I must have read your mind! Today, I went to Target and got 3 pair of sexy panties and a new bra, a bra that pretty much fits and doesn't poke my underarms! I'm impressed I could find something that fits there that is actually SEXY. I do feel better in them. I can't wait to lose enough weight to fit into VS stuff...I used to love that stuff.
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Originally Posted by almostheaven
I was reading and thinking about something else that was a first for me. I've always worn what I termed as "granny panties". Hanes Her Way or Fruit of the Loom big white briefs to fit my big wide butt...and still succeed in holding it all in. And I wore cheap Wal*Mart white bras, also designed to hold it all in. My boulder holders.
But I now wear VS lacy boy shorts with matching bras. I've also got some wild matching sets I picked up at Marshall's. Now its nothing anyone but me (and hubby) will see. But I FEEL good in them. I know that underneath I feel right now, like I can wear lace and be proud of it.
I now take care of my nails, hair, skin, the works. And I wear sexier clothing. But the underwear part? No one sees that. And STILL I feel better wearing the nice stuff underneath and shedding the drab white cotton size 10s for my lacy 5s. And I dunno, but maybe the way I FEEL comes across in how I hold my head up, how I walk with more confidence, which people DO see.
trooworld, you've "given up" and gotten depressed, but look at you, you've already lost weight and you are on your way to a new figure. Don't give up and get depressed, just look at all of the stories on this site even, it's amazing to me how determined women here are!
Maybe you just have to get up everyday, have a quick 10 minute makeup routine, nothing fancy, just a basic natural look forgetting all the "looks" for now. Put on some clothes that make you feel as good as you can, even if you are hanging out around the house. Have some simple outfits that are functional that you know work for you, even if it's the same pants/shirt and mixing a few shirts. Forget the clothes that make you feel bad. Dump them because you'll lose so much weight you wont' need them again anyways. The books on fashion have some good ideas for plus sizes and figure flaws. There's one book about not looking fat that's at the bookstores - Does This Make Me Look Fat I think. You try to dress in darker colors, black, burgandy, and stick with similar colors top and bottom with jackets... Life is too short to be depressed and not like yourself.
In addition to the sexy panties you can always get bodysuits too - spanx is the most popular these days in the US I think. I bought some for my tummy and I do think it does wonders for the belly bulge with certain clothes.
Thanks Horsey, for the clothing advice. My first husband was very mean and very critical of me. He'd say I didn't know how to apply makeup or clean the house or dress nice. Its funny because my second husband says I'm an obsessive house cleaner. I guess you're right the "raggy" comment hurt my feelings, but hey I did look pretty sloppy. that was the first time I heard him ever say anything negative about my appearance. You are right it is important when you're married to keep up your appearance and self esteem.
I was actually thinner when I was single. Its all those darn restaurants and big meals that we eat together! I'm working on my appearance though and plan to improve. I am cooking healthier too.
Thanks, horsey. I am trying. Congrats on your weightloss! It's such a long road, especially when you have a lot to lose like me. It is so helpful to come to this site and read people's experiences and successes. I'm not giving up this time. I've really slipped up this week, but I'm not giving up. I've got that upcoming vacation to my parent's to worry about but I'm not giving up. And coming here helps me not give up.
Two days in a row now, I've put on makeup, did my hair and wore non-frumpy clothing. It feels good and it shows. Yesterday, I ran into a friend that has never seen me in makeup that I know of, and she could tell that something was different, then she noticed my makeup and she said that my whole demeanor was different. I was sort of glowing. Then, I went into this office on campus and the girl at the desk said that she liked my makeup, without me saying anything about it. It made me feel good. And you know, I went to the store last night and it was the first time in a very long time that I felt reasonably good about myself. I didn't feel like I looked homeless and unstable/crazy. lol I will see if my library has that book, I bet they do, they have everything.
Thanks you guys for sharing your advice and experiences. As I've said, it helps to read it.
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Originally Posted by horsey
trooworld, you've "given up" and gotten depressed, but look at you, you've already lost weight and you are on your way to a new figure. Don't give up and get depressed, just look at all of the stories on this site even, it's amazing to me how determined women here are!
Maybe you just have to get up everyday, have a quick 10 minute makeup routine, nothing fancy, just a basic natural look forgetting all the "looks" for now. Put on some clothes that make you feel as good as you can, even if you are hanging out around the house. Have some simple outfits that are functional that you know work for you, even if it's the same pants/shirt and mixing a few shirts. Forget the clothes that make you feel bad. Dump them because you'll lose so much weight you wont' need them again anyways. The books on fashion have some good ideas for plus sizes and figure flaws. There's one book about not looking fat that's at the bookstores - Does This Make Me Look Fat I think. You try to dress in darker colors, black, burgandy, and stick with similar colors top and bottom with jackets... Life is too short to be depressed and not like yourself.
I used to feel that those girls really into makeup and clothes were shallow, I didn't need to do all of that. But isn't it amazing, a day when you feel "put together" and when you don't? I guess I was semi slobby for some years but now I try harder. I run a business at home and usually even on days I don't really go anywhere I make myself put in makeup and an outfit that isn't slobby, even if it's a cute nike outfit. If I feel good about myself I work better, if I'm dressed slobby I act slobby. I used to do the Sephora thing too, constantly buying makeup I didn't wear, not even having a clue how to put those looks together and looking like a clown if I tried. Sounds like you'll like the more natural look if you aren't used to a lot of makeup. You know it's all about colors that work for you, simple eyeliner, mascara, soft shadows, a nice blush (and Bobbi likes a pop of color over one blush), lip gloss and you can be out the door in less then 10 minutes. A few rollers in your hair while you blow dry and you'll have a "blow out". And a few "go to" outfits to wear when you can't think, and throw out all of the garbage. Just don't go down the road of being a slob again, don't even have those clothes around that make you feel bad. Throw them out today. You don't need anything that makes you feel worse then you already do. Ok, I have 20 lbs to lose and it seems like a lot to me because it's so much work, I'd rather sit and complain too. But this site amazes me, I mean women here have lost 100+ pounds, they KNOW MORE then any health or fitness magazine I've read and I'm addicted to those magazines.
Sounds like you'll like the more natural look if you aren't used to a lot of makeup. You know it's all about colors that work for you, simple eyeliner, mascara, soft shadows, a nice blush (and Bobbi likes a pop of color over one blush), lip gloss and you can be out the door in less then 10 minutes. A few rollers in your hair while you blow dry and you'll have a "blow out".
This is certainly an option.
OTOH, I'm not so comfortable with the idea that one MUST wear color makeup and blowdry and curl ones hair to evidence self-respect or self-love or taking care of oneself.
I see your point and I agree with you. I don't think we should base our personality on looks alone. We shouldn't wear makeup because society says we aren't pretty without it. I think beauty comes from the inside first. I've seen plenty of physically good-looking people who were just ugly to the core because of their insides. With all that said, I just FEEL better when I wear makeup. I look better to myself, and that is really who I am doing it for. Yes, I don't want to look like a crazy person...but that doesn't come so much from not wearing makeup, it mainly comes from not doing my hair and wearing shabby clothing.
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Originally Posted by MariaMaria
This is certainly an option.
OTOH, I'm not so comfortable with the idea that one MUST wear color makeup and blowdry and curl ones hair to evidence self-respect or self-love or taking care of oneself.
I agree, I don't hardly wear makeup anymore, liner, mascara, blush, lips all in 5 min. Hair, sometimes quick blowdrys, often not, but I do have certain "go to" outfits for when I don't want to think - and I do make a point of not having any slobby clothes in my closet so I'm not even tempted to wear them. You don't "have to" wear makeup but I do think most of us feel better a little put together. It's like night and day for me in my attitudes and that's not shallow. It's the silly girls with 2 inches of makeup and those trying to relive their youth that look silly to me - I was in California this winter for a few weeks and was about to puke over older women "trying..." I think women are prettier with natural beauty that comes from inside with just a bit of makeup... but knowing what clothes work for you does save big bucks in the end, saves you from buying mistakes that you dont' wear or that make you feel bad. That's my thoughts. I'll never be a girlie girl, I think those girls especially after 40 aren't so cute.
When I was a young teenager, I spent an hour in front of the mirror every day and drove my brother nuts. I was a little overweight (5'7" and size 12-14) but at least I had a pretty face and I knew it. I also had the (mis)fortune of looking several years older than I really was, and had lots of guys hitting on me... I didn't realize it at the time, but I was defining my self worth by my image, and as I gained weight over the years (mostly because I didn't know how to lose/control it, but plus emotional eating issues). I never thought I would be one to let myself go, but after years of frustration at having to wear what fits, I gave up. I've worn makeup maybe twice in the last year - once at a formal party, and once at a job interview. I guess I feel like, if I'm going to be fat and invisible, let me be fat and invisible. Wearing makeup now would only draw extra attention to me and the fact that I've let myself go. It would take discipline to wear it every day, and I really don't have that kind of energy. When I got down to a size 12 before, all the compliments drove me crazy. I guess I feel like it's stupid to make a fuss over such superficial reasons, plus I hate acknowledging that I ever had a problem. I mean, duh, it's only obvious, but at least when I'm fat I'm invisible to myself as well.
After reading the new answers in this thread, it made me think of something. Yesterday, I had my eyebrows waxed (see, I do things for myself sometimes ) and the esthetician said that I had a beautiful skin and was lucky because I didn't need to apply foundation and the likes. Which led me to think... it didn't use to be that 'beautiful', and it wasn't simply getting out of my teenage years that made it better-looking. All those fruits and especially vegetables I'm eating nowadays are also a way of saying "I'm taking care of myself" (stuffing myself with cookies, on the other hand, sure wasn't, in so many wrong ways ).
Of course, it's too bad that most people won't pay attention to those little things, but since they count for me, I guess it's good?
Kery, I am someone who actually went through 2 rounds of accutane and numerous visits to the dermatologist, from the time I was 16 right up to 35, and you know what now I have flawless skin, not even a scar, so thankfully I don't have to worry about that in addition to the weight, I'm sure it is related to the healthier diet.
I read this thread start to finish and realize that I've been doing this very thing. Frumping out.
For one, I just HATE clothes shopping these days cuz I have to look at myself in the mirror in my underwear. Arf! And I keep saying I'll buy clothes AFTER I lose the weight--when I DESERVE them.
I usually wear my scrubs from work, or some part of them with a t-shirt when I'm out with my husband. And try to pretend I'm invisible. I DO have some decent outfits for Church, but pretty formal stuff I don't wear anywhere else.
But you have got me thinking that I should re-think this. Why do I think I look good enough for him but hope I don't see anyone else while I'm out????
I know that if I go out looking "sloppy and frumpy" I am going to run into the "ex" boyfriend and his new supermodel girlfriend. If I go out looking pretty good, I can guarantee that I will NOT run into him. That alone will keep me from going out looking sloppy and frumpy!!! It is worth the effort I put in to guarantee that I will not run into him.
) and the esthetician said that I had a beautiful skin and was lucky because I didn't need to apply foundation and the likes. Which led me to think... it didn't use to be that 'beautiful', and it wasn't simply getting out of my teenage years that made it better-looking. All those fruits and especially vegetables I'm eating nowadays are also a way of saying "I'm taking care of myself" (stuffing myself with cookies, on the other hand, sure wasn't, in so many wrong ways 
).
