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Big gurls need love too!

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Old 12-28-2007, 11:23 AM   #1
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Default Big gurls need love too!

part of the reason i've been wanting to lose weight is for guys to like me. I go to school every day and all the skinny girls got guys. What about big girls too? Just because we're big does NOT mean we're ugly. I seen this one movie on lifetime, I forgot the title, but this big girl had such a beautiful face with doll set eyes. If im going to have a boyfriend, i would want himserious and not just liking me becuase im skinny. so ive decided that i want to be about 210 or 220 lbs(Lose about 50 or 40lbs). I mostly want to tone up, but i think u lose weight with that too, right? So, I want to prove that big gurls can be beautiful. Plus, if a guy comes my way and he likes me, then he has a chance to be the one. I wouldn't want some guy to look at me and say "ew1 shes too big!" I want one to like all of me.
why i typed this? well i just started realizing that i dun wanna be a magazine girl. I had my heart broken today, but these thoughts came into my head. Then I started putting on make up and seeing my beauty. Big girls need love too. I see girls at school who are starving themselves! I remember i was like that too, but I rather be healthy then dead.

I hope u guys had a nice christmas and have a wondeful new years. This is the beginning of a new year and a new life.
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Old 12-28-2007, 11:33 AM   #2
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Hi Jasmine! Your last paragraph was a good one! Healthy is better than dead, that's for sure!

My advice may sound trite, but it is true--love YOURSELF first, and other people will be attracted to you and want to know your secret!

So let your inner beauty SHINE!!!
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Old 12-28-2007, 11:49 AM   #3
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I will second the "love yourself, and others will love you" cliche. It is really true! It is hard for other people to see all the wonderful qualities that make up YOU without you flashing them around, showing them to the world, and we only tend to do that when we feel really super about ourselves. Love yourself and others will follow.

And yes...better healthy and a little bigger than skinny and unhealthy. I try to have an emphasis on HEALTH...my numbers aren't what I used to consider "ideal", but I can't get them much lower without resorting to practices that I consider unhealthy, so they are good enough for me.
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Old 12-28-2007, 11:54 AM   #4
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Jasmine I sympathize! I have always been overweight. Going through school being overweight was so hard. When I was later in my teens I decided I needed to love who I am. And you know since I started loving who I was as a person and realizing that I am a beautiful person I did not have a hard time getting dates! I got married to an awesome gorgeous guy when I was 24 and he loves me no matter what size I am. But the most important thing is I love myself no matter what size I am. Now I need to make some changes to get healthy so we can have a family. But never forget you have to toot your own horn before anyone else can!!!!
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Old 12-28-2007, 12:53 PM   #5
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Please don't confuse what boys at school offer with love. (Yes, I married my high school sweetheart, but REAL love grew after school.) Learn to honor and embrace who you are first and everything else will follow.
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Last edited by midwife : 12-28-2007 at 12:53 PM.
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Old 12-28-2007, 01:02 PM   #6
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I'm guessing you are in high school? I remember how much I hated being fat in high school. I never really had a boyfriend, but all my skinny friends did. Even in college, I never had dates or anything because of my weight. Or at least, I told myself it was because of my weight. In actuality, I just needed to do what everyone else here said--gain some confidence and learn to appreciate every inch of myself as a person. As I gained confidence, it showed to others as well. I was over 250 pounds for most of high school and all of college, and I am even shorter than you. I know how hard it is to go through school thinking you're missing out on something because you're single, but really, 99% of the time (cases like midwife's being the exceptions ), those boys aren't worth it. At that age, their thinking a lot more with their hormones than with their heads/hearts. I found my first real serious boyfriend after I'd already graduated from college, and now we've been together for almost 4 years and are engaged. The good ones are worth the wait, and waiting until you love yourself is even more worth it
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Old 12-28-2007, 04:16 PM   #7
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Hello Jasmine and !

I was a victim to society's beauty ideals throughout my adolescense. I practiced several eating disorders and was constantly obsessing about being skinny. Because I have a medium-large bone structure, I could not get any smaller than a 4/5 - my hip bones would not allow it. This made me very upset because I wanted to be a two or under, like the skinny celebrities. I said EFF THIS and developed binge eating disorder once I thought I was done abusing my body.

Then I realized what you are realizing right now: health comes first. Skinny does not equal beautiful. Knowing that my insides were shutting down and my body was eating itself during my "skinny" years is not exactly consoling. Once you develop healthy habits, your body may decide what weight it wants to be. I mirror the rest of the people in that loving yourself comes first. You WILL get more attention once you are more okay with your exterior and develop more confidence. Here is something that might make you smile: I have a good friend of mine who is a wee bit squidgy. I'd say maybe she was a size 12-14 - at that size, I felt extremely insecure, but she carries it well. She has charisma, confidence, and a pretty face, and therefore has been able to get any guy she wants. Keep your head up love yourself and others will love you... it's more true than you will ever know until you witness it for yourself.
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Old 12-28-2007, 05:17 PM   #8
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Its a hard one. I still aspire to be very thin. Not so people will like me..in fact im getting tired of people, 2 of my friends said they wouldnt see me recently because they both Have Feelings For Me They Cant Get Over. I mean..I dont get it. and really, its so melodramatic and dumb right? And that sounds callous. But if im so callous, why like me?

I think the other side of the coin is that some girls stay *larger than normally attractive* or *obviously unhealthily thin/eating disordered looking* because that drives guys/girls AWAY. And for some reasons unique to each person thats what you might want. ok, rant/ramble over.

Lovin the self...send me a DIY anyone lol
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Old 12-28-2007, 05:31 PM   #9
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I can really relate to you, and confidence is definately the key. I was pretty normal sized until my junior year of highschool..And as the weight crept on my self confidnce plummeted...Then at some point last January I decided I couldn't keep hating myself for being big. I went out, bought some clothes that looked good on me despite my size..I just started spending more time on ME. No matter what size I am, I am always ME. And not too much longer after I found that acceptanc of who I was at 224 pounds, I decided that I cared enough about myself to lose the weight and be healthy. Looking better would be a nice perk, but I needd to be good to my body
Good luck to you!
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Old 12-28-2007, 06:31 PM   #10
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I agree with all of you! You know how guys look at girls with thin legs? Well, I have big legs and people talk about the nice shape of them. I always thought it was the thin legs that got beauty. I see my friends legs and they are beautifully shaped! In models, I just see bone thin legs. Doesn't that look kinda sickly to you? I mean, thin legs are good yea, but to me it's about shape. Not that I don't want to tone my legs cuz i do, but I don't want to lose shape. I actaully searched the question: why do guys like thin girls, on yahoo answers and it shocked me! I found that more guys liek girls with "meat on the bones" than "stick looking figures". Plus, personality are the most important. What's even more lovable about people like queen latifah other than her beauty is her personality! I believe people shoudl not only love their outter self, but there innerself too. I think that always effects weigbht loss becuase you really start believe that YOU DESERVE IT. People are going to be attracted to others with strong personalities. That's how it is for me at least.
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