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Old 04-10-2007, 03:29 PM   #1
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Unhappy Pls Help Me Get Out of this State of Mind

Hi ladies,
I could really use some help.
Iím at a point where I know that Iím not losing weight because I feel overwhelmed. Itís started to enter into the ďtoo hard to doĒ category. This feeling was triggered as I am now (as of April) in a position where my weight affects my professional life (as in, Iím no longer up for promotion and may be put into a less favored category because I need to lose weight).
I knew this was coming, but Iíd had knee surgery in November and I didnít realize how difficult it would be to exercise after the surgery. Iím not even allowed to walk for 20 minutes. I had been exercising on the elliptical and swimming, but it didnít impact my weight despite a calorie controlled intake (1400-1600 cals daily). It just isnít enough for a 40-something gal to lose weight on. As a single working mom, I try to spend a lot of time with my 2 year old, but I started using that as an excuse instead of taking my daughter with me when I walk or do more elliptical at home. I even have Yoga for Kids DVDs that would include her.
Since I can only take one day at a time, Iím trying to just be happy that I exercised, planned healthy meals, and have eaten moderately well today. I try to do that each day. But Iím really dragging butt.
I feel very disappointed in myself and am just plain struggling to not give up each day. Iíve caught myself saying, ďWhat the heck, Dunkin Doughnuts has a drive throughĒ and other such non-sense. Most of the time I found something else to do, but Iíve slipped sometimes too, last night I ate a Wendyís hamburger for dinner (no fries, like that matters). I was skinny as kid and up through my 20s. When PCOS hit, it hit hard and I gained 30 lbs in a year while I was exercising and dieting like a fiend. I used to eat anything I wanted and not gain weight. I know that has changed, but through the years Iíve not given up the struggle. Iíve wanted to, but not given up. In the past, Iíve always ďgone it aloneĒ and really never had anyone to support me in my efforts to lose weight.
Could yíall please help me to get out of this frustrating state of mind?
Thanks to all/anyone Ė who has the time to offer some support.
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Old 04-10-2007, 03:42 PM   #2
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Hi, ShyCammie, and welcome! First of all, I notice two things: one, that you are taking a lot of positive steps and two, that you aren't giving yourself credit for them! The people here are so supportive -- I'm sure you'll be able to do it with their help.
"Failing to plan is planning to fail." -- Alan Lakein
"The price of freedom is eternal vigilance." -- Thomas Jefferson.

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Old 04-10-2007, 04:01 PM   #3
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Well, ShyCammie - I'm going to echo Jman - you've already lost 21 pounds!

Yay Cammie, Yay Cammie!!

So - one day at a time. Okay - today's more than half through, and I bet you've eaten sensibly today Tomorrow, you'll do the same and then by Thursday, you can say 'Hey! I'm doing great - only one more day 'till the weekend, and then it'll be a whole other week!'

Okay - say it with me: "I am strong, and I have done SO well." Say it. SAY IT!!! Good girl

Hang in there - check in here for support every day, and take baby steps...

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Old 04-10-2007, 04:15 PM   #4
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Even if you're losing slowly, you're still losing-- or, even if you've stopped actually losing pounds, eating better foods and trying to exercise will have great health benefits. It's never pointless!

It really sucks that you were passed up for that promotion, but if you keep working at healthy habits you'll be in prime shape to get the next one! Not to mention the fact that your daughter will see your better lifestyle and hopefully internalize it, so that she'll have great habits for the rest of her life. That's definitely motivation!

Good luck, and don't give up!

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Old 04-10-2007, 04:15 PM   #5
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Thanks so much.
You're right. I really wasn't seeing the big picture...I guess I'm too caught up on the next pound, the next 10 pounds, the next 30 pounds and the fact that I didn't lose those 30 pounds in 4 months on a restricted exercise regime.
Plus, I have to admit, I didn't really expect anyone to answer my thread. I was "hoping" (and hope is not a method) that I might get an answer. I didn't realize that support would a) bring tears to my eyes and b) help put things into perspective.
I'm breathing better already.
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Old 04-10-2007, 04:42 PM   #6
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ShyCammie, Please don't give up. I've been there, very recently in fact. I felt overwhelmed, had a lot going on and just felt like giving it all up. I got back on track, decided that I was not going to undo what I've already done(lost over 40 lbs), and started where I had left off. I even gained 5 lbs. in one week just a couple of weeks ago, but I've lost that 5 lbs. plus.

You did nothing wrong by having a Wendy's burger and so what if you did have fries. I had a whole meal from McDonald's last week and still got the weight off. I don't eat like that every day. I allow it and I don't feel guilty about it. You are worth it.

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Old 04-10-2007, 04:48 PM   #7
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It is more difficult to lose weight with PCOS but it's totally doable. If you feel like you're going to give up then ask yourself what that would achieve. I really do understand and it's a question I have to ask myself constantly but whilst we're doing it we're achieving and getting closer to our dreams. You can do this
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Old 04-10-2007, 04:49 PM   #8
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It is definitely harder over 40, but it is still possible! I am over 40. I exercise just about every day, because I need to keep my calorie burning up high enough that I can restrict calories for a 1.2-lb-per-week weight loss, average, without going below 1200 cals eaten.

Yes, it is harder, and it is slower, but you can do it. You just have to have stamina, patience, and enough smarts to work with what you've got! And I think you have those things!

Hang in there!
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Old 04-10-2007, 04:50 PM   #9
Am I there yet?
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Ohhh Cammie! It seems like every night I lament to my husband that this whole diet/exercise thing is just way too hard and I don't want to do it anymore. How much easier it is to just order pizza for dinner instead of having to cook! And how much nicer it would be to go home and take a nap instead of going to the gym!

I feel your pain!

What I have heard advised many times on this site is to just take small steps. Make small changes. One day at a time. For instance, maybe instead of having three sodas a day, you only have one. Instead of fast food 3 times a week, you have it once a week. Instead of no exercise, you go for exercise 2 or 3 times a week. The better you start to feel about yourself and your positive changes, the more you'll want to make more positive changes!

It is so easy to get lost in the big picture. It used to depress me that I had 70 pounds to lose. 70 seemed like such a big, unmanageable, hopeless number to me! So what other choice did I have but to start whittling away, slowly but surely? And slowly, 70 pounds keeps getting less scary...

I look forward to the day I can say to myself "I've lost 21 pounds just like Cammie!" What an accomplishment!

20 lbs. to Moab, UT - 4/17/2008
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Old 04-10-2007, 06:01 PM   #10
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I've eaten a Wendy's hamburger several times while on my weight loss plan. Like you I skipped the fries and sometimes got nothing else but a junior burger (no cheese), a diet coke and sometimes the baked potato with sour cream. I think that's pretty darn good. Sometimes its the only food around or whatever the case may be, you didnt munch out and you're eating healthy so you should be proud.

I dont tend to lose too much weight without exercise either. Since you can't work out using your legs, how about burning calories and revving up your metabolism by lifting weights? You can be seated for most if not all of your upper body exercises, so the knee will not be an issue at all. Once you've got your form down right, you should try to lift heavyish. I swear, you can actually FEEL your metabolism picking up the rest of the day from a good 40 minute work out with weights. I guarantee this will get your weight loss going again.

My former and future me.
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Old 04-10-2007, 06:31 PM   #11
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Do you still have the PCOS?
I have PCOS and REALLY had much luck with a low carb diet... I have switched to calorie counting because my symptoms are MUCH better and my hormones are back to almost normal..

have you done any research on LC and PCOS?
also.. I found it really helped to stay away from Soy..
(plant based estrogen you know)..

and I want to comment on the "Wendy's burger no fries".. YES it does matter.. you MADE a move in the right direction.. it's all the little steps that matter, right!

Be kind to yourself tonight..
A Wooo Hoo Smiley for Each (5) Pounds Gone!

ďBefore I was 40 I wondered what people thought about me, now I wonder what I think about them.Ē
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Old 04-10-2007, 06:48 PM   #12
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I totally know what you are going through, and I will tell you what the wonderful people on this site have been telling me... Stay positive, don't give up. I saw several posts about the big picture and that is totally true; and it includes eating Wendy's when you want it, you cannot give up the foods you love and succeed, you just have to moderate how much and often you have them. For me it is Mexican.

Thinking you can never have your favorite food again IS too hard. You have done amazing things for yourself, celebrate and give yourself some credit for your success.

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Old 04-10-2007, 06:57 PM   #13
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Default You are NOT alone!

Hi Cammie!

Do you know what the beautiful thing here is? There are SOOOOO many of us who feel/have felt/ will BE feeling everything that you have mentioned!! It really helps so much when you read someone's comments and you feel so much the same way that you could have written what they wrote YOURSELF!!!

Weight loss isn't easy, but it IS do-able. Some days are much harder than others. I think the beginning and the close-to-goal times are especially challenging because at first you haven't lost that much and there is so much more to lose; towards the close-to-goal time there is this impatience that develops because the weight isn't melting off as it once did. Frustrating!

I totally am with you on the donut thing and the Wendy's thing. I sure have downed my share of the products from BOTH of those places in the past!

It DOES get easier as you lose more weight because you've invested so much in your diet and exercise that you don't want to blow it with a food fest. There are slip-ups for sure, but the slip-ups don't usually go on for DAYS!

Good News! You are NEVER ALONE when you come to this website! Because there are people here from all over the world, there's always a bunch of people online!!!

You can do this! We are all here to help you!

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Old 04-10-2007, 07:25 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by ShyCammie View Post
Most of the time I found something else to do, but I’ve slipped sometimes too, last night I ate a Wendy’s hamburger for dinner (no fries, like that matters).

It matters..... it matters A LOT. You are beating yourself up for the hamburger. I dont know what kind you got so I'll just assume "classic single" - which while not GREAT is 420 calories. Not a million, not even 1000. 420. If that was your dinner, it was pretty nutritionally weak, but not outrageous calorie wise. By not ordering the (small) fries you saved 370 calories. Assuming that you used to order "small". So instead of 790 calories for dinner, you had 420. almost HALF. Wow if you could do that with all your bad habits - cut the bad in half...you will be amazingly successful

I am not saying go out for wendys all the time. Just try to keep slips in perspective.

hmmm....cut bad habits in half, double good habits...maybe that should be the plan.
Lost successfully, maintained successfully. Followed by a whole lot of setbacks and obstacles. Starting over with the knowledge gained before.

Journey to the next decade:

New "decades":
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Old 04-11-2007, 09:24 AM   #15
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Default It's incredible!

Thank you SO MUCH!!
I can't believe I struggled all that time on my own when such incredibly wonderful support was just a mouse-click away.
It's a relief to read your words. (I read that things (and me) are not as horrible as I felt.) In the big picture, things aren't as bad or catastrophic as I've made them out to be. I knew I'd lost my positive attitude. I knew I needed help.
It's like I can breath again, now.
No, I didn't lose 50 pounds overnight. But it feels like I did. The weight of feeling like I was alone and no one really cared if I lost the weight or gained 100 more pounds is lifted. I realize that "life happens" and I may feel awful again...but this time I don't have to psychologically "curl up and die." I now have a place to go.
I can come here and get what I've never had before - support.
I wish I had words for how wonderful this feels. I've never had a place to go or people to reach out to.
I understand now why "a support system" is so critical to successful weight loss.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!
I may have a long way to go, but I don't have to do it alone.
Again, thank you - your words make a huge difference in my life.
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