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Old 04-19-2007, 09:06 AM   #1
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Default Is you husband jealous...

of the time you spent at the gym?
Mine is and it makes me feel so guilty, I go like only 1 hour a day, it is not like I live there
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:13 AM   #2
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That's really odd. My mom goes for 2 hour walks at the park and my dad doesn't care. If my mom enjoys her walks, then he's ok with it. Only 1 hour and he guilt trips you? That's not cool. I'm not married so I might be wrong, but that would just seem off to me.
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:13 AM   #3
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Good question.

I have to say NO he isn't, he really encourages me to go for the most part. He works M-F 8a-5p and I work 3 days a week, 7p-7a, so on my days off I go to the gym in the evenings and I feel guilty it takes away from our time and "family time", but that doesn't come from him. Plus then it amounts to an hr or so at the gym PLUS shower, dress, it's about the whole evening after dinner. Kids baths, homework, etc. doesn't leave much time for us. But he does appreciate the results!

Lately he has been making some noise about losing weight himself, and once he gave me this "well at least YOU get to go the gym"...but I think once the weather gets nicer, he'll be okay, he loses his wt working outside.
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:21 AM   #4
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My DH is very good, but last nite I took a late evening class (ZUMBA Aerobics) and he got really upset. He is normally a very cool guy, but he just did not like me going that late to the gym
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:27 AM   #5
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If I wanted to go to the gym, DH would be all for it. For me though, DH works long hours and sometimes we can only spend an hour or so together at night so I don't go by myself. We used to go together but then since he works long hours, he felt like he had no downtime. Anyway, our solution was to work out at home.

Overall, I'd say DH wouldn't care if I went to the gym by myself and took classes but I like working out at home better.
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:31 AM   #6
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I feel sad that he made such a big deal about it. I am not a bad wf I just want to take care of me...
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:31 AM   #7
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this is an interesting question since i was going at lunchtime and it was just NOT working for me.

I sat hubby down expecting him to be upset and asked him if he would mind if i did the gym on my way home from work (which for some reason works well for me).... he said NO.... and so far it's not been too much of a problem. of course there are two days a week I don't get home till nearly 8 pm and we wait to eat as a family...

he's had to take on more making dinner responsibilities but he's sucked it up... i think the fact that I feel better and i'm more "frisky" helps him accept that a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do...

he does resent the weekend morning classes....
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:31 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carolva77 View Post
My DH is very good, but last nite I took a late evening class (ZUMBA Aerobics) and he got really upset. He is normally a very cool guy, but he just did not like me going that late to the gym

did he say why? maybe he's concerned for your safety? I know mine is...
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:32 AM   #9
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It is kind of sad feeling guilty for taking care of one-self
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:33 AM   #10
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He said that he did not know where I was, and why did I left so late, but it was more like jealousy than concern
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:40 AM   #11
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Hi Carol!

I think we women worry too much about what our husbands think! We really need to think more of ourselves and do what we KNOW will help us!

I met my future husband when we were just ten years old. We have already been married for 30 years and known one another for 45! I really just figured out in the last few years since I have been losing weight that I had been thinking so much about him and his needs, our sons and their needs and my jobs and my rest of my family members that I HAD LOST MYSELF!!!!! No wonder I gained over 100 pounds! I wasn't caring for myself and my needs!

I think we let our families make us feel guilty about doing even small things for ourselves. We talk ourselves into being so selfless that we lose sight of the fact that we have needs, too!

PLEASE don't feel guilty for doing things that will help you feel better about yourself! PLEASE care about yourself enough to KEEP GOING to the gym to do what you enjoy.

Is it the time of day that is the issue for your husband? Does he feel like that's HIS TIME with you? When you go to the gym at that late hour does he have more responsibilities added to HIS routine? Sometimes it's helpful to find out why the husband is raising an objection...

Oh, also...My husband actually was upset with me because I wasn't his eating buddy anymore! For years I had been eating things that he liked and been cooking foods that he wanted. I'm not a picky person at all when it comes to food. What I hadn't realized is that by being his eating buddy and eating the foods that HE liked, I was thwarting any hope for weighing a normal weight. Apparently it was more important for him to have me as his eating buddy than it was for him to have a thinner, more healthy wife!!! Several years ago I confronted him and told him that I just couldn't be his eating buddy AND also be the new person that I wanted to be. He still misses having me as his eating buddy, but I've noticed that he continues to eat what he wants whether I am there eating along with him or not!!!
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:41 AM   #12
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Hey, carolva77

Maybe you should both sit down and talk about it. I can see why he was worried if he didn't know where you were, or didn't have a clear idea of when you would be home. Do you have a cellphone so you could call?

Sometimes with men being worried or afraid comes out sounding like irritation or jealousy. Probably he does worry about you being out late.

Also, don't be so sensitive to this. Just because he has an issue doesn't make you a "bad wife." You aren't there to please his every need!

So, have a chat with him!

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Old 04-19-2007, 09:43 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carolva77 View Post
He said that he did not know where I was, and why did I left so late, but it was more like jealousy than concern

did you tell him you were going to the gym? if he wasn't home can you call or leave him a note...

maybe he thinks there's a guy there you're hot for?

i know for me when i get home from the gym (and trust me there are no guys there that interest me) I'm heading right for hubby cause i'm so 'worked up' for him.... maybe that's why he lets me go... it gets me HOT...
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:46 AM   #14
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THANKS LADIES!!!!
I will have a chat with him! But I also agree, that I cant please every single of his wishes. I am trying to be a good wife, but to be that, I need also to take care of myself.
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:51 AM   #15
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I work at a gym, so no, my husband doesn't get upset if I go there. He knows I go a few times a week to teach, and he watches the kids while I go.

However, I do have to attend dance seminars out of town periodically, and at those times I am often gone all day, or every now and then-for an entire weekend, depending on the location. At first he was apprehensive, but it wasn't out of jealousy. It was out of missing me, and being "bored" while I was away.

But, we talked about it, and he knows that it is important to me. We have a system worked out now, though. When I return from the gym in the evenings that I go (he watches the kids), then I take over with the children-and he throws on his iPod and goes for a run, or goes out to the garage to lift weights himself. We both get our exercise time to ourselves then.
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