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I am a failure :(

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Old 04-26-2007, 08:38 AM   #1
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Default I am a failure :(

I am trying but.... not doing good.
Last nite I took a step class and another lady who is friends with the mean lady asked me (Again!!!!!) is this your first class??????????? I was like
It was my 2nd class but still WTF (speak my french) I am going to exercise!!! Not to be measure against some standard. It adds too much to it....
Maybe I am so fat I look awful exercising....
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Old 04-26-2007, 08:39 AM   #2
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And after dinner I ate some lc icecream and went above my cals for the day
It must be pms
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Old 04-26-2007, 08:41 AM   #3
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I don't know who the mean lady is, but maybe the woman who was talking to you was just trying to be friendly? I guess it is all in how she asked....

Why would someone asking you a question make you a failure?

Keep going to the class if you like it, but if it stresses you out, there are about 972 different ways to exercise (listing them all would be another thread!).
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Old 04-26-2007, 08:46 AM   #4
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I gained a lot of weight due to therapy (both hormonal and mental) I am a former anorexic. SO when I started the gym I was lighter and then I gained weight. But it does add a lot to it, because I dont talk to people at the gym, I consider that rude. The remark was made in te context "You are not doing it right". The mean lady was the friend of this one who asked me loudly "GEEZ YOU GAIN SO MUCH WEIGHT!!!!" and I was so ashamed. I mean I am not perfect but I just dont like to be harrased ... it is very hard.
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Old 04-26-2007, 08:49 AM   #5
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You're not a failure. You're TRYING, right? How does that equal failure?

There's something to be said for effort
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Old 04-26-2007, 08:56 AM   #6
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I dont know maybe my gym is too cheap and you get what you pay for, it is kind of cheap... open for all kind of people.
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Old 04-26-2007, 08:59 AM   #7
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Hey carolva77,

You can't let the comments of other people rule how you feel about yourself! I know, easy to say--but they are just blowing in the wind! Get to class early so you can get as far away from those women as possible. You don't have to listen to anyone but the instructor.

Also--and I could be wrong here--but I don't think it was PMS that sent you to the ice cream, I think it was because you felt bad. We all know that way of soothing ourselves, but it's one habit we have to move beyond. "That way lies disaster"

Be strong, woman! Don't give up! Keep going!

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Old 04-26-2007, 09:06 AM   #8
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I will continue with my workouts but I am seriously thinking to get another gym (and honestly the one I am thinking is more expensive and I hope better, I have the theory that You get what you are paying for
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Old 04-26-2007, 09:24 AM   #9
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You're not a failure - you're out there trying, aren't you? Failing would be letting these women get to you. Any gym I've been in, there are always people of all sizes - from the extremely buff to the significantly overweight. And I say as long as you're out there working on it, more power to you.

Maybe an embarrassing story or 2 will put it in perspective for you. A couple of years back, I was out power-walking, doing my thing, trying to be healthy. I weighed about 145 I think, but at any weight, I am a bit "bootylicious". This teenaged kid leaned out the window of a passing car and yelled at me (I was the only one around) "He thinks you have a fat ***". I was a bit miffed - after all, my *** isn't hurting him, and I was obviously out there exercising. Now I just laugh though - I can lose some of my big butt, but he'll likely be an idiot for the rest of his life.

Another one - the other day, an acquaintance had to drop something off at my house - I haven't seen her since last Sept. She hopped out of her car, her jaw dropped open, and she said (in a voice of utter shock) "Whoa - you look ROUGH!!! Have you been feeling OK?" Now, I've been feeling perfectly fine, was having a good hair day and everything. My neighbour had actually told me how nice I looked, a few hours earlier.

My point is, the world is full of idiots. Don't let them drag you down. Consider the source of these comments, keep your chin up, and do this for YOU, not for them (though revenge will be sweet when they see you looking all hot!)
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Old 04-26-2007, 09:28 AM   #10
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You're not a failure, you're just a person who gained some weight. It doesn't define who you are. And neither can a stranger who may have been rude or may have been trying to be helpful. Sometimes if we're feeling bad about ourselves we can be a little sensitive and misinterpret things people say. But even if it was just plain rudeness - why let a rude stranger define how you feel about yourself? They don't know you, don't know your circumstances, and it's not their business.

Just keep on going and don't worry about what others think. The vast majority of the people you see at gyms will be privately cheering you on - they're thinking, "good for her, she's here and she's trying".

Also, I'm not sure why you think people talking to each other at the gym is rude - for me, it can be a social place, everyone out there trying their best & in it together. And we never know their stories - right now I can run up to 6 miles and to some of the new folks who need to lose 60 pounds that might look intimidating - but they never saw me when *I* was the one needing to lose 60 pounds!!

cheers,
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Old 04-26-2007, 09:43 AM   #11
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There's rude people all over the world unfortunately. We have to live with'em.
Laugh and say "Nope, I'm just a clod."

You're not a failure. Don't say it, don't think it. How can you be a failure with us holding you up
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Old 04-26-2007, 09:49 AM   #12
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This lady is a jerk. Pay her no mind. Keep doing your thing. For every one jerk in the world there are probably a dozen people in your life- and at that gym- whom you inspire with your actions.

This is a big reason why I work out at home. I have my treadmill and a library of various DVDs. I also have my dogs to walk. I feel like I am on display at the gym.
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Old 04-26-2007, 09:59 AM   #13
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Another blithering idiot-running amuck. Roll your eyes and pity the fool!!!!
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Old 04-26-2007, 10:01 AM   #14
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Next time she asks if this is your first class answer that it is your first class today.

Honestly, don´t let her get to you. Turn it around on her by having a good time while working out.

I currently take an aerobics class where I am the fattest person there by about 50 pounds. I sweat like a pig, I trip over the step, I get off beat, they turn around one way and I turn around another. You know what I do about it? I laugh.

It is sort of funny, anyway. I mean, if aliens were watching us do aerobics they might seriously consider conquering another less ridiculous planet.

Yesterday the instructor (my arch nemesis) tried out this fancy new step that I didn`t get, so I jut danced along to the music until I could get on beat again. With the biggest smile on my face.

Show them that you can do this.

Show them that their comments only illustrate their weaknesses and frustrations.

Show them that you are stronger than they are.

And have fun with it. Why flap your arms offbeat for work when you can do it for entertainment.
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Old 04-26-2007, 10:03 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carolva77 View Post
I dont know maybe my gym is too cheap and you get what you pay for, it is kind of cheap... open for all kind of people.

Rude people exist in more expensive gyms just as they exist in cheaper gyms.
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