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Old 04-21-2007, 06:50 PM   #1
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Hey Everyone...

First of all, I'm really sorry to put a damper on you on this beautiful day by submitting a thread like this, and I know I'm always here complaining...but I wouldn't be here complaining, but instead, giving advice just like the rest of you, if only by my weightloss were a sucess-- but it's not. And that's why I'm here,that's why I'm losing hope, losing faith in myself. I don't know, I don't know why everything in life comes harder than usual.

For two years I've been trying to lose the weight I gained. 30 pounds is not much to ask for, right? An average person can usually lose this 30 pounds in a span of 4-5 months. Well why is it taking me longer than 24 months then!? While I did have my ups and downs-- more downs now that I look back, it still wasn't something that should completley sabottage my weightloss. But make me gain even more weight?! Despite all the excercise I do!? Another 10 pounds gained.

I go to school full-time (I have gym class 3 times a week) and have two jobs, both consist of being on my feet all day, running around, helping people. I also try to go to the gym 2-3 times a week, ride my stationary bike and jump rope. But latley, I can't do it anymore. I'm so exhausted. All the friggin time. I just can't do it anymore.

My eating is not consistent. My life is hectic, and I have trouble having my main meals other than breakfast. But aside from breakfast, which I always mak sure to have (usually yougurt, bran buds and sliced fruit parfait with a glass of v-8) I just nibble around all day. I don't eat a decent lunch and almost never have dinner, but I'm eating every 1-2 hours. It's hard to count calories, and even though they may not come from the healthiest and most wholesome foods, I find that the total would average from 1100 to 1300 calories.

I'm always uncomfortably full, I'm NEVER hungry. People say, eat whole grains, it takes more time to digest so you'll feel full longer. I don't need that. I can eat a slice of cake and feel full for the rest of the day...so do I still need to eat healthy food anyway?

Oh I don't know where I'm getting at. To be blunt, I feel like crap. I tried excercising every day but I gained weight. I was devestated. I also knew it wasn't muscle mass because my clothes were still uncomfortably tight. Then I heard of the 80/20 rule (80% good eating, 20% excercise to lose weight), so I tried that fore a week or two and woke up this morning to find that I'm officially 152. I've never been so heavy before in my life. I thought I was fat at 137, now I'm just ashamed of myself. Because, I feel like when I don't try, I gain weight, and when I really do try, I still gain weight.

I feel so hopless.

I just want someone to tell me what's wrong with me. There's either something wrong with my head or with my body. Maybe I'm in denial? What am I denying? The fact that I'm probably consuming 1800 calories when I don't even realize it? Well some chicks here, lose weight eating that same amount, why am I ballooning like this, then? That I'm not excercising enough? Then why am I always so tired? Why does every joint in my body ache so much right now? Why do my feet hurt so much? Should I force my self to get up and excercise anyway despite the fact that I'm dying to just lie down and vegetate for once?

I feel so hopless. What's wrong with me? I got blood test results to see if I have any deficiency in my boody, but everything came out normal. Am I just trying to find some sorry excuse for my weight gain? Is this really all my fault and am I just lying to myself? I just want to lose weight...I just want to stop gaining. Ugh, some one give me a good slap in the face.

I'm really glad I got this off my chest. Even if no one read/reads this this, I'm glad to have finally released this. This 'what am I doing wrong?' speech. Now...I think I'll go bike for a bit...even though I really just wanna sleep and never wake up.
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Old 04-21-2007, 07:46 PM   #2
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well i don't know your age or your body make up so i can't comment.

but
1. you have to drink water and avoid soda
2. you need to eat good wholesome foods while calories count so does what makes up the calories
3. you need to have specific deliberate exercise.

and you have to love yourself. which is the most important thing.
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Old 04-21-2007, 08:01 PM   #3
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I'm not sure I'm in the right place to tell you what's right or wrong -- I'm struggling as well, and I too haven't lost those darned 30 pounds after 2 years yet! -- but have you tried perhaps getting your eating consistent (you're saying it's not) instead of focusing on exercise? Not forever, but for a time? You sound like you're busy and worrying a lot, which makes you tired on top of trying to do a lot, and perhaps you need a break -- not from the whole weight loss thing, but from being stressed about it, so to say.

It can be very hard to properly estimate your caloric intake if you're taking it here and there rather than in, say, 3 regular sittings and 1-2 snacks. We may think we're doing well, but in fact not that much. Hectic eating patterns are taxing on the body, and this may also be its way of 'getting revenge', so to say. Besides, what we eat does make a difference (we may retain more water, bloat and be heavier on the scales if eating certain junk foods, etc.). I believe you need to eat healthy foods, yes, even if one slice of cake currently makes you feel full; as for another nice side-effect (or at least, that's the way it goes for me), better foods = more vitamins/nutrients = more energy during the day. Again, I know I've not always followed that pattern myself (look at my tickers *snorts*) but I've come to learn the hard way that giving up on healthy foods isn't a good trade-off at all.

In any case, your life sounds like it's pretty busy, so I hope I'm not coming as insensitive, unable to realize what it is, or whatever. I'm just hoping this couple of things I've written might help you, or at least be some kind of comfort!
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Old 04-21-2007, 08:07 PM   #4
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Hey. What a miserable situation--no wonder you feel down!

But the thing is, you say your eating is inconsistent. Well, the laws of physics just are what they are. Unless you are actually tracking your calories with some kind of tool--either a calorie book and a notebook in which you write down and calculate everything you eat, or a computer tool like FitDay--you could be way off on your calories eaten and not know it. This is true for many people--you wouldn't be unusual.

Being able to "eyeball" foods comes with long practice with serving sizes and portions and ounces. Boring, but that's how it is. Programs like Weight Watchers use a points system or some other way of judging amounts, but it's still about keeping track.

You can use the Weight Goal part of FitDay to figure out an estimate of your calories burned every day--but one word of warning: FitDay tends to estimate high. I set mine at completely sedentary and then add any exercise I do, and that gives me a workable number.

A trainer at the Y told me that to support weight loss, it is necessary to exercise at least 4 times a week. I exercise 6 days out of 7, and I also walk every day. That may sound impossible to you--but I work full time also. I can only afford to spend an hour and a half on exercise per day, but it turns out that's enough to burn 200-300 calories, plus raise my metabolism, which is more important.

I think what you may be finding out, Remember2Forget, is that it's hard work to lose weight--harder than you thought. Bummer, man, brings me down!

I'm really sorry that's the way it is! I'd like it to be easier also. I am soooo tired sometimes--but I really want to make it this time and stay with it.

So, ladybugnessa has some good points, and so does Kery. It does matter whether you get the calories from good food or junk. It does matter about being consistent with exercise and with meals and snacks. These things CAN be done, and YOU CAN do them! You simply have to decide to make it a higher priority and do some planning! If you can do all those other things you've been managing, the school, the jobs, etc., you can do this, too.

Keep going, don't give up!

Jay
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Old 04-21-2007, 09:33 PM   #5
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Dear, dear lady,

I feel for you, truly. When I re-read your words, I can't help but think you should go back to the doctor......find a woman, if possible.

There could be any # of things wrong, and from your words, it just seems to me it might be depression. There is help for that medical condition. And some anti-depression meds actually curb appetites, too! No magic pill; you may not have depression, and if you do, then it takes more than one try at treatment sometimes, but it is worth looking into. You should not have to feel this way. *hug.

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Old 04-21-2007, 10:07 PM   #6
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To me it sounds like your overly scheduled and stressful life is taking its toll on your body and your weight. I wonder how old you are (you mentioned gym class which made me wonder high school?) and why you're working 2 jobs and going to school full-time. There are different reasons for different people why they would keep up this schedule, but I think its the root of your problems.

I do think that if you intend to keep up this schedule or even a more relaxed one, and you want to lose weight, you're going to need to be super organized about this process. That's what's needed when you're very busy so you can fit everything in properly. Main thing is the eating and calorie counting. May it would help to plan your meals on the weekend and go and get the stuff and pre-prepare, separate into servings certain healthy meals and snacks that will energize you, increase your metabolism and make your body smile. Get a large bag of mixed nuts or walnuts and separate into small measured servings to put into yogurt, get low fat yogurt, maybe protein bars, fruit, sandwich meat, tuna (I like it w/ FF sour cream & scallions), whole wheat bread. I'm sure others on 3FC can give some of their favorite snack ideas.

But do consider parring down your schedule as I'm not sure the assault on your health, both physical and mental, is worth it.
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Old 04-21-2007, 10:49 PM   #7
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In my experience, it's just as difficult to lose a smaller amount of weight. I lost a total of 75 lbs. It took me 7 months to lose the first 55 lbs and then another NINE months to lose the remaining 20 lbs.

Try to get consistent with your food. Try to eat more, if you are exercising, 1100-1300 calories might not be sufficient (since you aren't losing weight on that amount, time to try something different). If you're always full and have difficulties getting enough food, focus on calorie-dense, super nutritious foods - salad dressings made with real olive oil, avocado on your sandwich, a snack of trailmix.

If you aren't SURE how much you are eating (are you eating 1100 or 1800 or more?) get sure. Track your calories carefully for a week just to see where you really are.
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Old 04-21-2007, 11:27 PM   #8
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Thank you all for your replies...

Yes, it's my last year in high school. Ugh, I know I'm young. But you know how crucial those teenage years are when it comes to body image? I don't want to 'see the light' and be fit at 40, I want it now.

What's really putting me down is that two years have gone by. Two years, I have spent hundreds of dollars on diet pills, personal trainers, gym membership and a ton of healthy food. In all common sense, I should have seen SOMETHING. Some form of benefit, but nothing! If not, just a weight gain. I am not exagerating this situation. I joined the gym weighing 128 pounds. Right now, I'm at a stubborn 152 (Okay...151.5)

What went wrong...?

Most of you have replied that not only how much I eat matters, but also WHAT I eat. From everything that I have heard and read, what's most important to a weight loss plan is "calories in, calories out" And if I decide to have a brownie for breakfast, a slice of pizza for lunch and a bowl of ice cream for supper, that's okay as long as it's under (for my case anyway) 1200 calories, no? Isn't that the beauty of calorie counting? Nutrients and vitamines can be obtained from multivitamines (which I take just in case anyway, whenever I remember) and the reason why one would eat high volume, low calorie foods is to stay full longer so you could eat less. But that's not my case anyway, seeing as my hunger mechanism is completley out of tune...

I can't keep a consistent excercise plan. I used to wake up at 5:30 am to go to the gym before school but I gave up after, because comming home from work (and going there straight after school) at 11 pm left me exhausted the next day.

I'm not sure why I'm keeping two jobs. I hate them both, but on some days, well, I hate them less, and that's what keeps me going. And the fact that I need money. I have bills to pay already. Prom, gym, cellphone, car, groceries. My mom doesn't support the whole lifestyle change, so I have to buy my own healthy food. I consider them an extra form of excercise. Because, instead of sitting on my butt all afternoon, I'm walking (or pacing) around for the next 4-6 hours.

I know what you girls mean when saying I have to get organized. I was just thinking about that before I logged on here. My life is terribly slapdash and all over the place, hence corresponding with my eating pattern. I want to get organized. I NEED to get organized. But that isn't easy, conisdering the fact that I have absoloutley NO time and after being disorganized all my life, rearranging my life in order is not gonna be an overnight miracle...

Oh and one more thing! Serving sizes are not warped in my head. I've gone through a long and agonizing faze in my life where I calculated every single serving, every calorie of every food, read every label, every book and magazine on nutrition I could lay my hands on. Thank God, I've eased off the obsession a bit, seeing as it ruined my social life. But I still don't over-do my portion limits, unless I'm conscious about it. ("Oh I just had a huge chinese lunch? Maybe I'll have something really light tonight...) Reasonable thinking I guess.

And I'm sorry. I'm not looking for a reason to be pitied. I just NEED to-- oh i don't know! I just want someone to tell me what's wrong with me. But I know no one can fix my problems for me but me. I just want to release this long and complicated word vomit (hehe...sorry) and see it from an outsider's point of view. None of my friends understand. They have seen me chubby, thin, emaciated, normal, chubby, and finally overweight. But they just think I can't control myself. They don't get it. They don't get it when I tell them everything I just told you. They haven't gone through this.

I've seen doctors before, and nutritionists, and personal trainers. Some laughed at me, others gave me advice that complicated my life even more. I don't know who to look towards to anymore. I know I'm not morbidly overweight. But I want to adress this problem before it goes out of hand. I want to be in control, but how can I be in control of something I don't even know is there? I can't see the problem. Stress, oh stress yes. And so much fatigue, and worry. And stress, yet again. But I'm too tired to do something about it...I'm just so...ugh, I don't know anymore.

Thanks for reading this, you guys. It means alot...

Last edited by Remember2Forget : 04-21-2007 at 11:32 PM.
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Old 04-21-2007, 11:48 PM   #9
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well first of all you are not eating enough. 1200 calories for someone who is active and 150 pouinds is not enough....

at age 17 5'3" 152 pounds You have a BMR of 1532.4 that is the absolute bare miniumum amount of healthy calories you need to ingest every day.

secondly
Quote:
a brownie for breakfast, a slice of pizza for lunch and a bowl of ice cream for supper, that's okay as long as it's under (for my case anyway) 1200 calories, no?
umm NO. come on you know better than that.. besides if that's how you are eating then I'm sure you don't need to be spending money on wholesome foods for a lifestyle NEITHER you or your mommy are supporting.

you talk the talk now walk the walk. Sorry I don't pity you. and I think you are making your own problems... how hard would it be to have

breakfast of a hard boiled egg or some string cheese or a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich on whole wheat bread? with a glass of milk.

lunch grab a salad with chicken instead of pizza

dinner we won't even discuss it but ice cream is not a food it's a treat.

you're TIRED because you are not properly fueling your body. and I'll bet you don't drink enough water and that is causing dehydration and you are tired from that too.
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Old 04-21-2007, 11:49 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Remember2Forget View Post
Most of you have replied that not only how much I eat matters, but also WHAT I eat. From everything that I have heard and read, what's most important to a weight loss plan is "calories in, calories out" And if I decide to have a brownie for breakfast, a slice of pizza for lunch and a bowl of ice cream for supper, that's okay as long as it's under (for my case anyway) 1200 calories, no? Isn't that the beauty of calorie counting? Nutrients and vitamines can be obtained from multivitamines (which I take just in case anyway, whenever I remember)

I definitely believe quality of food matters. I count calories AND eat healthy foods.
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Old 04-21-2007, 11:58 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladybugnessa View Post
well first of all you are not eating enough. 1200 calories for someone who is active and 150 pouinds is not enough....

at age 17 5'3" 152 pounds You have a BMR of 1532.4 that is the absolute bare miniumum amount of healthy calories you need to ingest every day.

secondly

umm NO. come on you know better than that.. besides if that's how you are eating then I'm sure you don't need to be spending money on wholesome foods for a lifestyle NEITHER you or your mommy are supporting.

you talk the talk now walk the walk. Sorry I don't pity you. and I think you are making your own problems... how hard would it be to have

breakfast of a hard boiled egg or some string cheese or a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich on whole wheat bread? with a glass of milk.

lunch grab a salad with chicken instead of pizza

dinner we won't even discuss it but ice cream is not a food it's a treat.

you're TIRED because you are not properly fueling your body. and I'll bet you don't drink enough water and that is causing dehydration and you are tired from that too.
I'm just giving out an example. I do my best to choose healthy options to eat, especially for breakfast. I do have 4 servings of vegtables and I eat fruit every day. I do know better than that, but I was just trying to support the idea of the so-called simple 'calories in, calories out'.

And I have a liter bottle of water that I fill up and down at last 3 times a day, if not more thank you very much.
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Old 04-21-2007, 11:59 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Remember2Forget View Post
Most of you have replied that not only how much I eat matters, but also WHAT I eat. From everything that I have heard and read, what's most important to a weight loss plan is "calories in, calories out" And if I decide to have a brownie for breakfast, a slice of pizza for lunch and a bowl of ice cream for supper, that's okay as long as it's under (for my case anyway) 1200 calories, no? Isn't that the beauty of calorie counting? Nutrients and vitamines can be obtained from multivitamines (which I take just in case anyway, whenever I remember) and the reason why one would eat high volume, low calorie foods is to stay full longer so you could eat less. But that's not my case anyway, seeing as my hunger mechanism is completley out of tune...

I can't keep a consistent excercise plan. I used to wake up at 5:30 am to go to the gym before school but I gave up after, because comming home from work (and going there straight after school) at 11 pm left me exhausted the next day.
It sounds like you've slowed your metabolism down because you're not eating enough. For someone who's young, is working several jobs and going to high school, plus exercising, 1200 simply is not enough. And it is definitely without a doubt not enough if it just coming from junk foods like a brownie for breakfast and ice cream for dinner. Dont get upset, but that sounds a bit ridiculous and I believe you know this as you sound very bright. Vitamins are not sufficient to get the nutrients you need, the protein, good carbs that don't cause a spike in blood sugar, and good fats found in foods like olive oil, avocado and nuts, which protects your heart.

When you dont eat a lot, and when you dont have a lot of muscle tone, which is caused by lack of food as muscle depletes along with fat when there's not enough food, your metabolism becomes very good at conserving energy and operating on less. Consequently, you "feel full all day off one slice of cake." My resting metabolic rate said I have a higher than normal metabolism, and let me tell you I eat a lot and I get hungry constantly. I can feel that metabolism revved up sometimes. I think that is the preferable way to go. You get to nourish your body and yet still burn more calories.

So perhaps you need to work on increasing your metabolism. Maybe start eating more calories from healthy foods and forgetting weightloss for a bit; perhaps just worrying about being healthy and increasing your metabolism. Maybe cut out the junk but go up in calories. Try to lift weights if you have the opportunity to increase your muscle, which burns fat at rest as I'm sure you know.

I encourage you to think about whether you REALLY need all those jobs. I think its extremely admirable to work a few hours a week as a teenager but you deserve to be a "kid" and have fun. Having time to focus on your health, well-being and happiness are more important than dollars in your pocket (unless things are really dire and you need the jobs just to eat, etc). I think the lack of rest and the stress is also contributing to a slow metabolism.

Also, you're strategy about using your jobs as a means of walking actually prevents you from working out in a manner that really strengthens your body and improves your cardiovascular system (all of which will make you feel so good and strong and not drained and tired like you feel now), so its sort of a waste to just be burning more calories being on your feet, yet not really getting you anywhere in terms of fitness.

Hope things improve for you dear
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Old 04-22-2007, 12:21 AM   #13
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I'm sorry you have having such a rough time. Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair

If what you've been doing hasn't been working, then it's time to try something new It sounds like you've fallen into a routine in many ways. Your diet, your lifestyle, your lack of energy. I can't begin to imagine how stressful it must be to try to juggle school and two jobs. It's probably been very difficult for you to find some time just for yourself.

You mention that you might be eating more calories than you think. Some experts believe that many people underestimate the calories they consume. JayEll suggested writing it down. That might be the first place you start. Buy an inexpensive little notebook and start writing down everything you eat. It doesn't matter if it's just one bite of something. Write it down. Start reading the labels and check the calories of everything, and add them up. You might be surprised!

Eating healthy is about more than just trying to stay full. Eating whole grains and less cake and similar foods will provide more nutrients to give you more energy. You might be tired because your body is lacking the right kind of fuel to keep you going. Taking a multivitamin is helpful, but there are many more nutrients in food that is not provided by multivitamins, so it's not going to help much. The sugar in the brownies and ice cream can also make you feel tired and yucky, even if you do eat veggies and fruits. A lot of people notice a big difference in how they feel when they eliminate or limit sugars.

Hang in there, you can do it Just remember - What you've been doing hasn't worked, so it's definitely time to try something new. Check out a few diet books from the library, or read some of the daily menus posted on the forum in the various diet forums to get an idea of what other people are eating that helps them lose weight. Don't be afraid to try something new. If it doesn't work, then try something else Weight loss often involves trying several different methods before you find the one that is perfect for you.

Good luck
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Old 04-22-2007, 12:27 AM   #14
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You sound like you may have a thyroid problem. You might find it helpful to discuss the possibility with your doctor and have them check it. The American Endocrinology Board recently changed the range for normal thyroid hormone levels, so if you have not had it checked recently, it might be a good idea to have it checked out. Low thyroid can make it hard to lose weight, makes you tired, and can contribute to depression.

Hang in there! You just need to research and keep trying to solve the problem. You don't want to give up. You are worth finding the answer!
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Old 04-22-2007, 01:58 AM   #15
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Calories in vs. calories out is the gist of it, but yep, others here have written it, what makes up those calories matters as well, for several reasons: you can pack more energy/nutrients (and more in quantity) in, say, 400 cal of healthy foods than in 400 cals of cookies, so this will fuel you for a longer time (in terms of fuel for your body to use, not only in terms of a full stomach). Really, I know first hand: sometime along the past year, I started to grow complacent and think that only the calories mattered. So I ended up eating crappy foods, gaining some weight again, losing my hair, and 'wondering' why, oh why I was always so very tired at school...

Seriously, I think trying to watch your food quality and intake, and later on reorganizing your exercise planning -- so that you don't feel overwhelmed all at once -- is worth a try. Maybe this will be enough to put you back on the right track. And if it's something else (hoping not, because neither thyroid matters nor depression are easy to fight), then you can still look into that later on?
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