spot some wildlife along the way. Favorite movies or new ones you've been meaning to rent? Bubble baths? Also think about scheduling in enough time to see friends and/or family so you won't feel socially isolated. And if your usual exercise routine is too draining in your current state, don't feel embarrassed to do lighter workouts while you're still recovering from your bad things (but don't cut out exercise completely or the endorphin withdrawal might make you feel worse). *hugs!*

Yup. Sounds like depression to me. Exactly the symptoms I had when I was depressed. Lack of ability to focus. Wanted to just sleep and cry all the time. Couldn't seem to pull myself through like I used to be able to.

I took Wellbutrin for 8 months and it rocked my world. Helped me pull my focus back together (also serves as a small appetite suppressant) and was just enough to help me pull through a bad time.

Go talk to your doctor. Seriously. There is no shame to needing meds to help get through a hard time. You wouldn't hesitate if you had a UTI and needed anti-biotics or sulfas. You wouldn't hesitate if you were having migraines and needed meds for that. Why hesitiate if you need a "happy pill" to get you through a chemical imbalance in your brain?

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These aren't "meds" problems (been there, done that, got the t-shirt). These are pieces of my life crumbling around me problems. My marriage (please don't ask, things will get better, but right now they suck), members of my family are so sick, things are breaking (like my car!). One huge thing happens, I breathe, I say "I can do this, I can make it" then all these little things come on through and I want to explode.

One of my problems has been not being ABLE to exercise. I had a pretty hard core ankle injury last week, which put me out of commission from the gym. I'm finally well enough to get back, but I lost my outlet. When I get seriously stressed (like I have been this week), my usual response is to exercise to the point of exhaustion, so I don't have the energy to think about anything else. It tends to help when I'm obsessing over things that I have no control of (like my grandma being ill). I wasn't able to climb a flight of stairs without pain, let along get on a treadmill.

Added : I wanted to clarify about the meds (since there were two posts). Yes, I AM depressed. But, there are certain points in your life that are...just depressing. I was on Zoloft for quite a while, but this is the first truly, long term depressive episode I've had since then. And it's caused (whereas my depression previously was causeless); treat the problem not the symptoms.

As someone who has also "been there done that" - it is the "life crumbling around you problems" that can lead to a need for meds.

I"m not trying to push meds on you, but what you're describing IS text-book depression, based on a hugely stressful time in your life.

There's no shame in that. And sometimes treating the symptoms for just a litlte bit, gives you the opportunity to focus on the problems better.

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I don't know if this is true for you but I always find the weekends (esp. Sunday) are especially hard when everything is going to crap. I always think I'm going to get caught up on everything I need to do.

I feel like I need to be here, 100% and me to deal with these things right now. It isn't a "shame" or a "pride" problem. I just don't feel as it meds will actually help me get it together. Usually, when I've taken them in the past, they've put me in the this serene daze where things simply didn't affect me - even when they did. No doubt, I NEEDED them at those points. Right now I feel like I'm in a rough patch, with a bit of light at the end of the tunnel, but it's so stressful and draining to get there. Like I want to just coast through each day doing nothing until things work out.

Right now, I guess I need to find some control, because everything happening is totally and completely outside of mine. I need a bit of personal empowerment, which I why I came here about the diet. I just don't know how to get my head up, shoulders back and tackle this when food has always been my happy place.

If it's empowerment you need, then maybe you can channel everything into something you can have some control over. It doesn't necessarily have to be your eating or your exercise...

Good luck! Things will get better!

Hey Altari, :hug:

A lot of folks have had really rough patches like this. I know I have! Where everything seems to be circling the drain... :yikes: And things seem very bad.

You know that alcohol and binge eating is not going to help the situation. If anything those actions will make things worse.

If you can only get one thing stable in your life, stabilize your food. Maybe just concern yourself with maintaining for now and not bingeing. Schedule your meals and snacks, make them satisfying, and stick with that. It's a good way to take care of yourself.

I'm not a believer in medication to solve problems, but once or twice in my life I have had a short course of anti-anxiety meds because I was overwhelmed. I'm not talking anti-depressants, I'm talking anti-anxiety--tranquilizers. There was one time during which my mother-in-law, my father, an old friend, and all three of our cats died in the course of six months. I could not deal by the time the last cat died, and I went to my doctor, who prescribed a few days' worth of Clonopin. That got me through the worst part of it.

I hope you can ride this out!

Jay