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Rant: Skinny people who call themselves fat

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Old 03-26-2007, 08:13 PM   #1
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Default Rant: Skinny people who call themselves fat

So today, I was talking with a friend and she was complaining about how "fat" she got over spring break. She's a size 2/4, she put on 4 pounds. She went on about her non-existent love handles and how she can't see her abs.
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Old 03-26-2007, 08:21 PM   #2
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Aawww, go ahead, take 'er out back and tar and feather her. I won't mind!!

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Old 03-26-2007, 08:38 PM   #3
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It can be SO frustrating - but I try really, really, really (did I say really?) hard to remember that everyone has a right to feel however they feel. To her, maybe she does feel fat.....especially if she's always really tiny and CAN see her abs, LOL! Don't forget, we're sitting on the other side of the fence and know what gaining weight really is - some of the skinny minnies just don't have a clue!

Keep in mind that's it's no reflection of you - it's all about her, and how she feels about HERSELF.
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Old 03-26-2007, 08:40 PM   #4
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That is really kind of sad. Her self esteem must be really low. But I agree its not helping us any!
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Old 03-26-2007, 08:47 PM   #5
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For reasons I will never understand completely, some women like to have "social conversations" that involve putting down their bodies, especially complaining about being fat. These statements often have no basis in reality, because let's be truthful, if she were REALLY fat, the last thing she would be doing would be announcing it!

Can you imagine that? "Gosh, I'm so fat, I've gained 50 pounds in the last two years." Oh no, no one would be talking about that! "I can really feel these love handles, and I when I look down can't see my toes anymore." Nope. Would be a very embarrassing conversation for everyone.

The only hope is not to play this conversational game and to switch the topic to something else. Kindly.

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Old 03-26-2007, 08:50 PM   #6
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Gawd! I can totally relate.

On a different but equally annoying note I know someone who every time she sees me tells me I lost weight...even if I have just gained 10lbs. I mean its better than telling me I am fat but still it drives me batty.
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Old 03-26-2007, 08:59 PM   #7
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What bothers me is when overweight people have this misconception that thin, slender or normal sized people get to eat whatever they want while they are unfairly relegated to either fat or constant dieting and exercise.

Actually, most people work actively and continuously to maintain their weight. Loosely calorie counting/limiting or eating low fat or low carb or whole foods, and purposefully exercising regularly.

On the other hand, the "naturally" thin people usually dont have very large appetites, so while they dont need to actively try to maintain their weight, they just dont FEEL like eating that much and consequently consume far fewer calories with ease. Often you will see them eating an ice cream sundae or burger with fries, but what you dont realize is that that is probably the only thing they've eaten all day because of their limited appetites (DH is a good example of this).

Anyway, just thought I'd throw out a different rant that has occurred to me at times.
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Old 03-26-2007, 09:19 PM   #8
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Yeah, it can be wayyyyy annoying to hear a skinny person say "I'm fat!".... then again... I remember the times when I WAS SKINNY.... and I STILL FELT FAT. I'm convinced that it's part emotional, & part mental. NONE of it is truly physical. While I can say "Gosh I am fat!" at 163 pounds, and yet STILL say it at 138 pounds... come on now, something ain't right there! -

.....So when I hear a skinny person say something about being fat... I try to remember.... being fat & feeling fat are often two different things... and yet, it feels like the same thing. So no matter WHAT you weigh, if you feel like you're fat.... then you are.
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Old 03-26-2007, 09:24 PM   #9
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I can understand your feeling but I can also say that I think when you are skinnier, you can tell when you have gained weight a lot easier. I don't know this personally but DH does.

When DH and I first started living together, he gained 5 lbs. He could really feel a difference with those 5 lbs and felt like he was getting pudgy for him. So what did I do? I started on a crusade to re-energize my own weight loss and ensure that his upward trend stopped right then. We had been eating heavier foods at the time so we trimmed those back as well as our portions in general. He quickly lost his excess 5 lbs and then 10 lbs more. Of course I'm jealous of how thin he is but I know he is working on a different scale than me. I could gain 5 lbs and not even blink.
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Old 03-26-2007, 09:28 PM   #10
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I see where you guys are coming from but I wanted to chime in with the poster who started this thread...

I know someone who is very small (size 0/2) and constantly talks about being fat. Not like for real though...she has said to me that she knows she isn't fat but she says it because it's a joke to her. I was dead silent on that one. I get SO irked when she talks about weight because it's my sensitive button. However, I've learned to turn a deaf ear to her and so far she hasn't really said much about weight. I just don't care, frankly. Hmmm...this rant just turned into a "eh" post. Oh well. That's how I see it...

Btw, I've been wanting to write a post about this for a while. Good to get it off my chest.
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Old 03-26-2007, 09:47 PM   #11
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I know we can all feel fat at any weight, but I think having a little discretion is the key. I can tell my buddy who is similar to me (ie. a bit heavy, but not a serious weight problem) that I feel fat/need to lose weight etc. But I have friends who are much more overweight, I would never whine to them about being fat. I think people who do that are just trying to bolster their own egos by drawing attention to the fact that they are at least thinner than you.
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Old 03-26-2007, 09:57 PM   #12
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Just wanted to chime in here with two anecdotes.

I think your friend could just doing it for attention. Skinny people who call themselves fat are annoying sometimes, but it certainly gets your attention when they're doing it because it's a silly claim to make. I have a friend who is continually calling herself "fat" "huge" and with "gelatinous thighs....", yet we are basically the same height and she is 5 lbs less than me! Grrr

And if your friend is not doing it for attention, perhaps low self esteem. I remember being a size 4 (I don't really know if I will be again...but that would be nice!) and honestly thinking I was fat. But I didn't ever mention it to anyone, because I deal with self esteem problems rather internally and don't outwardly mention them. Maybe she doesn't.
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Old 03-26-2007, 09:57 PM   #13
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My mother had a neighbor who would do this all of the time. She was about 25 years older than my mom, and Mom suspected the woman was fishing for compliments. Finally, one day my mom (about 80 lbs or more heavier than the woman) got tired of providing the "oh, no, you look great!" compliment, and instead Mom paused and said, "You know, I think you have put on a little weight." The neighbor NEVER mentioned weight gain again.
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Old 03-26-2007, 10:13 PM   #14
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Thanks for the responses. I don't feel bad at all, just a little irked.

I don't know my friend all that well, but I think she's been thin all her life. She knows that I was 20 lbs heavier a year ago. I suspect she's doing it partly for attention, partly because she's cluessless.
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Old 03-26-2007, 10:18 PM   #15
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I agree with Janie.

I used to have a friend in high school (she and I are not friends anymore, even though she is now one of my sister's inlaws), who had the most beautiful hair I had ever seen. We were all envious of her hair. Long and dark and naturally curly, while I, had to sit for hours with perm rods and stinky chemicals in my hair in order to get kinda sorta curly hair. She used to go in the bathroom at school, and play with her hair in the mirror and whine about how frizzy and ugly her hair was, and it wasn't, and she knew it. And every little girl in the bathroom would say "Oh, you're hair's not ugly. I love your hair. It's beautiful! I wish I had your hair..." It always seemed to me that she was fishing for compliments, and she knew just how to play the other girls to give them to her, but also I think she liked feeling like hers was the best, and she liked making us feel like ours was not... get my drift?

I think your friend is alot like my older sister. Sounds like they both may be doing exactly the same thing as the girl with the beautiful hair, only with them, they are doing it with their weight. Fishing for compliments to boost their ego. Your friend wants you to tell her she's not fat, and point out how much fatter you are than her. This is what she is after, whether she is aware of it or not. My sister weighs 120 lbs soaking wet, and she talks constantly about how she's getting fat, that she's getting a gut (yeah, right!) and her butt is getting sooo big (yeah, RIGHT!) Whatever.... I tell her she's not fat, and to shut up. And that I don't want to hear her whine to me until she looks like me...

There is a small chance that she really does think she is fat. Some people have something wrong in their brains, and when they look in the mirror, they see a distorted image of themselves. Like being in one of those fun houses with the mirrors, you know. A mental disorder usually associated with people with eating disorders. This is what they see when they look at themselves.

But most thin people know they are thin, they just want you to remind them of it, and they want to rub our noses in it. Some people can't feel good about themselves unless they are making others feel bad about themselves.... It sucks, but that's the way it is.
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