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Were You Treated Differently After Losing A Lot of Weight?

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Old 12-16-2007, 04:37 AM   #1
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Default Were You Treated Differently After Losing A Lot of Weight?

Just had some questions for you guys...

Did you get more stares? How did the compliments make you feel?

How has your family treated you?

Just needed some motivation, I'm working really hard....it's so incredibly hard but I know the rewards will be amazing!
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Old 12-16-2007, 08:11 AM   #2
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I get TONS of compliments to the point where it has become overwhelming to me. My sister hadn't seen me for a long time and she didn't recognize me - which was fun. I get that a lot - "oh my gosh - I didn't recognize you at first".
It IS fun - I am just having other issues with it as well.
Go for it - do it for how good you'll feel - the other stuff is just bonus.
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Old 12-16-2007, 09:14 AM   #3
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I certainly do get treated differently - in stores, everywhere. But when I asked myself, honestly, why - it became clear to me that *I* had changed how I was interacting with other people - it has very little to do with how I 'look'. Clearly, being a large woman, embarrassed, hating myself, I did not go out of my way to make eye contact with strangers, because hey! Everyone must be looking at me because I am so fat!

Do people treat fat people differently? Possibly. But I can be absolutely sure that what has changed for me is how *I* relate, and thus how they relate to me

Heather
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Old 12-16-2007, 10:37 AM   #4
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Not really. I treated MYSELF different, though.
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Old 12-16-2007, 01:14 PM   #5
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I may be treated differently, but then, I also act differently. I am more outgoing.

I get lots of compliments, but sometimes it's not so great. Not everybody knows how to gie a compliment that really makes you feel good about yourself! I try to assume people mean well, but it can be odd.

The best part is not comments from others, but how I feel and look. I've literally reclaimed my life and can DO so much more. That's a positive all the way around!!
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Old 12-16-2007, 02:14 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JMav View Post
Just had some questions for you guys...

Did you get more stares? How did the compliments make you feel?

How has your family treated you?

Just needed some motivation, I'm working really hard....it's so incredibly hard but I know the rewards will be amazing!
Hi there!

Yes, I get lots more stares and attention from men. It made me feel really, really vibrant, alive, sexy and feminine - things I hadn't felt in a looooong while. I get more attention from women as well. They are more friendly and open with me. But I'm thinking I'm more friendly and open with them as well. I thought I compensated for my weight by being overlyfriendly, but I now realize that I really did hold back. I've come to the conclusion that it's very hard to be yourself when enveloped in so much excess fat. For me, anyway.

Some acquaintances and distant family have been much friendlier to me as well. Which I do find a bit disturbing, as if when I was so heavy I wasn't worth the effort to speak with them. But I can't let that get to me. Got to take the good - with the not so good.


My immediate family treats me the same, I suppose. They've been very supportive. I treat them a bit differently now though. I am majorly concerned about how and what they eat now. I am much better equipped to deal with all the stress that having 3 teenaged daughters brings about. And I get much more done for them, as well as me each and every day. I am much more active and happy now - which can't help but affect them, in a positive way.

Yes, it IS hard. But like you said, the rewards are simply amazing. Waaaay better then I ever could have imagined. I mean I KNEW it would be rewarding, I just hadn't a clue it would be THIS rewarding.
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Old 12-16-2007, 02:27 PM   #7
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I have a news flash for you! Don't get old!!! I just turned 65 this year. I have found that people pay much less attention to me because I am old, rather than fat or thin. I have felt ignored and discounted much more in the last five years than ever before. No one has even noticed that I lost 38lbs where when I was younger, everyone noticed when I lost weight.

So, the moral of this story is, that I am learning to value healthy eating/healthy weight absolutely for myself. I am learning to be myself - a la Maxine in the greeting cards. In many ways, being a little older takes some of the pressure off of me to conform, and that is a good thing. So, everything is relative, I guess.
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Old 12-16-2007, 04:03 PM   #8
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I haven't lost a lot of weight, but no matter what, I suddenly found myself getting a new computer, a deck station for said laptop, a second monitor and other stuff. Some of which I hadn't even asked for. I guess a smaller waist and a low neckline worked wonders.
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Old 12-17-2007, 02:01 AM   #9
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Yes. In a lot of ways.

First, my weight has become an open topic for discussion. Previously, people never talked about my weight...and I was nearly 300 lbs, so there was -plenty- to talk about! But they didn't ever bring it up. Now? Its a common topic with anyone who knew me before...no one hesitates to bring it up, discuss it, name my numbers at Thanksgiving (yes...at Thanksgiving), whatever.

Second, I get fewer stares now. I mean, sure, when I'm with people who knew me before, they definitely do double-takes. But people who have never met me just sort of look at me like I'm "normal" - a big change, considering people used to stare at me when I was bigger (and obviously).

Third, I get a lot more male attention. Honestly, it makes me pretty uncomfortable, but I would rather have to deal with a little of that than be the size I was.

Fourth, doctors treat me like a whole different being. Suddenly I am a person who can have problems that AREN'T related to her weight. So many medical problems have been treated effectively now that were ignored when I was heavy, like long-standing knee issues. Before, the first line of reasoning from any doctor was "It'll get better if you lose weight". Now we go past that stage to actually DEALING with the problem - a huge difference.
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:14 AM   #10
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Hey, not a normal poster here but thought I would jump in. First I want to commend you on beginning this weight loss journey and wish you nothing but ultimate success! Stick to it...the results are so worth it.

My level of "outgoingness" was never affected by my weight because I never let myself really see how fat I'd gotten. And we have our set group of friends so I never got those stares when I was corpulent. Now, like with Mandalinn, esp in my family they'll just bring up my previous weight and it'll be open for discussion. Some days I relish those discussions because most are tinged with amazement that I did it all by myself by eating better and exercising.

I do believe though that my willingness to meet new people and feel comfortablle in new situations has totally been made easier by not being a chunk monster. I feel self contained confidence. I think what the regular exercise does is it makes one feel power, "If I can do this I can deal with anything." kind of feeling. It really rocks. And this is better than any compliment I've EVER gotten. EVER.
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Old 12-17-2007, 09:13 AM   #11
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My situation is a little different because I moved after I had lost the biggest chunk of weight (see ticker), and the people in my new community therefore do not know that I used to be obese. So, they treat me like... a normal person, I guess!

I do have friends who did know me and are still commenting about my weight loss, and that's fine... except when they start with the "now don't lose too much" talk. I assure them that I am still overweight...

Jay
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Old 12-17-2007, 11:33 AM   #12
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I think people are nicer to me in general after the weight loss, which is not something I really WANT to acknowledge but it seems to be true. And yes, that could be because I'm friendlier and more outgoing. But strangers treat me differently as well.

As for male attention, I do certainly get more now but it's not always welcome! I teach teenagers after all, and their attention is not something I ever had to worry about when I was heavy. Then, I was more of a "mother" figure, I suppose, instead of a reasonably attractive woman. So there's been some awkwardness with that. I've seen so many other female teachers handle it (both well and not so well) but I never had to worry about it.

My family treats me a little differently. For one thing, my weight loss is ALWAYS a topic of conversation. I don't live near them, so I only see them every couple of months, and somehow they're shocked all over again every time they see me. Eventually I suppose they'll get used to it.
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Old 12-17-2007, 11:55 AM   #13
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I totally get flirted w/ more often now that I have lost some weight, BUT I have to say that I am also making more of an effort to do my hair and makeup regularly....so I can't say that it is all about the weight loss.

I have also re-gained my self confidence--it was never totally lost, just hidden a bit for a while.
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Old 12-17-2007, 11:56 AM   #14
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Hmm you know I don't think I am treated too much differently other than...

When I visit my family, they get all excited about seeing my weight loss. They make a fuss and really I wish they wouldn't

Former coworkers get all excited when I see them and again I wish they wouldn't make a fuss.

My current coworkers make somewhat of a fuss but they also didn't know me at my highest weight.

My former best friend and I have a strained relationship and partially it is from my weight loss. She thinks that I am a prima donna or something due to my weight loss. Maybe it is the attention/fuss that my family makes that she doesn't like? I don't know.

My in laws make somewhat of a fuss, my mother in law wishes she could lose weight but she struggles.

Do I notice attraction from men? Not really but I've never noticed attraction from men. I am oblivious to attraction.

I don't really notice people being nicer to me or anything but I don't ever think people were not nice to me? Who knows.

So really I do get some extra attention but I wish I didn't.
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Old 12-17-2007, 12:13 PM   #15
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I would probably have been in the camp that said it was my own attitude that really changed, except that I've noticed a huge difference while I've been out Christmas shopping.

No more "you don't belong in this department" looks from 20 year old cashiers. I used to wander around the shoe department for 20 minutes looking for somebody to help me; now they are all over me. It appears that the smaller I get, the less invisible I become.

There is simply a greater acknowledgment from strangers that I exist since I've lost weight.
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