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Would I be welcome here?

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Old 05-08-2007, 02:04 PM   #1
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Default Would I be welcome here?


i'm new here, as of a few days ago when i signed on, but i haven't introduced myself since then!!! i think i have this inner fear that if i "try" like technically reach out hoping for something, i won't find anyone here who relates to me and just feel dumb. i mentioned that some of my issues are different from other's, but like many of you, i'm wanting to take a chance and climb out of my thick skin because it's lonely in here and the battles feel harder alone. so, here goes.

i initially looked for eating disorders/anorexia sites for blogging/support/accountability, but i have ALWAYS found that whether in a group face to face or via email, there lies a subtle but defeating sense of competition instead of genuine support in getting better....like "good job, keep working on your meal choices...have you gained or lost weight?" as if that matters. what matters is my inner struggle, so over the years i have found that women seeking to lose weight are more genuine in supporting one another, knowing that the food issue is generally emotional issues that drive the food battle (in either direction).

i admire the sincerity of women bonding together to support eachother in reaching small goals. i have many of my own, and need as much support as anyone, but with other women with anorexia, there is always an "am i still smaller than you?" undertone and it remains lonely in such company. i miss having women in my life, to talk to, to process this stuff with....to be accountable to and offer accountability to. all the women in my family struggle with being overweight and we always find our struggles are A. very similar B. worse and more difficult alone and C. only successful with support.

so, i wonder, as i battle weight, my demons with food, sugar, emotional eating/ not eating, bad habits i want to break and good ones i'd like to gain, would i be welcome here? can we work on small goals together?

i'll await any replies thanks

ps...i am also pregnant with my 4th child in 4 years, having been ON BIRTH CONTROL for the last three and NEVER having a period or any sign my body is even cycling for over 5 years.....????? needless to say, being pregnant has always been extremely scary for me, having to gain weight for the baby, but really battling my demons to do it normally when i'm not pregnant. every lb of weight gained for me is a goal like you might be trying to lose, but i'm very supportive and need support back to grow this baby healthfully. i have many small goals to change my 'ways', but i'm not doing so hot on my own.
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Old 05-08-2007, 02:08 PM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Bat Country
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This place is very special.

The bottom line (in my opinion) is improved health through the daily choices we make.

Sometimes that is reflected on the scale. Sometimes it is not. Sometimes we drop the ball, go off-plan, do things that we should not or do not want to do.

Life goes on and we have another chance to make a better decision.

I think this forum reflects that.


And congratulations on the pregnancy!
"And that's how Beowulf rolls"~ my DD

Last edited by midwife : 05-08-2007 at 02:09 PM. Reason: forgot congrats...what kind of midwife am I????
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Old 05-08-2007, 02:58 PM   #3
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 10,245

S/C/G: Lost 50 lbs, regained some

Height: 5'3"


Hey, Wingedthing!

I think you'll find that although we 3FC-ers do cheer each other on when we all stay on plan and lose some pounds, it is never in the sense of a competition. We also commiserate with each other when we go off track, or have other issues come up that make it hard to reach our goals. And, when someone asks a question or wants some feedback on what they are doing, we try our best to offer help. Of course, most of us are not "professionals" here--just regular folks with common desires--to have a better relationship with food, to lose weight, to be healthy, to keep the weight off.

We do have a forum area called Chicks in Control for those who struggle with eating disorders of various kinds--you might want to visit, if you haven't, to see whether you find it any different.

So give 3FC a try--maybe you'll find some help here.

"My religion is kindness." --His Holiness the Dalai Lama

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Old 05-08-2007, 03:44 PM   #4
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Location: Davis, Ca
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I am not sure I understand your post. Are you saying that you are anorexic? Or did I misunderstand.?
Goal 12/21/2007
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Old 05-08-2007, 03:46 PM   #5
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Anyone is welcome here. You will find much encouragement even with the smallest of achievements. We all want to help each other succeed.
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Old 05-08-2007, 03:59 PM   #6
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I am glad that you've decided to give us a chance, you will find that you are not alone in your struggle, and 3FC are a close knit family that will be here for you when you need it most. Congrats on you pregnancy and I hope to here from you some more.
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Old 05-09-2007, 02:24 PM   #7
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Thanks, it's really good to know. I feel like a check in support is the best chance at making big changes, one little change at a time. Does anyone here want to become "check in" partners, for setting one small goal per week and checking in daily, quickly, to report on how it's going???

talk soon,
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