Amy, thanks for the advice, I do need to stress less. Glad you're having weird scale anomalies, too. Wildfire, pizza and a movie! You devil! Oh, the Guy (sorry, I can't call him just Guy b/c I have a friend named Guy -- in fact, my friend Guy just got married and is expecting a little one, so if I was dating him it would be a horrendous thing!)...Well, once again we were talking and everything was fine. I have to go into the city today, so we were going to meet after my exam and do something, but yesterday I got the heebie jeebies again about some things about his present situation, so we are now holding off talking for a while, as we had before. As sad as I am about not speaking to him, I feel good about it in some ways. I would rather he resolve the issues that bother me, for his sake as well as mine, and I also want to know that I'm not being a co-dependent lunatic again, but that my feelings for him are genuine. I know I have had this tendency all my life to sort of obsess over a man, and center my life around him, and that has never had a good outcome -- in fact, it's what led to my two failed marriages, I would say. So if I can stop speaking to him for a while and carry on with my life, and then add him back into my life without it making any significant changes in my life except to improve its quality, then I know I am on to something for real. Make sense? I am trying very hard not to repeat the mistakes of the past. I think that's why weight loss is so frustrating to me; it's the one thing in my life I set my mind to and was unable to achieve.
OK, exercise report: I went for about a 40-minute walk (in the cold!) yesterday and the day before, so I am meeting the challenge so far! I think I was pretty active yesterday...did laundry, went to p/t job to pick up work, then went to the Gateway store and bought a PC for DD's 18th birthday , came home, walked, gave XDH a ride somewhere as a favor, then finally lay down on the sofa. Better than spending the entire day on the sofa, right?
All right, girls, I have to hurry up so I can get out of the house in time to go take this exam -- very important exam, wish me luck! It's my #1 school choice, but they're so competitive they actually make you take their own exam in addition to the usual application requirements. If I get in, it will be a miracle, but I gotta try. Later!
Overate last night and am feeling nice and 'round' today. Garry and I made a homemade pizza last night and split it right down the middle! I had intended to have only 2 pieces but, what can I tell you, it was really good! The only saving grace were the tons of vegetables we put on it. Pizza's just one of those foods that's easy to overdo, I guess.
Hello girlfriends! Wanna have a slumber party? We can do each others hair and makeup and not sleep at all. And we can chat and laugh and giggle and drive everyone in the neighborhood batty!!!!
Okay, so you are busy this weekend.... I understand!
I walked each day of 2002! I am going to try for an hour brisk walk today. The wind picked up yesterday and it cleared all the haze away. The mountains are so crisp and clear in every direction. We all are getting colds. Thankfully colds go away pretty quickly. Griffins poor immune system! But his appetite is back. Yipee!!!
I am going grocery shopping later on. I need to go thru my coupons. Knowing me, I will put it off so much that it won't get done til tomorrow night. A budget and the grocery store-not fun. I want to do my taxes. Wish my info would get here. I will get $ back as will Chris. We saw a dodge truck for sale down the street...or I could fix my back door and put in some sod.
I defrag the computer last night. Why do I wait so long to do stuff like that. It is so quicker. Kinda like windexing the car windows. It doesn't take much effort but the results are spectacular! I must start doing stuff on time. I am early but my chores are always late!!!!
Well, I am rambling, tootles~flower
41 -mom of 4 sons
half way to goal
Flower, wish we were all close enough to get together for a night, I think it would be a blast!
The highlight of my day was going to buy a new toilet seat. But, I did find the matching teapot to the cream and sugar dishes I bought after Christmas last year, and for only $6.00 on the clearance table!! Gotta love that. Gave the apartment a quick cleaning, that was all it needed after my major clean at New Year's. I'd like to keep on top of it so it doesn't seem like I have to spend half my weekend doing housework and feeling guilty because I never seem to get it all done. I've had company in this apartment (we've been here 2.5 years) a grand total of two times, so I've decided it's pointless to worry about how it looks here all the time. No one sees it but us! So I'm doing light tidying up through the week, and the vacuuming, dusting, mopping on the weekend. It's working so far....I only spent an hour this afternoon and the place is sparkling.
Eydie, I see the pizza struck more than one household last night! Oh, and Lamorgan got hit, too, although not with pizza.
Ruthie, it sounds like you've got your head on straight where the Guy is concerned. You know what's best for you, and it sounds like you aren't willing to settle for anything less. How was the exam? When will you get results? I hope it went well.
Did okay today. I didn't eat much but I feel really bloated. Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm going to start the week off on a good note!
Oh, has anyone tried the Red Berries cereal with the dried strawberries in it? It's yummy AND low fat! Got myself a new box today.
I didn't exercise yesterday, AND I snuck a little food. *Sigh.* It's ok. I think over last week I lost either 2 or 3 lbs. I just don't remember exactly where I started.
Flower, good for you with the walking! I want to do my taxes, too, so I can do my financial aid applications for next year for both me and DD. My employer has been screwing things up right and left recently; I hope they don't also screw up sending out reports.
Looks like I'm in good company where slipping off program is concerned! Let's all jump back on the wagon!
Oh, the exam...it went a lot better than I expected -- I hope I have reason to feel confident . The school posts last year's test on their web site as a sample of what it's like, and the sections I anticipated would be rough were much easier than I thought. Not that I think I aced it, but I think I gave a good representation of my knowledge and writing abilities. I hope...they told us yesterday that they will notify us of their decisions about the third week in March. So that's just a little over two months away! Yay! I think I should hear from all schools I applied to by April 1.
Ruthie, glad the exam went well. You'll probably be accepted into all the schools you applied to, then you'll have to decide which one you want! If you snuck a little food, I hope it was something worth sneaking.
It's snowing here this morning. Really fine, almost misty snow. It's not blowing around, but you can hardly see the buildings a mile away. I'm going out for a walk in it. There's something about snow that blankets everything in a quiet hush while it is falling.
Just got in, went to see mother-in-law 3 hours away, and the weather (although lovely to look at) was horrible to drive in. Snow and ice. Tense and grumpy, I'm glad to be home.
School tomorrow for all! Yahoo! We got a lot done in the house over the holidays, glad I was able to tap the energy while it was coursing through me.
Drank lots of water today, not sure how much since I had 5 people in the truck helping me drink it. Heading off to bed soon, tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to be very, very careful about what goes in my mouth.
Bought new underware, medium instead of large.
I need a new toilet seat too! We did take our $25.00 gift certificate to Canadian Tire and bought new kitchen taps, on sale from $109 to $82 (canadian!) dollars. Less the $25 dollar gift certificate, and it was a good deal. It's nice to have water pressure in the kitchen again, with taps that don't scream when they're on hot!
Old houses, go figure.
I'm really ready to settle into a dull winter routine. I've had as much holiday eating and drinking that I can possibly take.
I walked yesterday -- my 30-minute route had been 40 minutes when I walked in the dark (we have bad sidewalks around here!) but yesterday while the sun was still up it was 30 minutes again.
I had some food again yesterday. I'm pretty sure my calories were still under 1,000 for the day, though. I will try to keep to the fast all this week and see what happens. I did lose about 3 lbs. the first week, so that's good. I think the food that was tempting me is now all either eaten or in the garbage (it was stale -- I didn't just throw it out b/c it was tempting me!). I am now looking forward to my Tuesday night support group at the Opti Fast clinic. I hope it will be worthwhile.
You know, I didn't really celebrate much yesterday; the scale said 151, and I haven't been at that low a weight since I don't know when, maybe 2000. So yay for me! And I hope to keep hitting weights I haven't seen in a long time.
I'm thinking I'd really rather do something like three shakes a day and have like a salad and some melba toast or rice or even a hard boiled egg or something for dinner. I just can't stand the thought of all that sugar being my only intake -- 105 g a day, it's just unbelievable. I don't know, it's kind of problematic that the program director is an idiot. I was very disturbed by her inability to respond to my weight gain at the first weigh in, so I really don't have faith now that she can appropriately respond to other questions or concerns I have. (She also couldn't answer one of my first questions, which was if I could have carrot sticks while fasting. She told me to ask the nutritionist -- what????) So I might be more inclined to just do things myself. I mean, I'm the paying customer, and I didn't sign any contracts or make any promises to anyone but myself. Not only that, the director herself made multiple comments to me about the other clients in the program being yo-yo dieters and that they were cheating during the holidays, yadda yadda. So I think as long as they get their $$ they're happy. OK, time to go hand in a school assignment. Later.
Congrats Ruthie on your loss, sticking with such a strict program must be challenging. I'm thinking of a spring cleanse (fast) at Spring Equinox, but don't know if I could do it at this time of my life.
Next month on Feb 4th I celebrate 4 years not smoking! Four fast years, is life excellerating, or is it just me???
Funny about the underware... I kept picking out size large, and then put them all back and bought medium. I figured they were cheap ones, if they didn't fit, no big deal. So far they fit!
On program this morning, feeling in control. Hope to stay that way all day.
Going to eat some Vegie soup for lunch, and perhaps a rice and cabbage casserole for dinner. John hates cabbage, but it's such a comfort food for me.
Hello Monday. I am so happy this morning. My children are returning to school. Yes, I have to go to work too. But someone else can have their blasted temper tantrums!!!
My scale said 180 today! I am surprised cause I have been stress eatting. But my meals are smaller.
I finally like tea! I am so happy to have graduated from over sweetened coffee that gives me heartburn. I have only enjoyed the fruity ones, but 1.5 teaspoons of added sugar has so much less calories that cola, cocoa or lemonade first thing in the am!!!
And it is warm and relaxing!!!
I am moving boxes today and furniture and it we are quick, we will be painting too. (boss wants a peachy/coral office) So, no nice clothes for me today. Well, I had better go do something with my afro. I went to bed with wet hair last night. Very scary!!! ~flower
Lamorgan-congrats!!!! Underwear reduction is the most wonderful feeling!!!!!
41 -mom of 4 sons
half way to goal
All I am going to say is Pray for me, light a candle, do what ever it is you do to get people over hurdles... I started school today, it may not drive me to eat but I will certainly be drinking before I graduate!
Highest weight: 189
Current weight: 177.2 as of 6/19/09
Go go go go go go go go GO GO GO GO GO YEAH AMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!
Lamorgan, so proud of you for 4 years without cigs. I passed my 3rd anniversary in November without even noticing, I was so busy with BS at work. I was so mad yesterday at a friend of mine who recently quit...she went back to smoking, and when I asked her why she said b/c she was gaining weight. I said that was inexcusable, worst excuse I ever heard, and she said, well look what you're going thru right now, and I said well what I'm going thru is nothing compared to the suffering of someone with COPD or heart disease or cancer, and she had the NERVE to say well heart disease is associated with overweight too, and diabetes. Girl, don't
you even lecture me about health when you voluntarily returned to smoking to keep your weight down! I've said it before and I'll say it again -- if I knew before I quit that I was going to gain like 40 lbs., I WOULD STILL DO IT!! As much as I hate being fat and the effort it takes to lose it, this is such an opportunity for me to learn. There is no experience in life so terrible that there isn't something to be learned from it, that's my philosophy.
All right, off my soapbox. (Sorry, I am one of those rabidly anti-smoking ex-smokers.) Now for my report...I didn't exercise yesterday, mostly b/c I had too much typing to do and even though I was going to try to leave f/t job early so I could exercise and type, it didn't happen. I also ate AGAIN, primarily b/c my stomach was KILLING me yesterday. I was really despairing of ever being successful on this fast and feeling like a failure and a loser and etc., and like a miracle the therapist who runs the group session called to introduce herself and tell me about how the group works and so forth, and we talked a bit, and she suggested that maybe I can do Opti Fast in a different way other than the full fast. We talked for a while about some of my issues, and I felt so much more optimistic! I am going to talk to the program director tonight about a different program where I can maybe eat a very light dinner, since clearly I need to eat, plus I would love to replace some of the sugar with like a salad or something. Oops, I already said this in a previous message. Anyways, I am going to see how the group session goes, and try to work on a variation of the program and just keep plugging away at reducing my weight. The main thing is to keep trying, right, girls? And to exercise! Please tell me I'm not a failure b/c I couldn't maintain the full fast! I was just sick! BTW, I can't multiply -- five shakes a day is 75 g of sugar a day, not 105, but it's still way too much sugar for me.
I'll let you guys know how the group session goes -- although you will always be my #1 group!
Youngest child went back to school today. He stays for lunch so I won't have to listen to his sweet little voice until 2pm, when I go in and help out in his class.
My house is SILENT. All 4 children and 1 husband have left the building...
Silence is truly bliss after such a long, torturous winter holiday.
I'm glad, Ruthie that there is a group for you to attend to help you through this difficult program. It would be very discouraging if you were on your own throughout.
Good luck Amy! I'm doing my Diploma part-time.
My second Library course has started, I've ordered my text which should arrive tomorrow. Today I'm hole-punching the manual, and will look it over...
I stayed fully on-program yesterday. Kept my points around 20, and have had a good start today. Haven't weighed myself though. Am trying to diet without weighing myself, to see how that goes.
Bought this pair of size 9 jeans at Salvation Army before Christmas, and I'd like to be able to wear them without dying in the process. That's what I'm going to use as a monitor. When they zip up with ease, then I've made my personal goal.
I'm about to go have a wonderful bath with my new bubble stuff in my freshly-painted bathroom.
Maybe I'll put on Loreena McKennitt, and a candle too!
Amy-good vibes coming your way. ~~~~~~~` You can get thru this hurdle (without drinking too).
Lamorgan-no children or hubbie. What a wonderful thought!
Ruthie-glad you found someone to talk to there.
Wildfire-how is everyhting today???
I have more furniture and boxes to move today. O boy fun. But I have an interview with the Great Indoors on Friday but I am secretly hoping Rio will call before then. Rio pays 4.50 more an hour. They both have benifits. I would be doing silk flowers are the Great Indoors and it is way far from home.... But a ft job is what I need.
Gotta get ready for work. Wanted to pop in and say howdy!!! ~flower
41 -mom of 4 sons
half way to goal
Thank you SO much for the warm welcome! I didn't mean to show up then promptly disappear - Friday was my birthday and the weekend was spent doing birthday stuff. My dear friend and her family made me a wonderful dinner of couscous stuffed salmon and roasted potato fritata, toast points with tahini and topinad... No dessert - what an angel! I also bought myself a cool cow spotted tea pot (I collect cows and love my tea).
Ruthie - you are NOT a failure for not sticking to a fast!! Gods, after about 8 hours of that I'd be curled up in the fetal position holding my head with a migraine if I didn't eat! You're listening to your body - good for you!!!
Lamorgan - Congrats on the 4 years of not smoking!! I quit about 12 years ago. Thankfully I had my Mom's same lack of addiction to cigarettes and was able to just put them down. They were more of a crutch than an addiction. Hmm, wonder why I can't quit Mexican food like that?? My stepfather currently has med-severe emphysema and still smokes like a chimney. I want to film him taking off his oxygen to smoke and use it for a "quit smoking NOW!" type commercial...
Long life to ya for quiting when you did!
flower - I use the fruit teas (the herbal ones) as a pre-bedtime relaxer a lot of times. If you like herby-spicy you might like the Stash teas Chai tea. Loooove that stuff!!! I used to be a huge coffee drinker, but it gives me such heartburn that I switched. Green tea is also good for your metabolism.
amyjo - good luck with school!! Candle lit and prayers said, the rest is up to you (you can do it, you can do it, you can do it - repeat as necessary).
Well, I have yet to exercise this year. Kitty Stella had her 2nd round of shots at the vet yesterday and today I have a guy coming to do a post-installation check on my heat pump. Maybe once I get him out of the house I can get a walk in or something before it gets too dark.