So. I didn't want to come back until I had accomplished something or could stick to something.
While I was gone 260 became my steady high weight, and I tried a few different things and considered going to a therapist for my weight.
While I was gone I broke up with my boyfriend, and suddenly, I just became more relaxed. I didn't have to worry about what he thought of my body nor did I have a deadline of when to lose the weight. I wasn't arguing with someone. I realized that I am too immature for a relationship at this point in time, and even though I love him, we are just living and taking care of ourselves at this point in time. But this isn't about him.
No, I have been worrying about me. I started sleeping on time and I started going to school everyday. I virtually feel no stress...and I feel I am thinking about me.
And tra la la! I see that I can stick to something. I figured out that counting calories or sticking to my rules to a T wasn't for me. I figured out that I needed a realistic guideline, and I've stopped beating myself up if I don't do something like I said I would.
Now I go out for walks until I get tired, not because I need to walk for a certain amount of time. Yesterday I ate more than I would have liked, but I didn't beat myself up and I didn't binge...and I STILL lost weight!
I've stuck to this since the 12th and I've lost about 6 pounds...that's what the scale says. I really don't care as much what the scale says. I know I'm eating less. And I'm not gonna come on here often, but I know I have a long way to go and I will need support occasionally.
Also, I didn't die. I'd also like to apologize to the people I annoyed, and tell people who feel they don't have control over themselves, that they do, but their control weakens if they aren't being realistic and if they worry too much.
My guidelines is 3 meals a day, normal portions, home foods (no fast food, no restaurant food, no extremely unncessary goodies), and go to school everyday.
I eat 3 meals a day and a snack if I am hungry.