That's outraegeous if people really are giving you dirty looks for your weight - because you arn't even *fat* by weight-charts/etc!
It sounds like a self-esteem issue to me. At 5ft 6ins and about 120lbs (thereabouts) when I was 16 I was convinced that people were giving me those same looks. In hindsight, it was all about my head, my self-loathing, and not actually about what anyone else thought - its unlikely they ever even cared.
I just want to say, that if you might be projecting your feelings about yourself on other people's view of you, please stop. It only causes more hurt feelings for yourself and a distorted perception of your own body, I know I've been there. I used to think everyone just looked at me and saw a fat person, I realized several things, for one most people aren't really paying any attention to me, think about it, how many people do you see in a day at school, do you really sit and think about every single one of them, probably not. Also I have a hard time looking at people in the eyes too, I'm really shy, but avoiding eye contact makes the other people feel awkward and so they might smile or seemingly smirk because of an awkward situation, they are unsure how to approach a person or talk to a person who is always looking down, away or with fidgty eyes. I just want to say "Keep your head up!" Keep your chin raised and your eyes straight ahead, don't look down! You confidence will get a boost if you just start acting like you got it, eventually the real feeling will come as you get some practice feeling confident. Tell yourself your a strong confident young woman!
When I was in highschool I ranged in the 138-145lbs. I thought I was the fattest person in the world. Now that I have gone well beyond that, I look at those pictures with dismay because I was thin, what my problem was, was that I was just not toned up. If I could just go back and tell myself then what I see now as I look at those pictures is that I was beautiful and thin, I was at a healthy weight for my height, I should be happy with myself, and what I should focus on is toning up!
Seriously from your ticker you definitely are not a fat person, maybe focus on strength training or doing something like yoga or pilates to just tone the muscles under your skin. Or take a kickboxing class and get that frustration out that builds up from all those stupid classmates. And remember muscle weighs more than fat so if you start toning I would not use the scale to measure your progress I would watch how your clothes fit and watch as your muscles get firmer.
And just try to get thru the rest of highschool and it will be over. I never look back I was sooo glad to be done with it. Although you may come across people in life who seem to have never matured beyond middle school, much less highschool, most of life since then doesn't involve immature bratty kids who feel the need to pick on other to make themselves feel cool. I see the kids who were the "coolest" in highschool out sometimes at a bar and they seem to be stuck there, I focus on my life, my friends, my family, my goals and whatever happened back then stays there, and it may seem hard to imagine, but highschool really doesn't matter much after its over.
After reading all your posts I've realized this whole issue is a self esteem issue. I let people if it's (their intention or not) get to me. So far something that I've been struggling to do which is taking care of my self whn these people act immature. I've went 19 days straight and only two binges and one day where I ate a bit too much for me this is taking care of me. I've never went this long especially when school was going on.
Today when I woke up and read all your posts I've been reminded that I need to continue taking care of me and ignoring those negatives. You know what I feel satisfied that I haven't given in.
Everyone who responded thankyou so much!!! *big smile*
That's a good first step. I hope you'll soon get to feel better.
Indeed there probably IS a great deal of self-esteem in all of those things. Especially given that if I refer to the charts, yes, you are in a healthy range. (Keep up the good work. ) To be honest, I can count on the fingers of *one* hand the amount of times I remember having been called "fattie/fatso" or whatever similar at school. I've been overweight since the age of 7-8, I was never less than 150 pounds from 12 to 18 (and never taller than my meager 5'1"-5'2"), had almost always the best grades (I guess this still attracts dirty looks in junior high, haha), I have Tourette's syndrome on top of it, yet very few people have ever dared to shovel insults or glare at me. Maybe they did it in my back, I'm not saying -- just not to my face. So I really think displayed self-confidence had to play a role in that, because Lady Nature sure hadn't make me start with the best physical aspects.
CONGRATS HAZEL!, thats the way to go about it. its all about you and making you happy. thats your first priority, everything else just falls into place after that.
That's a good first step. I hope you'll soon get to feel better.
Indeed there probably IS a great deal of self-esteem in all of those things. Especially given that if I refer to the charts, yes, you are in a healthy range. (Keep up the good work. ) To be honest, I can count on the fingers of *one* hand the amount of times I remember having been called "fattie/fatso" or whatever similar at school. I've been overweight since the age of 7-8, I was never less than 150 pounds from 12 to 18 (and never taller than my meager 5'1"-5'2"), had almost always the best grades (I guess this still attracts dirty looks in junior high, haha), I have Tourette's syndrome on top of it, yet very few people have ever dared to shovel insults or glare at me. Maybe they did it in my back, I'm not saying -- just not to my face. So I really think displayed self-confidence had to play a role in that, because Lady Nature sure hadn't make me start with the best physical aspects.
I don't get how people can get such pleasure from putting down others. I've been called those names before...cruddy feelin...eh? When I think about it..it just overwhelms me. I wish I could have the top marks in my school but when it comes to the academics I'm just above average...bleh! Just like you I'm going to try to display that confidence some how...maybe if I hold my head up high and try to dress better.
Mmh, I don't know if this could work with you, but personally, I love wearing somewhat-sexy lingerie every day. Whether I have a man in my life or not, I mean, just for myself. I know it probably sounds silly, but the sheer fact of knowing that I am wearing something like this tends to boost my ego. Which helps in displaying confidence.
All of this to say that maybe a similar 'trick' could work for you, since you mentioned clothing in your previous post.
Anyway, some people can indeed be cruel. At school or later on, but school I guess is a place where it is doomed to happen. :| Somehow, though, it probably all stems from the same issues... They likely put down others because they feel insecure about themselves (teenagers and all that, we all know how crappy that period can be at times), because laughing at someone else in order to forget their own fears and flaws is so much easier than accepting that nobody is perfect, including themselves.
Last edited by JayEll; 05-03-2007 at 02:40 PM.
Reason: TMI re lingerie
Mmh, I don't know if this could work with you, but personally, I love wearing somewhat-sexy lingerie every day. Whether I have a man in my life or not, I mean, just for myself. I know it probably sounds silly, but the sheer fact of knowing that I am wearing something like this tends to boost my ego. Which helps in displaying confidence.
All of this to say that maybe a similar 'trick' could work for you, since you mentioned clothing in your previous post.
Anyway, some people can indeed be cruel. At school or later on, but school I guess is a place where it is doomed to happen. :| Somehow, though, it probably all stems from the same issues... They likely put down others because they feel insecure about themselves (teenagers and all that, we all know how crappy that period can be at times), because laughing at someone else in order to forget their own fears and flaws is so much easier than accepting that nobody is perfect, including themselves.
I feel like a doofus when I dress up in anything sexy even if it's underneath...(I feel like the world knows...*shakes head*... ). And no it does not sound silly because that you dress up in somethign feminine such as lingerie. I'm envious of woman who can wear feminine clothing...because I'm such a Layed back tom boy. You are confident to pull it off I lack it... .Hopefully when I lose the weight I'll be able to project the image that I have in my head of how I'll look.
Those people that do bug me I know they are insecure because I overhear them talking at time...they're pathetic. But I'm going to act like they're an obstacle that I have to jump over...on my road to being that confident woman...(I know she's waiting for me... )
Thanks for your help and tips makes me feel comforted that someone is spending their time to write back to me!
I'm quite tomboyish as well, in fact (I think I've put up on makeup like... 3 times in the whole of 2006, and skirts about the same amount of times ). But I guess this is one of those things my 'feminine side' likes doing as well, in between wearing jeans and cutting my hair all manners of short and spiky.
I wasn't sure of myself when I first did it, I admit. (I didn't start with G-strings, that is: since all I had before was simple, white cotton panties, even some thing with a nicer cut and colors was already a big change!). Somehow I felt ridiculous... and yes, like "everybody knew" as well. But once I tried it, and got used to it for a few days, I didn't want to go back. ^^ It was sort of like a challenge at first, too. Like saying to the rest of the world: "okay, I'm fat, but I too can wear that stuff, and you can't prevent me from doing it".
Anyway, as I said before, maybe there is something similar you can try. Not necessarily lingerie, anything can probably do, as long as it does the trick (having your ears pierced, a new haircut, dyed hair, whatever--the aime is just to feel prettier ). I'm not sure if it's worth waiting for the extra weight to be gone, though; I mean, getting using to our new bodies takes time, even once we're at goal, and it may be worth "training" a little before that, in order to not see all the changes happen all at once, and to not discard the "me" we are before the goal is reached? (Hmm, I need to develop that theory someday, hehe.)
It only causes more hurt feelings for yourself and a distorted perception of your own body, I know I've been there. I used to think everyone just looked at me and saw a fat person, I realized several things, for one most people aren't really paying any attention to me, think about it, how many people do you see in a day at school, do you really sit and think about every single one of them, probably not. Also I have a hard time looking at people in the eyes too, I'm really shy, but avoiding eye contact makes the other people feel awkward and so they might smile or seemingly smirk because of an awkward situation, they are unsure how to approach a person or talk to a person who is always looking down, away or with fidgty eyes. I just want to say "Keep your head up!" Keep your chin raised and your eyes straight ahead, don't look down! You confidence will get a boost if you just start acting like you got it, eventually the real feeling will come as you get some practice feeling confident. Tell yourself your a strong confident young woman! 
Whether I have a man in my life or not, I mean, just for myself. I know it probably sounds silly, but the sheer fact of knowing that I am wearing something like this tends to boost my ego. Which helps in displaying confidence. 
). And no it does not sound silly because that you dress up in somethign feminine such as lingerie. I'm envious of woman who can wear feminine clothing...because I'm such a Layed back tom boy. You are confident to pull it off 
.Hopefully when I lose the weight I'll be able to project the image that I have in my head of how I'll look.
)
). But I guess this is one of those things my 'feminine side' likes doing as well, in between wearing jeans and cutting my hair all manners of short and spiky.