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Back & With Some New Insight

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Old 02-08-2008, 08:35 PM   #1
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Default Back & With Some New Insight

OK, hi girls!

I've been the absentee poster for a while... started in the 120s, dropped to the 180s, back to the high 120s and on my way back down again.... Moved twice, 4 different job contracts, the loss of a dead-weight boyfriend and the gain of an amazing one.

I feel different... This time, focusing on weight loss feels... different. Is this the sudden ah-ha moment people talk about? Suddenly I don't have a question of "if this is the time its going to work?". I'm not looking at the future and thinking that the main reason I want my weight loss to be the hottest girl at the bar. (heh, i've even stopped drinking!)

This time I'm focusing on how BADLY my back hurt when my weight went back up when it was just "normal" before. How much my self esteem dropped when my weight went back up. When I had a glimmer of "normalcy" and then let it go away - i was able to see the difference a lot more. I'm paying much more attention to my health - not short term so much as *long term*. My wonderful boyfriend and I are both taking this weight loss journey together. He has a goal of 35lbs... heh, considerably less than me, but still. Having his encouragement makes a massive difference. The fact that I cook for him is helping a lot. It's a lot harder to make sneaky runs to fast food joints when you have someone living with you who is working to attain the same thing and will hold you accountable! I've started to get that thought of children in the future. not right now, but definitely in the next few years. how will my weight effect my ability to conceive? the ease of the pregnancy? the health of the baby? do i really want to embark on that stage of my life having never worn a swimming suit in my adult life?!

all of these things running through my head, my mind is made up in a way i didnt expect to be possible.

i'm doing it this time. i'm officially done being the fat girl and i'm going to be the woman i know i can be - living up to the me that i already have inside.
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Old 02-08-2008, 09:12 PM   #2
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Welcome back, KateRN!!! I wondered where you went! Glad to see you again!

I hope that this is indeed your "AHA" moment!

Hang in there! The two of you can do this!

Jay
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Old 02-08-2008, 09:32 PM   #3
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Welcome back, Kate! It is so wonderful to see your smiling face! Sounds like you are on the path you need to be on.
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Old 02-08-2008, 11:37 PM   #4
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I'm pretty new here, but I just wanted to say congratulations to you and your boyfriend on the commitment to lose weight. It is never easy, but having someone there along side of you is very motivating. That's why I'm so glad I found this web site. Everyone is so friendly and encouraging!
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Old 02-09-2008, 04:31 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KateRN View Post
Is this the sudden ah-ha moment people talk about?

i'm doing it this time. i'm officially done being the fat girl and i'm going to be the woman i know i can be - living up to the me that i already have inside.
Hi there. I'm so glad to see you posting again. You really sound pumped! Sure sounds to me that you had that "ah-ha" moment.

I'm loving your declaration. Living up to your full potential is what it's all about. Good luck as you start this venture. It's so incredibly rewarding.
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Old 02-09-2008, 08:36 AM   #6
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Who wouldn't miss your pretty face?!

DH is 'in' with me lately too and it's wonderful!
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Old 02-09-2008, 02:16 PM   #7
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Must be something in the air my O/H is being a good lad too.

Welcome back btw. X X X X X X
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Old 02-09-2008, 03:11 PM   #8
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thanks guys!!!
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Old 02-09-2008, 08:59 PM   #9
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I don't know you, but welcome back. I know what you mean about the ah-ha moment; I think I am finally "getting it" too; it's about long-term health, not just looks. Although that's still important to me, it's not my only motivation, so I'm approaching the whole thing differently. Not so "all or nothing" anymore, not so likely to quit if I have a bad day. As long as overall I'm progressing toward being more healthy, it's a good thing.
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Old 02-10-2008, 02:10 PM   #10
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Isn't it something how a jerk can drag your self esteem down even if you are strong? With my ex I gained weight, I didn't even care and that wasn't ME at all. People say I wasn't myself too, I was just so self absorbed in my problems trying daily to just get along with him, and lived in stress. Some of those jerks want you to be unhappy, that's their power. This is a nice story about going from a to b and seeing a difference mentally in having someone "supportive" of you. Of course I believe we can do this without the support of a man, and actually I've done my best inbetween men, and I just might stay single the rest of my life... nice to know there's some good ones out there just in case though.
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