i'm new here, as of a few days ago when i signed on, but i haven't introduced myself since then!!! i think i have this inner fear that if i "try" like technically reach out hoping for something, i won't find anyone here who relates to me and just feel dumb. i mentioned that some of my issues are different from other's, but like many of you, i'm wanting to take a chance and climb out of my thick skin because it's lonely in here and the battles feel harder alone. so, here goes.
i initially looked for eating disorders/anorexia sites for blogging/support/accountability, but i have ALWAYS found that whether in a group face to face or via email, there lies a subtle but defeating sense of competition instead of genuine support in getting better....like "good job, keep working on your meal choices...have you gained or lost weight?" as if that matters. what matters is my inner struggle, so over the years i have found that women seeking to lose weight are more genuine in supporting one another,
knowing that the food issue is generally emotional issues that drive the food battle (in either direction).
i admire the sincerity of women bonding together to support eachother in reaching small goals. i have many of my own, and need as much support as anyone, but with other women with anorexia, there is always an "am i still smaller than you?" undertone and it remains lonely in such company.
i miss having women in my life, to talk to, to process this stuff with....to be accountable to and offer accountability to. all the women in my family struggle with being overweight and we always find our struggles are A. very similar B. worse and more difficult alone and C. only successful with support.
so, i wonder, as i battle weight, my demons with food, sugar, emotional eating/ not eating, bad habits i want to break and good ones i'd like to gain, would i be welcome here?
can we work on small goals together?
i'll await any replies
ps...i am also pregnant with my 4th child in 4 years, having been ON BIRTH CONTROL for the last three and NEVER having a period or any sign my body is even cycling for over 5 years.....????? needless to say, being pregnant has always been extremely scary for me, having to gain weight for the baby, but really battling my demons to do it normally when i'm not pregnant. every lb of weight gained for me is a goal like you might be trying to lose, but i'm very supportive and need support back to grow this baby healthfully. i have many small goals to change my 'ways', but i'm not doing so hot on my own.